hello? hello?

Just got in from the hospital about, oh, I guess 45 mins to an hour ago. Empty house. No note, no message. No sign of my guys. So, I place a call to the sweetest hubby's phone, but no answer. Hmm. Leave message, then wait for a response. Patiently.
Time passes.

Tried again to reach my guys. No answer.

One last time. Phone rings the obligatory 4-5 times, then straight to phone mail. Ugh. Hate phone mail. Since the first message I left hasn't been responded to, I hang up. The phone rings in my hand before I can even put it down.

me: hello?

him: hey, mommy. (do you know how much I LOVE being called mommy?!)

me: hey, baby! what are you doing, sweetie?

him: daddy's phone was ringing. is it charged now?

me: where's daddy? did you hear the phone ringing?
(I was a little confused. I had ended the call, or so I thought, so I wasn't even sure how he had gotten through.....)
did you call mommy?

him: i pushed the green button.

me: (still confused, but whatever.....) you answered daddy's phone?
how did you know what button to push?

him: yes. i pushed the green button.
i don't know.

A few seconds later, I hear the sweetest hubby's voice with an incredulous tone asking the little man what he's doing with his phone.

him: (matter-of-factly) talkin' to mommy.

Sweetest hubby figured it all out. Little man heard the phone ringing but before he could get to it, I'd hung up. But he didn't know that, so he pushed the green button to talk and that made the phone dial the last number received - mine!

Merry Christmas!

Man, it's been a while. Sorry.

Can I tell you how great it is that Christmas is almost here? Can I? Can I?
The sweetest little man is just over the moon about it, and it's rubbing off on his mama. We took our annual trip to Gatlinburg/Pigeon Forge a couple of weeks ago. We love making a trip up in early fall to see the leaves when they're putting on their show; but since the arrival of the little man 4 years ago, we've discovered another reason to make a trip in December.

The real Santa Claus lives in Pigeon Forge. Yes, he does. Oh, and he sings and plays the guitar.

On our inaugural visit to this magical, amazing Christmas store (really, I've never seen anything like this place) we got there right as Santa started a song. There were probably 5-6 kids sitting on little benches down in front of him as he sang. They were entranced.
So was I.

I listened to Santa sing as I held my little man. I was a goner. I had my sweet boy in my arms and I watched his eyes as he was so captivated by Santa.
The wonder, the awe. Santa!

I couldn't help it; I had tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat and all I needed was a little push and I would have gone full-out blubbering, over the edge.

His song? "Thank God for Kids".
(ok, so the video is a little cheesy, but the words.....sheesh! I'm all verklempt!)

Yep. Thank God for kids. And I do. This sweet, precious little boy - thank you, God.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Bedtime prayers

Putting little man to bed is one thing. Getting him to settle down and actually go to sleep is another thing entirely. Two nights ago, we're all three in his bed, snuggled up together. The giggles and wiggles have finally ceased, so it's time for bedtime prayers. All eyes closed, hands together, whispered prayers.

Dear God,
Tdank you for all the people and the city and mommy and daddy and tdank you for the planets and pluto and mars and tdank you for our house and our church......

Couple of things. Firstly: I'm not sure exactly how to spell thank you the way he says it, so that will have to do. It used to be Fank you, but now it's sort of a stuffy-nosed thank you, hence the 'tdank' you, above.

Secondly: I'm sure there was more to the prayer, but in all honesty - after the thank you for Pluto and Mars - I sort of stopped listening.
In all the prayers in all the world throughout time - y'think God has ever gotten one for Pluto and Mars???? Y' think He's up there saying, "Well, it's about time somebody recognized Pluto and Mars?"

And no, we didn't bother to tell little man that there has been some question as to the validity of Pluto actually being a planet. Why break a little guys heart?

Power rangers are human too.

Yeah, so I'm a little behind in my Halloween story.....whatevah.

This is (was) little man's first time trick-or-treating; before moving to the 'big city' we lived a little ways out of town, up a long-dark driveway in the woods. No one wanted to walk up that driveway for a treat, I'm tellin' ya. So, we never actually went out trick-or-treating, either. We didn't live in a subdivision, and the nearest neighbors had an even longer dark driveway, so we would celebrate at the church fall festival.
Everybody was happy.

Fast forward to Halloween 2008. We have moved to the Halloween Capital of the South. Our subdivision has the award for the most enthusiastic halloweeny spirit. Oh my goodness, these people go all out. It was exactly a year ago that we were shopping around for a new place to live and as such, we'd made several 'covert' missions up here to get the feel of the area, see what was available, etc. One trip was to this subdivision.

It was probably the week or so before the big day and I couldn't believe what I saw. Almost every house was decorated....not just a pumpkin here, a pumpkin there.....but decorated to the nines! I've never seen anything like it.
I told the sweetest hubby that I couldn't wait to see what they do for Christmas! (oh, btw. Found out that evidently Christmas doesn't awaken the enthusiastic decorating bug that halloween does here in the burbs o' hotlanta.)

Anywho....back to the story. Oh wait. Hold on... one more thing about this peachy city.
Atlanta has a traffic problem. Seriously. You didn't know?
Well, picture this. Add the pressure of half a million people (heck, I don't know, seemed like a good round number.....I just live here.) wanting to get home 'early' for their little gouls, and you got yerself a hot mess. Just wanted to throw that one in there for your pleasure.
You're welcome.

So, we get home and have maybe 15 minutes to get ready before we have to go to the obligatory pre-trick-or-treat party at the end of the cul-de-sac. Complete with pizza and costumes. BYOB, of course. But that's another post for another time.........

SH and me notice a little bit of an 'attitude' coming from the little-man-who-would-be-the-red-power-ranger. Not a problem yet, just the first inkling that there might be a wee problem ahead.
Since I've posted before about these 'Feelings of Not Belonging' nonsense; I'm not going to go into that too much here. But as for me, I was pretty much ready to leave after finishing my piece of pizza. Little man had eaten half a piece of pizza and two brownies and was having a great time. He doesn't let something like not knowing anybody very well stop him from enjoying himself. He just jumps right in and joins the fun. Man, I wish I could do that. When does self-consciousness take over??? Somewhere around teenage years, I imagine.

Cue the big kid dressed as a ghost/zombie. I saw little man running through the cul-de-sac where we were. The big kid was behind him, chasing him; LM had a smile on his face, so I thought nothing of it. Then, on the next go around, LM wasn't laughing anymore - the laughing face was a little frantic now. Hubby stepped out of the edge of the crowd; Ben saw him and ran to him crying. He was scared.
Little man isn't one to just cry at the drop of a hat, he's really a pretty tough little guy, but like I said earlier, he wasn't his usual cheerful self. Got him all straightened up and his daddy took him over to where the other kids were and they talked to the ghost/zombie. He apologized, saying he had no idea that Ben was scared, they were just playing and that he never meant to scare him. Zombie offered his hand. Shake. Problem solved.

Next meltdown came when a little ghoul and a red power ranger ran smack into each other at a full gallop, resulting in both of them landing hard on the concrete. Tried the old, "aw, shake it off, buddy" but that didn't work. Had to hold my little ranger while he cried big, big tears and the whole gathering ogled the whiny new kid on the block. Ok, so maybe they didn't ogle. Maybe they didn't even notice. This is my story, I can say what I want. They ogled.

Last meltdown of the evening came when we were headed home to get ready for the highlight of the evening: trick-or-treating!!! Woo hoo! Ah. Not so much.

Walking home LM announced that he didn't want to go trick-or-treating. I can't even begin to relate the entire conversation - just sufice it to say that you can't rationalize with a 4-year old power ranger. In the house now and the tears are flowing freely. Daddy sends LM to his room and tells him when he's finished crying, he can come down and they'd go out to get some candy.

Just a few minutes pass. The tears are still there, but he's stopped crying. He's ready to go!
So, out the door they go; First Time Trick-or-Treating! He practices by turning around, ringing our doorbell and shouting, "Trick-or-Treat!!!!!!" with a big smile on his face.

I'm left to hand out candy here at home. Between trips to the door, I spy the days report sheet from LM's preschool teacher. So, I pick it up to read about my little guys day:

  • Ate all his lunch. That's good.
  • Painted pumpkins and decorated them to look like bats. That's original!
What's that?
  • Nap time.
Hmmm. Well, usually it says how long he slept...um...nope, not today.
What's that, no nap today?
  • Halloween party. Instead!??!!?

Well, I guess that answers that. Even power rangers need a nap. Especially 4 year old power rangers.

Now, for the rest of the story.......
Daddy and LM come home after hitting around 12 houses, maybe. Little man is pooped! The costume comes off and he sits down with me in the comfy chair to snuggle a little. With his little head resting on my shoulder, he asked me if I'd take his socks off for him. I say, sure sweetie. Socks off now, I look down to kiss his forehead and he's out like a light. Two seconds flat. Couldn't have been any more than that.
Power rangers sure are cute when they fall asleep snuggled up next to their mommy.

Please don't go

He's going to move out. Yep. That's what he said.

I don't remember now what brought it on, but he made the announcement on Friday night. We were all in the living room, enjoying a quiet night at home when someone's feelings were hurt or something. It's all a blur, really. I've always heard that the mind can kind of protect you by shutting out memories that cause incredible pain. Maybe this is an example of that, I don't know.

I remember it being very cold. And raining. In fact, it rained all day last Friday. The wind was blowing so hard outside that the neighbors' Halloween pumpkin blew across their yard, into the street and landed in the storm water drain over on our side of the road. Kind of an eerie sight in the dark, cold rain. Pumpkin lying on its side, facing the cars as they passed; strange, smiling face with dark, dark eyes. But, I digress.

I'm sitting in my chair, trying to keep warm. Hubby is beside me. Words were said. Someone voices their displeasure at said words. Tears shed.

"I'm leaving. I'm going to leave this house!"

"Where are you going to go?"

"I don't know, I'm just leaving. I'm taking my stuff and going".

Tears flowing openly now.

"You can't leave; it's raining and very cold outside."

"Yes I can, I'll get my warm clothes and pillow and blankets and stuff and I'm going somewhere else!"

Ok, so the 'warm clothes' comment almost did me in.

"Well, we'll see you later. Come give me a kiss and a hug".

"NO! I'm going and you can't have a kiss."

"Ok, but you can't take your toys. The toys stay here."

Much wailing and gnashing of teeth. And falling down on the floor and whining.

"Yes I can! I wanna take my toys! My toys! I want my toys too!!!"

"Nope, but if you stay you can have your toys"

Sniff. Sniff. Tears dry up a little. Watery blue eyes with eyelashes all stuck together, runny nose, quivering chin....... he's thinking about it. Weighing his options......

Toys win.

He stays.

Mommy and Daddy are so glad.

Me, me, me! It's all about me!

Got suckered into doing one of those surveys online. This time I thought it was a cute idea, so I sent it out to my friends and family to see what kind of responses I'd get from those that, ahem, know me best. Hrmph.
Look for my comments in bold.

Instructions: Okay, this one is different - this is funny. YOU fill in the blanks
about ME and send it back to ME. But FIRST send a blank one out to
all your friends, including me, so we can return the favor to you.
Be honest. They're really SCARY to get back. It only takes a few
minutes, so just do it! First send (forward) this survey to everyone
you know to see how well he or she knows you. Second, hit 'reply'
and fill this survey out about the person who sent it to you and
send it back to to me.

(my mom's response…….you'd think she'd have all the answers right, right?)

Where did we meet? RMC
Take a stab at my middle name? Jean
Do I smoke? No
Color of my eyes? Brown
Do I have any siblings? 1 sister
What's one of my favorite things to do? cuddle w/ Ben
What's my favorite type of music? Soft jazz (huh? soft jazz? where'd that come from?)
Am I shy or outgoing? outgoing
Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules? follow the rules (uh, yeah.)
Any special talents? drawing, singing
How many children do I have? 1 boy
If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what is one thing
that I would bring? Ben

(my beautiful 'baby' cousin Kellie's responses)

Where did we meet? Probably the hospital or something when I was born... I don't really remember!
Take a stab at my middle name? Jean, or **** whichever (deleted, tmi :)
Do I smoke? nope
Color of my eyes? Green? (uh, naw)
Do I have any siblings? duh! a twin sister!
What's one of my favorite things to do? Play with your little man!
What's my favorite type of music? Country and Contemporary Christian
Am I shy or outgoing? outgoing
Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules? I can remember a time or two that you were a rebel, but mostly a rule follower. (that's enough.....we'll talk later.)
Any special talents? Beautiful voice, and you know a thing or two about buttholes, you know with the whole nursing thing and all (uh, everybody remember that I'm a GI nurse, right? oh, I guess she could be referring to the doctors I have to work with....either way, yes, I do know a thing or two about buttholes.)
How many children do I have? 1, and he is the most handsome, sweetest little man in the whole world! (beautiful lady speaketh truth)
If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what is one thing
that I would bring? food I hope-- or a hairdryer! (hee hee)

(my lovely twin seester's responses – who, next to our mother, should have all the right answers…..right?.....mmm hmmm, yeah) (oh, and yes, she is a freakin' lunatic.)

Where did we meet? In our womb. (um, our womb?)
Take a stab at my middle name? :::stab!::: Got it! (ugh)
Do I smoke? Well, that's a matter of opinion...you're CUTE...but smokin'? I dunno...
Color of my eyes? same as mine.
Do I have any siblings? Yes, the most incredible sister in the entire world. (humble, much?)
What's one of my favorite things to do? Read e-mails from your incredible sister. (oy)
What's my favorite type of music? Your incredible sister singing. (uh, not so much.)
Am I shy or outgoing? oh, shy, of course...BOO! See? You jumped...
Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules? You follow the rebel rules....and get suspended from school for wearing your flag on an Alabama t-shirt. (uh, it was ISS and it wasn't just a flag, it was the rebel flag, and it was a teeny-tiny rebel flag in the shape of the great state of Alabama on a huge U.S. outline…..and I wasn't the only one. And we made the 6:00 news. And we got free pizza. So there.)
Any special talents? Which definition of "special"?
How many children do I have? 2. A tall one and a short one.
If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what is one thing
that I would bring? hopefully a cell phone!!!

(this is from my friend Barbara – she's crazy too, but strangely, got all the questions right.)

Where did we meet? Church
Take a stab at my middle name? Jean
Do I smoke? no
Color of my eyes? brown
Do I have any siblings? yep
What's one of my favorite things to do? spend time with family
What's my favorite type of music? christian/country
Am I shy or outgoing? depends on the person
Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules? follow the rules
Any special talents? has a BEAUTIFUL voice!!!
How many children do I have? one precious blue eyed boy
If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what is one thing
that I would bring? bible and some lipstick

(yet another member of my psychotic family, my crazy Aunt Charlene)

Where did we meet? after your surprise arrival of coming in twos....at grandma's house cause I wasn't allowed to go to the hospital (mama didn't know until we were born that she was having twins - that was back in the middle ages when there were no ultrasounds....and aunt lene couldn't go to the hospital to see us because she was too young.....or she had some communicable disease, or some such....)
Take a stab at my middle name? Jean
Color of my eyes? brown
Do I have any siblings? above mentioned other of 'twos'
What's one of my favorite things to do? spend time with TSBIGA (the sweetest boy in Georgia – abbreviated for obvious reasons…)
What's my favorite type of music? depends on your mood, but mostly country
Am I shy or outgoing? both
Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules? both
Any special talents? sings like an angel
How many children do I have? above mentioned TSBIGA
If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what is one thing
that I would bring? coffee and chocolate (true, true.)

(lastly, my other crazy Aunt Teresa, or Teesa to all....)

Where did we meet? Like I wrote for your sister while ago, the first time I met you was at RMC, and you were crying and screaming your head off, and you weren't very pretty at the time!!!
Take a stab at my middle name? Well, since it is a family name on your Dad's side, I hope I can get it right when I say "JEAN!!"
Do I smoke? Only when you walk too fast!!! lol :)
Color of my eyes? You are like your sister on that one, your eyes are dark brown!!! A brown eyed blonde!!! Or you used to be!! Lol (excuse me, but I'm still a blonde, thankyouverymuch)
Do I have any siblings? I think you had a twin, but seeing as how it is Toni, is she a sibling? And does she know that's what she is??? (oh, yes. I think she knows......mm hmm)
What's one of my favorite things to do? Go to the beach and play with Ben, maybe???
What's my favorite type of music? Like your Mama, sister, cousins, and aunts, you like George Strait, but I think you still like the type of music that was popular when you were a teenager!!! Am I shy or outgoing? I would say that you are outgoing. I told Toni that I thought she was both, but with you, I think you got brass balls, babe!! Lol (thanks!)
Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules? You mostly follow the rules, unless you don't want to, then you go your own way! (yep, it's all about me. Remember that.)
Any special talents? You can sing and draw, but I don't think you want to make a living doing either of them.
How many children do I have? You have the one beautiful little boy, that is spoiled rotten, and nobody seems to know why! (I certainly had nothing to do with it!)
If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what is one thing
that I would bring? Like your Mama, sister, cousins and aunts, you would stock up on chocolate! (true, true)

So, there ya go. Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask.


Got this question/comment from my sweet, soon to be 17 year old, 'neice'. She had read the blog I posted about Life, Love and Loss. Following is what I responded to her......
I think she'll be a great nurse.

aunt teri, how u doin? dont get to talk to u that much, but i thought ud like to know im gonna be a r.n. too. um, when u do lose a patient how does it affect u? i mean that's the major thing im worried about. suprisingly, i have a heart and im afraid it would just shatter if i lost someone. how do u deal with it?

Hey, sweetie. I didn't know that! Congrats on deciding! I've been a nurse now for um, almost 20 years and I can remember every single patient that I've had that has died. Believe it or not, it hasn't been that many, but they all were memorable.I have no question that you have a heart. I think you're awesome and your heart is too.

You'll find yourself after a while noticing that you have a bit of a shell formed. Not too hard a shell, but a shell all the same. It makes it easier to keep the enormity of what you experience from day to day from effecting you so much. The shell is sometimes disguised as humor - some awful things can be tough to bear and your humor will get you through. Medical folks have a wicked sense of humor - along with the ability to sit at the lunch table together, telling absolutely disgusting stories while eating a bologna sammich! :p

I've worked on several codes over the years and while I'm involved, I'm thinking about what the person means to the folks he/she is close to. Is she a grandma? Is someone waiting at home for him to get out of the hospital? Does he fish? Like to cook? Whats so tough is to see the work going on around the patient and then seeing the patient - where just a heartbeat before, they may have been talking, or whatever, and the next minute they're being worked on to literally save their life. Whatever that life may have been, good or bad, it's a life.

I also say a prayer. Every time.
I wonder if, like in the movies, the 'spirit' of the person is up above me, looking down. I absolutely know that at that time, the spirit of God may be in that room, and He's there to take that person home. Are there angels in the room? Ready to lead the way? I hope that's the case. I hope that the patient has had a saving relationship with the Father. What a beautiful thought that the person we're working on is now in the arms of our holy Father and we're just going through the motions, doing what we can until someone calls the code finished.

So, to sum it up. Yes, you'll be shattered. But you'll get through. And you'll remember every single person. You'll remember and you'll know that you did absolutely everything in your power but to no avail. And you'll pray. And maybe look up in the corner of the room and see the fleeting vision of heaven open up to welcome one of God's children home. And you'll remember.
I love you, kiddo.
Aunt Teri

Sushi, anyone?**

Ugh. Had a most enjoyable morning. Thanks for asking. Got up at 5am to get ready for work as usual on this rainy Friday morning, but soon after the first sip of (heaven sent) coffee, I - excuse the tmi here - had to go potty. Ah, yeah.

So 30 minutes later, I decide I should call into work to let them know that I might just possibly be a wee bit late. Made my way upstairs to get ready and woo hoo, here we go again. 15 minutes later I'm back on the phone waving the white flag. Nope, this gal ain't gonna make it in today.

Go straight for the medicine cabinet. Um.....Immodium? Anyone, anyone?

There it is. When did these things become horse-pills? Anyway, pop a couple and go back to the bedroom to plant myself back in the bed. Since the daddy has been out of town, I've had a visitor in my bed. An early riser, no less. Guess who's awake and watching 'Wow Wow Wubbzy'. Loverly.

Smile......."I'm hungry, mommy". gag

"Ok, sweetie, what do you want for breakfast?" gag/bleckh

"I want waffles without the chocolate* and chocolate". ugh

Smile......."Mommy, why don't you fix you somefing and me somefing and bring it up on a tray? gag

"Oh, sweetie, mommy feels like she'll throw up or crap her pants if she puts anything remotely like food in her mouth, but thanks."
Well, ok, that's what I thought in my head. What I really said was, "Mommy's not hungry right now, sweetie, but I'll fix your waffles and chocolate and bring it up for you." I'm sweet like that.

So, down the stairs again. My guts are having a great time. I've never had an alien in my gut, but I think this morning I can relate. Something is going on down there, and it ain't good.

Back up the stairs with little Lord Fauntleroy's breakfast tray, climb back into bed and pray he doesn't want another waffle. Soon, breakfast is finished and little man says the most wonderful words in the whole wide world......"mommy, I'm still sleepy." Ahhhh. I love this kid.
Lights off, tv off, covers up and it's back to sleep for both of us.

*I buy an assortment of frozen waffles for quick breakfasts for little man. One of the most recent purchases was a waffle that's half chocolate, half vanilla. Disgusting. But he eats it and it's supposedly 'fortified'. Whatever. So, when he asked me for a waffle without the chocolate, he means a plain waffle. The second chocolate is chocolate milk, of course. What else would you drink with a waffle and syrup but chocolate milk? gaaaaaagg

**Oh, forgot to explain the sushi, anyone? title. Yesterday evening I took my visiting in-laws to a local sushi place. Nope, never been there before, but everyone that is anyone says it's the best in town. Blah, blah, blah. Not sure if that's what cause my GI distress or not, but I'd be willing to bet it had a hand in it..........

One time, at band camp....

Beautiful day today. Nice and breezy, a little overcast, cool. Had the screen door and windows open to enjoy it all. So nice.

Have I mentioned we live within spittin' distance to a high school? No? Well, we do.

Oh, did I mention we live within spittin' distance to a high school with a marching band? No? Well, we do.

And, did I mention we live within spittin' distance to a high school with a marching band that practices every stinkin' day? All. Day. Long.

Now, I really, really love marching bands - not as much as my sweet seester, but hey, that's a given: she's a band nerd - but I do enjoy watching them march and listening to them play their music. But, please.

Oh, we can't see the field; there's houses and a major roadway and lots of trees betwixt our house and the school....but, by gum (!) we can certainly hear every note played. To top it off, the band director has a microphone that blasts his every verbal utterance over the amplifiers at the football field. Arggghhh.

So, today while we enjoyed the lovely weather, we also got to enjoy the band play basically the same thing over and over and over and over. All.Day.Long.
Not sure what they were doing wrong, but for some reason, the director made them play it repeatedly.
And we got to listen to it repeatedly. Oh, and btw, it sounded exactly the same every single time they played it. Every single time.

First love

Well, it's official. My little man has a girlfriend. Other than me, that is. Oh, he intends to marry me though - he asked me, and I said yes - so this little floozy is obviously just a fling until the time comes for our wedding.

Yes, he informed me of his new significant other very casually the other day. Not sure what brought it up, but he told me that he, indeed, had found another. Naturally, I was shocked.
And a little jealous. Seems this little heartbreaker is in his class at school. I guess I should have known this would eventually happen, but I never realized it would come so soon.

Don't know a lot about her, but I do know her name. Jadyn.
She's very,very cute. And blonde.
With wispy curls. Long, wispy, blonde curls.
And blue eyes. Cute, long, blonde wispy curls, blue eyes.
And short. Roughly the same height as little man.
Just the right height to see face to face.
Blue-eyes to blue-eyes.
Nose to nose.
egad!!!! Lips to lips. AGHH!

My son, my sweet baby boy. Tells me in one short sentence that he has a girlfriend and that he *gasp* gave her a "kiss real". I'm assuming a "kiss real" means a real kiss in little man speak. When I asked him where he gave his kiss real, he said "on the playground." not exactly what I meant.......
So, I asked him again and he grinned, got shy and pointed to his mouth. His mouth!!!!!

Floozy. Jezebel.

What's a girl to do? My heart is broken.

Bedtime meltdown

Bed time. Last night. Little man cuddled up next to me whilst I tried to read him a story. He wanted the story, but he didn't really want to sit still or be quiet while I read the story. But, I tried. Till I gave up.

He sees the pennant bearing his name up on his bedroom wall. Benjamin.
He says, "That's not my name".
Well, true, we rarely ever call him by his full name; it's always been just Ben.
(or buddy, or little man, or puppy, or sweetie, or stinkyface…etc.)
I thought that he might be a little confused about what it said - he's only 4 and as such, doesn't read. Yet.
So, I read it to him, spelling out each of the letters for him and telling him when I finished that Benjamin is his name - his full name. Little did I know that a meltdown was imminent. Just out of the blue.

He looked right into my eyes and said that he's, "no good at anyfing."
Big, big blue eyes filled with tears and all the heartbreak a little boy could have, came spilling out.

"I can't do anyfing, and I can't write my letters, and I don't know anyfing."


"I'm mean."

What?! Um, I'm stumped already trying to understand where all the - I can't do anything stuff - came from, and then he says he's mean?? Understand that he is absolutely NOT mean (*) and his abilities with his letters and writing are exactly where they should be for a 4 year old. So, I asked him who told you that you were mean? He said, "Armond." Ok. Well, one question answered. I'm thinking then that tomorrow I'll just have to go (hunt down this little twerp Armond, and who names their kid Armond, anyway??? and show him what mean is.....) have a little talk with little man's teacher and see what might be behind my baby's bed time meltdown.

*case in point: Just last night, we went over to the local playground to let little man burn off some energy. While there, he made friends with a much smaller and very cute little girl while on the slide. Little girl lost her flip flops as she was coming down the slide, so my sweet, sweet little boy knelt down, picked them up and waited for her. When she made it to the bottom, he put them on for her. Isn't that the sweetest?!? Is that the heart of a mean child? I think not! Case closed.

Brought sweetest hubby into the conversation at some point; we both gave little man mucho, mucho assurances that he was, indeed, the sweetest boy on the planet, and he could do anyfing, (that word is driving my spell-checker absolutely crazy, btw) and that he was very smart and we were very, very proud of him. Meltdown contained.

This morning, spoke with teacher for just a few minutes and relayed the story. Her opinion of his abilities mirrors ours; she says he's doing great and that of course he needs to work on his writing. Um, the whole class does! She rolled her eyes at the comment from the twerp. She did say that her "helper" in the classroom does have a problem with tact from time to time, and if she perhaps had said anything to him, she'd address that. She also had a plan to talk to little man one on one today to see what he told her. So, we'll see what the day brings.

Oh, and twerp, you don't know mean. Yet.

leavin' on a jetplane

Right at this very moment, the sweetest hubby in the world is in the air; travelling halfway around the world to Finland. Land of saunas and smoked fish for breakfast. He's scheduled to be there through the rest of the week, coming back home on Saturday. Little man and mommy are missing him already.

Godspeed, sweetie.

and the weiner is.....Tartersauce!

Yippee! The mailman has delivered my prize!

A week, um, two weeks ago, maybe? Anyway, yours truly was the big weiner on a blog that I sometimes visit. Ok, yeah, so I was randomly picked by a computer program, whatevah. Doesn't matter. I won. And my prize??? An ever-so-yummy-and-free-Starbuck's gift card!!
Got to connect with the author and creator, Kelly, via email. Hey, she's the first person I've ever met from Indiana! How bout that? And, she wants to be a nurse too - in fact, she's in school right now. Yep, she's obviously demented.
Thanks, Kelly, for the gift. Good luck with your dream!

Breakfast Plans

Time for bed.
Good night kisses and hugs given.
Snuggles and cuddles.
Lights out.
Covers up.

Stalling tactics begin.

"Mommy, in the mornin' after sleepy-time, do you fink you can make me some eggs and toast for breffast?"

Sure baby, I'll make you whatever you want for breakfast. Now it's time to go to sleep. Shhh.

"Mommy, when you make my eggs and toast, do you fink you can call me and wake me up and tell me it's time for breffast?"

Um, yeah, sweetie. I can call you for breakfast. Do you mean just call you from downstairs and wake you up? note how his diabolical plan is working - mommy has already forgotten that she JUST said shh, and go to sleep....keep her talking......
So, you want me to let you sleep while I fix your breakfast and then call you to come eat? must clarify plans, God forbid that I get a step wrong in the morning

"yes, Mommy-sweet-roses." that's my new name, btw. He's evil, I tell you......evil!!!!!

Ok, baby. Mommy will fix breakfast and call you to come downstairs to eat. Now, go to sleep.
You're mommy's sweet angel....'night night.

"night Mommy-sweet-roses."

Fast-forward this morning. 7 am.
Child wakes up first. Starts wiggling, but very quiet. hmmm. Could mommy sweet roses crack open one eye before being caught? Nope. Not a chance.

*smile* Whisper: "mornin', mommy", "can we get up now?"

Mm hm. You still want me to fix you breakfast and call you, since you're already awake and all?

"um, yeah, but, can you fix my eggs and toast and put it on a tray and bring it up here? you can fix me some chocolate and sit with me and we can watch my shows".
"does that sound like a good idea?"

Sounds like an excellent idea. So that's exactly what I did.
He's evil, and he has me brainwashed.


Ah. Um, so I have to take back everything I said about little man and this new found love he has with our new hometown.
Amazing the difference in 24 hours.

Left for school yesterday morning after much crying, whining, fussing, pleading...you get the idea. Someone did not want to go to school. I'm sure the culprit was in his not getting enough sleep and just being overly tired (mommy relaxes the bedtime when daddy is out of town) - (mommy always seems to forget that she will have heck to pay for this little bit of insanity).

So, we're up and I'm trying my best to get little man fed, dressed, teeth brushed, hair combed and out the door; all the while listening to, "but I don't want to go to school!" and, "I don't like my school!" and, "I want to stay home wif you!"
He sees that I'm in my scrubs, so you'd think he'd realize I'm not staying home today either, but I guess that's too much to expect for him to put two and two together on this particular morning. Out the door, his feet dragging to the car; begging and pleading now (me) and into the car we go. I'm trying my best to understand and rationalize with him, when I think - compassion. So, I ask him if I don't go to work, who's gonna take care of all the sick people at the hospital that need me?
Completely quiet from the back seat. Nothing for a few seconds....but his wheels are turning, I can hear 'em. Oh yeah.

He pulls out the big guns.

"But Mommy, I need you."

Yep. He's better at this than I am. He plays me like a piano. I'm a sucker - but not today.

At the school, I come around to let him out of the car - only slightly whining now. He's dropped his bomb so I guess he thought a quiet whine would have the best effect.
Big hug at the car door and an offer to carry him inside made it all better. I did not cave in. I scooped my 40+ pounder up, along with the twenty other things that had to be carried in, and walked into the school.
Another big hug, kiss and an I love you in his classroom and I was out the door. He was fine.

Me? Not so much.

I guess we're here to stay.

I've had the pleasure to have a few 'deep' conversations with my little man in the car - either on the way to school, or on the way home from school regarding our recent move to the big city.
I'll admit, I had a few problems with this move - mainly the packing up of all our worldly possessions from a house we loved, leaving a town we'd come to consider home, leaving the most loving church 'family', jobs, friends, neighbors, etc. So, yes, needless to say, I had a tough time of it for a little while. I'm still working through it, day by day, but things are a bit better. (better living through chemicals? hmm, Tom?)
Well, the capper for me was the feelings I had regarding how little man would take all these changes. I had horrible anxiety about how he would be able to cope in a new school, with new teachers, new routine, new friends, new everything. I've said it mannnny times before that he's much better at new things than I am - he does tend to leap forward with both feet, never looking back; but I know how much he loved being at his 'old school', his old church, his old house - everything. So, with trepidation, we went forward, hoping for the best.
Back to the conversations I referred to above. Several went - not so well. Mostly a little boy who didn't understand why he couldn't go back to Ms. Joy's class; where his friends were. A little boy who didn't understand why we wouldn't be going back to our old house, our old church, our old routine. My heart ached for him when he'd say he wanted to go back, because some of the times, during the conversations in the car, I felt the same way. But, we felt that this was what God had planned for us, so like it or not (at times, still) we were in it for the long haul.
Fast forward to this morning. Sweetest hubby is out of town for the week, so it's just me and little man. We were running late, (as usual) and I was trying my best to make it through the neighborhood without running over any tennis-mom or dog-walking dad on my way to his school and my work, when from the back seat came the sweetest voice saying something like, "Mom, I like this neighborhood."
"I like these houses, they're pretty."
And, "I like my school."


First thing: when did he start calling me Mom? I'm still Mommy. I think. Anyway.
Second thing: Huh? When did he make this discovery? Was it like Bam! Everything is ok? Or, did it creep up on him, little by little?

Couldn't get any more information out of the little guy, he clammed up after the last comment. I guess I'll have to wait till the next car ride conversation. Maybe he can tell me how I can come to the same conclusions.

living for something

This is something I wrote a little while back on my myspace profile, just thought I'd pass it on.

Had two interesting patients in the two days I've worked this week. Don't get to spend an awful lot of time with my patients anymore due to the fast-paced nature of our department, but sometimes it only takes a minute or two to learn an awful lot.

This morning, I met a wonderful 80-something LOL (little old lady). Cute as a button; sitting up in the bed waiting for her colonoscopy. After checking her armband to make sure we had all the info correct and make sure we had the right patient for the procedure; my partner today, Kim, noted to her that she - "has a birthday coming up!" She smiled like a child and said, "Yep! And I've been married 58 years!" We were both floored....imagine, in today's day and age 58 years! Wow. So, of course, we asked her The Secret. She said, "Well, I just let him get his toys from time to time and it just takes care of itself."
I said we kinda follow that same rule around my house; then I told her my sweet hubby had just bought himself a new amplifier for his guitar - even though he had an amplifier already. She laughed and said, "Well my hubby just bought himself a 1987 convertible Mercedes-Benz".
Guess the older you are and the longer you're married, the boy's toys are bigger. Great.
Her colonoscopy was fine, by the way.

Yesterday, we had a man exactly my age come in for a procedure. Same scenario as above. When I noticed he still had his wedding band on, I asked him if it would come off. (you'd be surprised how many people can't get their rings off!) He said, "I think it will, yes, but....", then immediately started to choke up a little. The man sitting at his bedside said, "Hang in there, buddy" as our patient gave him his wedding band. I had no idea.

So, as we're wheeling him back to the procedure room he says, "My wife died 3 weeks ago".
He said, "I'm sorry, it's just that the last time I was here, I was with her." I took a second to peek at his armband again and remembered.
We did the procedure on his wife. We diagnosed her cancer. She found out that day she had colon cancer and that it was bad; and she found out soon after that, that the cancer had metastasized to her liver, pancreas and there was no hope. No hope.

She lasted maybe a month from diagnosis to death. He was having this colonoscopy for his kids.
His colonoscopy was normal, too. Thank God.

Barbie suitcase?

So, I go to pick up little man at pre-k yesterday afternoon, and find waiting beneath his cubby, a Barbie suitcase. With a note. From his teacher.

This month at school, his class theme "All About Me". The project for each kid in the class will be to take the suitcase home, and bring it back in two days with it chock full of anything that defines them: things they like, things that make them special/unique. Then, they'll share everything with the class. Little man was completely over the moon about the suitcase and the project, in fact, when we got home, he pulled it out of the car and said, "I'm gonna start now!"

Well, I've got ideas in my head of the things that represent/define him to me; but when we walked in the house, he went straight to one of the baskets under the coffee table (that I got at Target, and really think are the cutest......anyway.) and started pulling out toy after toy after toy, to fill his suitcase.

I think he did pretty well, actually, with the toys that he pulled out......
Spiderman mask.....if you know him, you understand.
Bumble bee.......from happy meal at Het*.
Train/locomotive......his sweet Aunt ToniMac gave him.
Spongebob......well, because he's the man.
White Power Ranger......newest hero and idol, thanks to Nanny.
Black Spiderman......old standby.
Bobble-head Star Wars creature from yet another happy meal.......no comment
Red Power Ranger......again, thanks to Nanny.
Optimus Prime........because he's Cool.
Microphone..........certainly not for volume control, that's fer shure.
Bob the Tomato........another old standby.
Can o' Flarp.........because fart sounds are just the funniest thing to a 4 year old.
Super Cool Sheriff Deputy Badge.......because he rules the roost around here -truly.

So, as I'm sitting here going through this Barbie suitcase filled with these treasures, I can see in my head, the picture of him going through the basket and the built-in cabinet in the living room. Pieces and parts of toys - all sorts and sizes - probably hundreds of things that he's collected over the past 3-4 years. Most of the stuff he doesn't even play with anymore, but he took the time yesterday to sit and sort through it to find things that he deems as special enough to take to school to show his friends.

And in my head, I can remember times with each of these toys. And a little man. With an imagination and energy to bring each and every one of them to life; for himself and the luckiest mommy and daddy in the world.

*het is a shortened version of our name for McDonalds = HetMcDonalds. It's been HetMcDonalds since little man started talking.....we think maybe it's because someone once said something like "At McDonald's", but he heard "hetmcdonalds". So, it stuck. It's Het.

Hi, I'm your new neighbor.

Arrrggh. Ok. I'm not the social butterfly I appear to be. Heh.

So, we're new here: in this town, in this subdivision Ok, so I'm still considering us as new here. It's less than a year, so we're still new. Right? Anyway. I'm not real good in most social situations where I don't know anyone, I just don't feel comfortable. Gimme a group of folks I know, and I can have a great time - completely comfortable. Not a worry in the world.
But plop me down in the middle of a group that I don't know and I feel completely out of my element.

Tonight our street had its annual Labor Day get-together. I felt obliged to go, for a couple of reasons. I've been feeling guilty that we haven't attended any of the other little get togethers that have been scheduled. I want to get to know my neighbors and have friends here; and most importantly - little man needs to get to know his neighbors too and hopefully find a buddy or twelve to play with...so, for the little man, I went. I unfolded, stretched out and dusted off my butterfly wings and we took off down the street.

Now, needless to say - but I will - I felt quite conspicuous coming down the street - just me and the kiddo. The sweet hubby was up to his knees in yard work, so he couldn't go. Little man wanted to ride his bike, so I got him all safety-helmeted-up and we headed down the driveway. As we left the driveway, we both realized (a little late) that the street has a pretty good downhill slope to it - funny, I never noticed it went downhill - until little man started to rocket past me. Did he remember how to apply the brakes? Oh, sure. Well, he got off the bike, and I got to pull it alongside me. Now, back to the conspicuous part. So, here we come around the curve of the street to the cul-de-sac, just me and LM. The party is obviously in full swing by now, so EVERYONE on the street is there. And here we come. Kinda hard to make a quiet entrance with a 4 year old in a bicycle helmet, who is excited beyond belief at his first look at the inflatable in the front yard. Had I not controlled him, he would have run ahead and left me, the social butterfly, to walk up alone. Ugh.

Now, once we got there and I got the helmet off and the bike put away, I let him loose. It's so easy for him - just go headfirst and see what happens. So then, I too, head to the inflatable where my little 'just jump right in the middle of it all' kid is. There I see a couple from two doors down, so I force myself over to talk to them - went very well, I think. Very nice. But then what? Can I commandeer you guys for the rest of the evening???? Nah. I knew that wouldn't work, so I had to try again. And again. And again.

All in all, I guess it went ok. But, if I hadn't made the first steps, again and again; I wouldn't have had a soul to talk to. Once or twice, the person I'd be talking to would have to go handle something or other - like a crying kid or whatever - so I'd find myself wandering over to the inflatable under the guise of checking on LM.....just so I wouldn't be standing in the middle of some un-named neighbors' yard alone.

I'm soooo uncomfortable, and oh yeah, I'm sure I hid it sooooo well, but yet, no one came running to my side to help me out. What's the deal? There were several groups sitting or standing around, and I barged into one or two, but sheesh! Can't you see I don't know a soul and you guys are not making it any easier for me? Everyone there knew everyone there - but me.

I really hope it'll get better and easier. These folks are very nice, I just have to get over my social anxiety and just go for it, like the LM does.

But, man. Things were so much easier when we were hermits and lived in the woods.

Belly aches and accidents

Yesterday afternoon, I got a call from little man's pre-K teacher saying that he'd had a couple of "accidents" and he'd been complaining that his tummy hurt; so, I hopped in the car to pick him up around 1:30 or so. Got him home, settled him onto the comfy chair with the remote and 'his shows', then went to throw the noxious evidence of his sick tummy (clothes) into the wash. One word. Yuck.

He' s been battling a sick tummy since Tuesday, when he got up saying his tummy hurt. Had him sit on the potty before school, with good results, thankyouverymuch. Called the hospital to tell them I was dealing with a potential sick kid, and that I'd either be late, or not be coming in at all. Then, I snuggled with the potential sick kid for a while in the comfy chair to see if there were any more problems, or episodes. After 30 minutes or so with nothing, I asked him how he felt.
"I feel good."
"You want to go to school now?"

So, off we go. Actually, he wanted his daddy to take him, so off they went and off I went to the hospital. Fast forward to late Tuesday afternoon. I'm checking my cell phone to see if I had any important calls or whatever (yeah, right. I'm such a social butterfly....) and I see that I have a message from the school. Great. That's never good.

So, I'm circling down the parking garage - floor by floor - all the while trying not to crash because I'm fumbling with my blasted phone trying to get to my voicemails. Yep, you guessed it. Little man had had several accidents and they were out of clean clothes, could we come pick him up a little early? Now, mind you, it's now 4:50. I had to work a little over, normally I get off at 4. Of all the days that I needed to get off on time (or early) this was one. But, it didn't happen.

Two things: 1)I don't carry my phone with me in the department - too much potential nasty stuff for it to fall into......nuf' said. And, 2)If they needed me to come get him early, WHY didn't they call me at work? Or the Daddy at work???

So, all I could think about was what my poor little guy was doing about clothes (is he nekkid???), and he was really sick and I'd made him go to school, and am I the worst mommy in the world????

When I got to the school, he looked like a little orphan. But a happy little orphan. No, he didn't look, nor act, sick at all. In fact, when I got there, he and two other kids were playing swords with these dowel thingys - um, can we say, not a good idea??? Anywho, since they'd gone through all his clean clothes, they'd given him some out of the lost and found, or somewhere. But, bless his heart, he had on a pair of shorts that were too short - fit in the waist, but waay short; girls maybe? and an Oshkosh long-sleeved t-shirt that on him, looked like 3/4 length sleeves.

But, you know what the first thing he said to me was? Well, after "MOMM!!", he said, "Look at my NEW clothes!!!!" He was thrilled!

What a kid.

Vitamin Ben

Was able to see my little man in action this morning in his Pre-K class (without having to go all undercover....y'know - hiding behind door-frames, peeking around corners, etc.).

This week, little man has been crowned "Teachers Helper" -- with all the glory and responsibility that goes along with such a highly decorated and coveted title. So, before I left to go home and wonder what to do with myself all day; little man asked me if I would stay for a little while while he led the class in reciting the days of the week and the months of the year (in both Spanish and English, mind you). Then, they did the Pledge of Allegiance (oh yes, they did!) Woo hoo! The full version, not the watered down, leave "under God" out, PC version.
Now, he, nor any of his classmates, got it completely right, but they sure tried. It was too cute.

What just melted me (yes, I leave little puddles of myself wherever I am, it seems, when dealing with this kids' toxic, kryptonite cuteness) was how proud he was to be up in the front of the class -being the one to lead them - and the fact that his Mommy was there to see it all. To see the smile on his face was just the greatest. I felt my face completely reflecting that smile and I hope he could see how proud I was of him. I know, I know, it wasn't brain surgery; but hey, he's only 4 and this is a big deal!

So, there. There's your dose of cuteness to get you through the day. It cures what ails ya.

Good morning, mommy

This morning, just like every morning, I'm got a sweet early morning hug and kiss from the sweetest boy in the world. All sleepy-eyed, scratchy voiced and warm from his bed; he's hanging onto his daddy's back before going downstairs to get breakfast and get ready for school.
Kisses and hugs and a "good morning, mommy", then he says, "Mommy, last night I had a dream about getting kisses on my lips from you." I melted. Right there on the floor. In a puddle.

This kid, this kid.


my sweet hubby

I've got the sweetest hubby in the world.

Don't believe me? Alrighty. Here's a few examples just from today:
*He got up this morning and made special pancakes for the little mans breakfast (because the little guy asked for them) then sat down to eat a cold bowl of Special K for himself.
*He helped me balance the checkbook....(numbers + me = trouble).
*He changed out the deadbolts on the doors so we don't have to use a key to open them - which, if you think about it, could be pretty dangerous - unless you wanted to keep the key in the lock at all times.....which we don't.
*He cleaned the bathrooms upstairs and down.
*He ate the supper I cooked. ('nuf said)

He did all this and more - and he's sick - or getting sick. Think he's either fighting allergies or has the beginnings of a cold or something. But, he still took care of us and never complained.

Ain't he sumpthin?

ooh, that smell

The sweetest boy in the world just tooted.

I'm sittin' here on the couch with the laptop, readin' some blogs, when I hear a sound, look up and over to where the sweetest one is sitting, to find him looking at me with a grin on his face. Immediately after, he covers this same sweet face with his hands and says, "something smells bad in here!"

First time smelling his own noxious creation. Priceless.

First Day

We made it. Both of us.
Picked up little man from his first day of pre-K yesterday afternoon - when I got there, I had a second or two of Mommy-peeping-tom-time to watch him in action. There he stood, with kids on both sides of him, bent over the munchkin-sized table putting a puzzle together. My little guy.

Well, my stalking time was over pretty quickly because I was caught by one of his classmates who yelled,
"Beee-innn! Your Maaa-uuuumm isth hee-rrr!" (extra syllables courtesy of a good, southern upbringing, thankyouverymuch)

He looked up and I could see that he didn't see me at first, but once he did, he dropped his puzzle pieces and ran across the room yelling, "Mommmy!!!!" Awwww. Does a mommy's heart good.

So, on the drive home, I asked him how he liked his first day of school. Did he have fun? Did he behave? Did he like his new teacher and new room and new classmates? Yes to all. And that's it. That's all I got.
Got the daily report from his homework folder (pre-K homework?!?) with information on what his class is working on and what their objectives were, etc. Shows he participated in everything, but that's about it. Nothing really personalized except the little blurb on the bottom of the page saying, "Ben had a good day, enjoyed story time and working in centers today".

Well, for the muchly-anticipated and muchly-dreaded, first day of pre-K; I guess everything went pretty ok. No one (read: me) ran screaming down the hall of the preschool, at least. Having a very busy day at the hospital yesterday, I didn't have much of a chance to think about what this new chapter in Ben's life meant for me (cuz it's all about me, y'know....) So, we survived. He's growing up. And there's not a thing I can do about it....and honestly, I wouldn't if I could.

My little man is doing great, thanks for asking. He's unbelieveably smart, wickedly funny, super-super sweet, compassionate/caring, ridiculously energetic, completely loving and full of joy. He's gonna be fine.

Thank you, Lord.
Well, we had a visitor in the bedroom. Of the lizard variety (actually, I think it's a skink?).
I spied it earlier in the day and tried my best to wrangle it out of the house, but, being faster than me (which isn't saying much....) it made it's way under the dresser and refused to budge. So, I left it to rot.

Later on I walked into the bedroom to get something, and came face to foot with the little bugger (his face, my feet). He had travelled across the bedroom to his new hiding place - under my bed. When I saw him again, he was just making his way out from under there, so we had a staring contest for a minute or two. Naturally, I called Ben in there to see it. It's not everyday a boy gets to see a real lizard in his mommy and daddy's bedroom, y'know....

Of course, Ben runs straight toward it; causing said lizard/skink to high-tail it back under the bed. Great. I'm destined to sleep with a lizard carcass under my bed?

Well, not being easily offended (obviously) Ben got down on his hands and knees, pulled up the bed skirt and said at the top of his lungs, "Wizzard! Where ARREE jew??" (had a little trouble with his y's and j's).

Then, "Wizzard!! COMMEEERRR!!"

Had I not recently emptied my bladder, I probably would have at that point......
I just wish we had cameras taping at the time....mighta won on America's Funniest.

Never caught the wizzard.

remembering, con'td.

Just got finished giving an emergency bath. Sitting here at the computer, I hear a little voice from behind me say, "What dat, Mommy?" Upon further inspection, I see something strongly resembling a pile of chocolate pudding on the kitchen floor. Knowing that I don't have any chocolate pudding in the house, but wishing that I did; I quickly jumped up to take a closer look.

Approximately 1/4 to 1/2 a cup of poopie in pile form somehow found itself on my kitchen floor.

Again, knowing for certain there is no chocolate pudding in the house and that I hadn't just relieved myself; for I felt no relief, I quickly made the assumption (cuz' I'm shmart like that) we'd had an Official Diaper Release. Not only had we had an ODR, but there had been entire Thigh to Foot Smearage. The worst kind.

Further investigation found that prior to the sweet voice asking the aforementioned question, there appeared to have been some 'pokeage'.
The index finger of the right hand had been used (best poking finger, obviously, as evidenced by it's priority use as Nose Picker).
Hence the emergency bath. Oh, the joys of Motherhood. Guess the question, "what dat, mommy?" is never something you really want to hear.
But, all clean and sweet smelling again now. Both of us.


Got a couple of stories I wanted to share from when little man was smaller.....entertain yourself while I go find a few......

Little boy, growing up

Four years ago, the sweetest hubby and me welcomed into our hearts and home a certain little blue-eyed baby boy - soon to become known as the sweetest boy in Georgia. For anyone and everyone close to us, and who've been touched by this super-duper-little perpetual-motion-machine; thank you for loving him as much as we do.
Next week - on August 11, to be exact; this same little guy will start Pre-K. Now, he's been in preschool and has completely mastered that....but this, well, this is a big step. For both of us. For all of us. (ok, probably bigger for me, the mommy, than him, the little man.....let's get real, here)
Before Ben was born/adopted, I was a full-time nurse. Monday-Friday, with some weekend call work. Not too bad. Kinda used to it. Enter the miraculous birth of the sweetest boy in Ga. I was able to take an almost 3 month "maternity leave". When that time was over, I thought I'd be able to drop this little bundle off at our church daycare and start right back to work, same as before. Nope. Not a chance.
Somehow, in such a short time, this little parasite had moved into my heart and taken over. The sweetest hubby, who is also the smartest hubby in the world and who understands me better'n anybody; knew that it was very important for me to be at home with my baby boy. So, my 'back to work full-time' lasted maybe a week. With my hubby's blessings, I was able to take a prn position in my department working only two days a week; no weekends and no holidays. (how great is that?) The rest of the week, I got to spend with my baby boy. What an unbelievable gift. Something I'll always treasure and something I'll never regret.
Amazing, though, how time flies.
Fast-forward to next week. Pre-K. Now, in just a few days, my little man will be heading off for 'school' -- 5 days a week. I'm still working part-time; when we moved to the Big City, I got a part-time job so I could still stay home with Ben a couple of days a week - and, again, sweetest hubby agreed and understood. (see a theme here? ain't he sumpthin?)
I new this day would come, I just didn't know it would be so soon.... we went shopping for school supplies this past weekend, and went out last night for new underwear and socks. Gotta have new underwear for big boy school. Power Rangers and Incredible Hulk. Spiderman has been put on the shelf for a little while. (don't worry, Spidey, you were the first- and the best - superhero, for my little superhero...)
So, it's off to school next week. For the first time, ever, my little boy will be without me for longer than he's with me. I can't decide if I want to just lock him up in the closet and keep him for myself....or let him go. I can't keep him from the bad things in the world, but I want to. I know, sheesh, it's just preschool. But things are tough out there for a kid!
I want to protect him from ever being hurt; physically or emotionally. I know kids can be so mean; even the ones that are supposed to be your friends. I want him to feel loved by his 'teachers', not to be treated as just another kid; I want him to keep his sweet, sweet spirit. I want him to keep his innocence and imagination. I want him to excel in everything he does - but not so much that he's not able to still have fun and have friends. I want him to learn and soak up everything around him.
Oh, there's a million and one things that I want for this little man. I want him to be happy. and secure. and safe. and feel loved. and wanted. and confident. and strong. and compassionate. and joyful. and forgiven. and saved. and loved. Loved.
Feeling a bit sad, but down deep inside, happy too.....because my little blue-eyed baby boy is growing up. Thanks for listening.

Ben's story

Once Upon a Time, in a not-so faraway kingdom and not-so long ago time, a man and a woman lived and wished and hoped and prayed for a baby they could love all for their very own, forever and ever....they wanted more than anything to be called Mommy and Daddy.
Many years came and went; but their wishes, their hopes and their prayers didn’t come to pass; for you see, this man and this woman weren’t able to have a baby on their own. But God knew the wishes and hopes and (most importantly) He heard all the way from Heaven - the prayers from this man and this woman.
Then, He made a miracle happen!

Somewhere in time, God made a secret plan! He decided that this man and this woman would be the perfect Mommy and Daddy for a very, very special little blue-eyed baby boy. But, in order for His wonderful and miraculous plan to be fulfilled, God had to bring together two young people, each from very different and very far-away parts of the world; to a big, big city with lots and lots of bright lights, and millions and millions of people. It took God only one night, but in that one night, a very, very special blue-eyed baby boy was created.

Time passed for the man and the woman: still wishing and hoping and praying for a baby; when one evening their phone rang. The woman answered the phone and a Nice Lady on the phone (one of God’s special angels on earth) told the man and woman about the birth of a very, very special blue-eyed baby boy, and that the young couple, led by God, had chosen the man and the woman to be the special baby’s parents forever and ever and always! The man and the woman were so excited that their wishes and hopes and prayers had finally been answered!! They had been waiting for this call for what seemed to them like forever!!
The man and the woman immediately went out far and wide in the kingdom to get all the things their new baby son might need: little bitty bottles and formula to fill them; a stroller for exploring; a bouncy chair for when he wanted to sit up and, well, bounce; a car seat to ride safely throughout the kingdom; and the littlest and sweetest clothes and diapers you’ve ever seen...so many more things they’d need as time went by, and all of it to welcome this beautiful baby boy home. Their whole world would change, and soon, so would their names; for you see, now and for always, they would be known as Mommy and Daddy; and their very, very special blue-eyed baby boy would be given the name Ben.
Then, just a few days later, this very, very special, beautiful blue-eyed baby boy; who we now know and love so much, came home to live forever and ever and always with his Mommy and Daddy! Everyone in the kingdom rejoiced! Ben came home to a house so full of love and thankfulness to God for His secret, wonderful plan.

The kingdom of Mommy and Daddy and Ben is full of hugs and kisses and love and laughter, all because of the wonderful and secret, miraculous plan God had for a beautiful, blue-eyed baby boy....named Ben.

welcome to the fairytale

Wishes, hopes and dreams do come true......
That was/is the title of a story/book that I wrote for my little man to try to explain his 'story' to him somehow/sometime. I'd looked all over the internet to try to find the best possible way for us to explain adoption to the sweetest boy in the whole, wide world; but never could find the perfect way. I started this process when my sweetest boy was just a baby - he's 4 now. So, I decided a fairy tale would be (somewhat) appropriate because that's what I feel like I'm living. Call me corny and a sap, I don't care. This is my life and this is my (new) blog and if you don't like it, or believe it....go somewhere else. My, my. Tough ol' gal, ain't I?
So, here goes. I'm inviting you into my family, warts and all. Meet the sweetest hubby in the world - my number one guy; and the sweetest boy in the world - my number two guy. And me, I'm just T.