A Moment Captured

I found a picture of you.

You were maybe four or five years old, I'm not sure. You're holding a water gun in your hands, and the look on your face is so serious. I wonder what you're thinking about? Your mouth is open, just a little. What were you about to say, buddy?

The sun is shining on your soaking wet hair - I'm not sure if it's wet from sweat or the water gun battle - or both!  I see your little-boy-dirty-streaked face, with your eyes shining.  I remember that brown and blue shirt that you're wearing - how many times did I wash that thing?

I can even recall the smell of that little boy, with his ever-present wiggling, moving, noise, and sweetness.

I remember that day - it was warm, the sun was shining on us, out in the backyard. I look at that picture and it was only a handful of years ago, but so long ago, really.

 

You turned 11 a few days ago.  Eleven, my little boy with the bluest eyes.

 

I'm so proud of you!  You make me happy, and I have been incredibly blessed to be your Mom.

 

Happy Birthday, my sweetest boy.  I love you.

May 31st, 2014

Sheesh!  It's been forever and a day since I've been on here.
We've been crazy busy with school, church, work, soccer, and life in general that I haven't even thought about posting.  But now, it's Saturday, the boys are gone for a little while - how 'bout a little review and a few random thoughts?  Don't mind if I do.

It's finally summer and my favorite time of the year!  Ben is out of school; he finished fourth grade and leaves his elementary school for a new intermediate school next year for fifth grade.  Fifth Grade!! Unbelievable. 
As we went through visiting his previous teachers on the last day of school, I snapped pics of him with each of them and gave hugs - I never once thought I'd get teary-eyed, but I did!  He had such wonderful teachers there - I'm going to miss the family atmosphere.  The school he's heading to is muchmuch larger, they'll have sixteen 5th grade classes!  I'm already overwhelmed, I can't imagine how he'll feel.

My 'baby' turned 10 the first of May.  TEN!  We celebrated with a birthday party in the back yard. We called it the "Food Fight Rematch" - called a rematch because 2 years ago I lost my mind and had the first birthday party + food fight.  That party was such a hit with the boys that I thought, heck, why not do it again?!  This time, we invited 10 boys (and they all showed up! eek!).  I made sure to have lots of stuff for the boys to throw - Jell-O, mashed potatoes, flour, whipped cream, cheese puffs and pork n' beans.  We also had lots of silly string and I'd made 25-30 sponge bombs and put them in tubs of water in the yard. Now, when I had the bright idea to make them for the party, I thought the boys would use them sort of like water balloons; they'd throw them at each other, and the water would help wash off some of the yuck.  Uh.  Not so much.  They got downright violent with them!  I made sure to stay far away during the melee, but they had a ball.
I made Ben's birthday cake and if I can figure out how to post a picture, I'll do so.  He wanted a Minecraft cake, so I hit the internet looking for ideas.  I found a wonderful YouTube video and followed it exactly - it was awesome if I say so myself.  He was so excited to show it off to his friends.  Am I a cool mom or what?  :)
After dark, we roasted marshmallows over the fire pit and made s'mores, then went inside for showers and to cool off a bit before bed.  Oh, I didn't mention it was a sleepover?  Yes. Another brilliant idea on my part.  Ha!  Greg had the camper and tent all set up and ready to go earlier in the afternoon, so at bedtime the boys drew straws to decide who got to sleep where.  (the camper has AC and actual beds......the tent?  Doesn't.)  A good friend (and Dad to one of the kids) slept in the tent with half the boys and my sweet husband slept in the camper with the other half.   Not sure how much sleeping went on out there, because I slept in blissful peace and quiet inside ~ that's the advantage of being the only girl!
The zombies started peeling out of their caves at around 7:30am,  ready for breakfast.  We formed a buffet line for them after making approximately 750 pancakes, 245 pieces of bacon and 22 dozen scrambled eggs.  Give or take.
They fueled up and then headed back outside.  They ran, they screamed, they used anything and everything as weapons, they hollered, they ran some more, they went out in the woods and built forts, they explored, and they ran and ran and ran. 
When it was time to leave, we handed them over to their parents tired and filthy, eaten up with bug bites and scratches from running through briars in the woods.  Just the way boys are supposed to look. 
After the dust settled, we pronounced the party a big success and I vowed to never do it again.  :)


We're gearing up for vacation in a couple of weeks - I think we're all more than ready for a little R&R.   We'll be spending a week in Orlando with a few hundred thousand of our closest friends.  Can't wait.  :)   Then later on in June, Ben and I will be headed to the beach with Mom, Toni and the boys. That's always a fun trip when my sister and I get together.  Silliness abounds. 


Ahh.  Summertime.  I'm actually sitting on the back porch right now ~ ceiling fan is on, feet propped up on the table.  Greg and Ben came back earlier, now the hubs has started demolishing the deck and I'm supposed to be supervising. 
Guess I'd better go make sure everything is up to snuff.  

Have a wonderful summer!




 

Eight

8

Eight. 

EIGHT!!


1) What can I give you to make you as happy as you have made me? Years and years we waited for you - praying, hoping all along. You were - and are - truly a gift from God.

2) Your energy is off the charts and I'm so envious.  You are always up for the next adventure; always ready to gogogo, run, play, and fight bad guys.  Keep fighting those bad guys, baby.  Always have fun!    

3) Try your hardest. Don't give up after stumbling. You'll truly learn from your mistakes - no matter how bad you may feel.   Don't stop trying - and don't stop learning.

4)  Those blue eyes just kill me - do you know how powerful they are? You'll probably break a thousand hearts with those baby blues.   Right now, though, you can just use your powers on Mom and Dad....

5) Be good.  Be kind.  Be strong.  Stand up for what is right, don't go with the crowd 'just because'.   Make up your own mind about what you will and won't do, don't allow someone else to change what you know is right...listen to the feelings in your heart and you'll always know you've done what is best.  

6) Do you have to grow up? I know, in just a few short years, you'll be driving. Driving!
Every year I think, oh I love this age - but every year it gets better. I can't wait to see how you change into the man you are meant to be. Just don't do it so fast, k?
7) Trust God.  He always knows what's best for you and loves you more than Mommy and Daddy ever could.

8) Eat your vegetables.  :)



Happy birthday my sweet boy.  I will always always love you, no matter what. 

Growth.

Sheesh.  My baby is growning up and I'm not too sure I'm all that happy about it! 
The boy has just about outgrown every pair of jeans that he owns!  This morning, I helped him get his clothes out for school -  as he pulled the jeans on I could tell they were a bit snug.  He couldn't snap them...."Mom, can you get this for me?".......let's see.....ok, suck it in......uh, no.  Too short and too tight!
To make matters worse, they were semi-new!!  (read: they didn't have holes in the knee)
Did he have a growth spurt that I missed?! 

Speaking of growing up.....

We took our new camper out for our inaugural camping trip this weekend!  We didn't go far, just up the road 20-30 minutes to FDR State Park.  Lovely place, lovely weather.  We hiked, biked, fished and roasted marshmallows over the fire.  Oh, and the boy found a girlfriend. 

Our campsite was across from the play area, so my Social Butterfly son spent a good bit of time over there playing with the other camp kids.  When he wasn't at the playground, he was whining that he wanted to go play with his new friends at the playground.  We soon found out why. 
Her name was Abby.  Or Addie.  Or Allie.  Something like that.  Anyway.  I believe it was love at first sight.

After breakfast Sunday morning, we heard the sound of kids on the playground, so he asked if he could go over to play.  He got dressed, then asked if his hair was still sticking up (he had a bit of The Bed Head going on).   I told him yes - did he want me to fix it for him?  Yes, please.
So, I moistened it a bit and tried to make it behave, which led to nice flat wet hair.. 
I asked him if he wanted me to dry it a little with my hair dryer.  Yes, please.
A few knowing looks over his head to the Daddy and we were done.
"Is it ok, Mom?"
"Is it flat?" 
Yes, baby.  You're perfect.

And just like that, my baby grew up.  He wanted to be sure his hair was ok before he went out to meet his 'friends', particularly, one girl.  As we watched through the camper screen, he walked toward the playground and the kids flocked to him.





We were thinking, though.  Our Social Butterfly who worried so much about whether his hair was flat, never thought to brush his teeth. 

Maybe I've got a few more years yet?

Melancholy

Feeling a little melancholy this morning, maybe it's the season?  The leaves are changing, it's getting cooler outside - Fall is here.  Soon, Thanksgiving and then all too quickly Christmas will be here and gone.  Another year, passed.



Where has time gone?  Maybe it's because my days and weeks are spent the same - I treasure the quiet of my days off work, with time to myself to spend as I wish.  My work days are made better because I get to see my friends, not because of any great feeling of accomplishment anymore.  When did that change?  Am I making a difference there?  Occasional glimpses of a higher purpose appear, but they're few and far between. 

I got to spend some time with Mama last week when she and Dan-man came to stay with us while Greg was gone on his annual fishing trip.  I don't know how good my company was, but I really enjoyed her visit.  (Thanks, Mama for taking care of me!) You always amaze me with how you never complain about doing something for one of us.  Well, maybe you do, but I never hear it.  I know very few people who would make an apple pie at 10:30 at night just because.  If the grand kids want pizza, and then want something else, and then something else...you're on it.  And the #1 rule: 'Grandma overrules the Mama' stands well and true.

My memories of my childhood are fleeting - I don't remember many day to day events, and as I get older, even things that I thought I'd always remember at the time, are gone.  That makes me sad. 
I allow things to come and go, moments that I think to myself, "I need to go write that down" only to be distracted by something - the moment passes, along with the memory.  

I want time to stop sometimes - or at least slow down for goodness sakes!  Maybe it's me?  Maybe I need to savor each moment as it comes a little more.  Allowing the moment to sink in a little deeper, grow roots...so that when I want to re-visit that time, I'll be able to remember. 





photo credit: Shari Weinsheimer

A day or three in the life of a boy

This n' that.  Bits n' pieces.  Here n' there over the past few days.



Thursday:
Little man piped up from the back seat to tell us that he'd volunteered to be on the Student Council at school. (2nd grade student council??) He said that when his teacher asked for volunteers,  he and two other boys stepped forward. He said if he wasn't chosen as a representative, he might still get to be the alternate when the rep wasn't there. 
So proud he wants to help!   Now, my question is, what kind of decisions will second graders be making? I can just see it now......Recess! Candy! No school on Mondays! Hamburgers every day!   :)

*update:  found out last night that Ben was not chosen to be on the SC.  They had three volunteers but only two positions, so somebody had to be the losing candidate.  Broke my heart when he told me that he didn't get enough votes.   He did tell me: "I voted for myself, is that ok?"     :)
Maybe next time, sweetie.  



Sunday morning:
A friend from church passed on a little tidbit of information to me from Children's Church.  During the lesson, the leader asked the kids what their feelings were when they saw a homeless person.  Obviously, each child gave a different answer - feel sorry for them, or wonder why they're homeless, etc.  Ben's answer?  He said he thinks, "maybe they could come and live with me".





Sunday night/Monday morning:
At bedtime last night, I asked Ben what he'd rather do in the morning:  ride the bus or be a 'car rider' to school.  (On Mondays & Fridays he has a choice because I don't work on those days.  FYI - there's a BIG difference in the time he - and I - have to get up depending on which mode of transportation he chooses.)  His answer last night was to ride the bus.  Joy.  Not the answer I'd hoped to hear.....that meant we'd have to be up by 6am. 
Goodnight kisses given, I head off to the kitchen to get the coffee pot ready for my bleary-eyed-morning-self.  Then it was off to bed for me.
Fast forward to this morning.  Awakened by the alarm, I stumble my bleary-eyed-self into the kitchen to the coffee pot.  Pour myself a cup, take a few sips (ok, half a cup) to clear the cobwebs, then head in to wake the child. 
Let me just pause here to ask, is there anything sweeter in this whole wide world than a sleeping child?  Even this wild, loud monkey boy that smells like a billy goat most of the time is a vision of angelic peace when he sleeps.   Ok, picking up where we left off....
I crawl into bed with my sweet sleepy child,  say his name and tell him it's time to get up.  He stretches and then doesn't move again.  Has he gone back to sleep?   I remind him that if he wants to go back to sleep and just let me take him to school, that he could sleep for another hour - but if he planned to ride the bus, he needed to get up now.  
My sweet baby then turned to me and asked me if I wanted to go back to sleep.  When I told him no baby, I'm ok - he said he'd go ahead and get up too. 
We headed to the living room couch where he joined me for an early morning snuggle.  40 minutes later, we were still there as the schoolbus stopped out in front of the house. 
We ignored it. 

I love that stinky, wild, billy-goat-smelling, monkey boy.

9/11

Earlier tonight just before little man's bedtime, as we were watching the beginning moments of a show remembering 9/11, the footage showed one of the poor souls who fell or leapt from one of the towers.  I quickly put my hand over Ben's eyes and ushered him out of the living room to his bedroom - all the while listening to: "What was it, Mom?", "What was that falling?"
I told him that there are some bad things in life that I feel like I have to protect him from, and at this point, I didn't think it was something he should see.  He's 7, I'm....um, not....and I have a hard time watching it and wrapping my brain around the horror - how is his little mind going to process something so terrible?  

My baby is still my baby - at least for another day.

Maxine's Mystic Revelers*

Good Monday Morning!  Spent the weekend on the Gulf Coast for what has become our family's annual Mardi Gras trip - and boy, we were paraded out by the time Sunday rolled around!  It's so nice to get together with the extended family for a time - lots of laughter, food, and definitely noise!  We are one loud group!  Just ask the neighbors!  Ahem.

Brought home bags full (literally) of cheap Mardi Gras stuff - beads, stuffed animals, plastic crabs, candy, Moon Pies, cups, dubloons, etc etc.   The little man wanted to take some beads to his classmates this morning, so I counted out 40 strands of the multicolored beads, explained to him that he would be able to give each friend 2 strands and that he needed to make sure it would be ok with his teacher before he started passing them around.  I sent a note with him, addressed to her, regarding the beads.  I hope he's able to give them out without causing too much of a ruckus in the classroom.  I threatened told him absolutely no throwing of beads in the classroom!!!  
I hope he listened. 

Happy Mardi Gras, everybody! 



*MMR - our 'Offical' Krewe name.  :)

of chivalry and oral hygeine

While visiting (and enjoying every minute of it!) a friend's blog this morning, I came across a sweet post she wrote about her Gentleman-in-Training, Jonathan.  It reminded me of my little man and his first demonstrations of chivalry yesterday.

We were leaving for church; just the two of us -  Greg had gone earlier; and, as usual, we were running late.  Most of the conversation consisted of:  "hurry up....go brush your teeth!....why aren't you dressed?......shoes?...where are your shoes?.....no, you can't take your DS to church.....did you brush your teeth?....please brush your teeth!......did you brush all of your teeth?.....let's go....let's goooo!"   You know, a typical Sunday morning. 

I grabbed my purse, keys, etc.  Ben got his little bag that holds his Bible, and a straw.  Yes, a drinking straw.  I don't know why, he just did.  Into his mouth it goes.  (maybe I should afix a brush to it so I don't have to remind him forty times to brush his teeth)

As we walked out to the car, he's his usual chatterbox self; but as we made our way around the front of the car, he paused at my door, shifted his bag to his other shoulder, and opened the car door for me!  Then he proceeded to his door, stopped and smiled at me - complete with the straw sticking out of the corner of his mouth.  What a gentleman!  I gave him a quick squeeze, kiss and thank you, snatched the straw out of his mouth, and away we went to church. 

When we got there, we gathered our things and walked (somewhat) together to the door.  Reminders of: don't run in the hall, don't forget to give your tithe envelope to your teacher, be good in class, etc.  We get almost to the door, when my little gentleman rushes ahead, opens the door and holds it for me!  Another quick hug and kiss for my sweet boy - who is immensely proud of himself, by the way. 

Looking back over yesterday morning, after typing this out;  I see that an awful lot of the morning was spent with me saying "don't do this...don't do that....behave....remember not to...."   I should temper my reminders with a little more praise.  He didn't have to be told to open the doors for me, he just did it, out of the kindness of his heart.  All the correction and rushing and do this! don't do that!....was it needed?  Is that what he's going to remember?  Mama was always harping on me to do something or other? 
He was just being himself, a little boy.  I wouldn't want it any other way.

And besides, these baby teeth are all gonna fall out anyway, right?

Love is.....

• changing the oil in my car...
• taking the garbage out that I leave sitting by the door - 8 steps away from the garbage can...
• sweeping up packing peanuts in the middle of the night because you said you'd clean up the mess...
• buying Valentine's cards for me from you and our little man...
• building a fire because "I'm cold" is something you hear repeatedly - AND we can roast marshmallows...then, making the perfect marshmallow for yourself...
• going to work every day for our family...
• our little family...
• taking care of things...
• never giving up on me...
• sentimental...
• thoughtful...
• sweet...
• funny...
• sometimes stressed-out...
• never forgotten...
• always calling on the way home from work...
• insisting on date nights...
• a wonderful Daddy to our son...
• comfortable...
• for always...

Love is: You....and so much more.

Happy Valentine's Day to my sweetie.  I love you.

peace

I'm sitting on my new back porch.  Yes, I have things that need to be done, and you're right, this ain't gettin' 'em done.   Hush. 
But, just look.   Look outside!  It's beautiful!   The sun is so bright, the sky has absolutely no clouds.  The trees have completely changed over the last week and a half - there are new,  tender leaves - the prettiest green you've ever seen!  The dogwoods are in full bloom.  The birds are singing from every corner of the yard.  I hear no sounds other than the sounds of nature.   It's just beautiful.   And so peaceful. 
This setting has a horrible worsening effect on my chronic daydreamitis.  I remember a hundred years ago in elementary school, a teacher wrote, "Teri is a day-dreamer.  She'd rather look out the window...blah blah blah."   Well, y'know what?  I still am!  I'd rather look out the window than do many, many things.  
Oh, goodness, it's so peaceful and private and wonderful and lovely out here.  I'm very, very happy to be here in this time and place.  Thank you, Lord, for leading us home.

the one where we shop, smell, stumble in the dark and Mommy wants to kick some butt.

Had the oh-so enjoyable treat last Sunday night to go out amongst the other procrastinators to try to get our Christmas shopping done; took the little man, adding exponentially to the treat factor. (Cause you never quite know what you're gonna get....)

We'd done pretty well (good?) we'd made the most of our time and checked off a good bit of the purchases for the folks on our list. One last stop before leaving Macy's: we headed over to the cologne counter for the sweetest hubby. Our clerk was a young woman that immediately took a 'shine' to my little guy. She'd offer the little cards spritzed with cologne to him first, then, he'd take a sniff and tell us how he liked it. She seemed to get a kick out of it and so did he.
So, we picked out what we wanted, paid for our selection and then started to leave. As we did, the clerk asked Ben if he wanted some samples to take home. Well, of course, he did! So, she gave him 3 little envelopes with cologne samples. You'd think she had given him the best present in the world! He was so thrilled! His own cologne!!! He tried to shove the envelopes in his pockets, but they wouldn't all fit, so I stuffed two of them in my purse and let him hold one. He was so proud.

We then had to make a trip down to the Hollister store for my nephew's present - oy.
I can tell I'm getting old. We walked into the store, noting first thing that the music is so stinking loud, you can't hear yourself think! And could somebody please tell the powers that be to turn on the lights!! How on earth can you shop in the dark??? FYI.....I have no idea what color shirt I bought my nephew. I just don't understand it. Anywho.
So, there we were, stumbling in the dark - ears ringing and head throbbing - shopping for a shirt. My sweet smelling little boy walked past me and on further into the black hole that is Hollister. Just ahead of him, stands 3 (probably) teenage boys. I don't know if they're shoppers, or if they work there....it's too dark to tell. But, nevertheless, they're standing right where Ben is heading. I pause a minute to see what he's up to - what I see next surprises me. Just as he gets closer to the big boys, my little boy pulls his new cologne out and holds it out in his hand. He looks at his hand, adjusts it just so. I know what he's doing. He wants so bad for them to notice. I can see it. I see how he holds it out, nonchalantly (as nonchalant as a 5 year old can be). I got a little stab in my heart at that moment. My eyes started to sting a little, surprising me.
I don't know if it was sadness, or sweetness or what, but I felt so touched by the little scene that played before me. Oh, and no, the boys didn't notice. They were too wrapped up in their teenage selves to even note his presence on their radar. He wasn't even a blip.
My baby was undeterred, though. He just kept his prize in his hand.
Mommy wanted to go shake some boys though. They'd done absolutely nothing wrong, but to the Mom of the sweetest boy in the whole wide world, they'd committed a crime most heinous: they'd not noticed my baby when he wanted nothing more than to be noticed.
Acceptance and the need to 'fit in' comes unbelievably early and can last a lifetime.

Tragedy times two

Today is Love Thursday. This is love lost.

We heard last night that a little girl had been hit by a car yesterday afternoon getting off the school bus. We knew she was a kindergartener at Ben's school. We didn't know until this morning that she'd died from her injuries. We didn't know until this morning that she was one of Ben's classmates. Her name is Karla Campos, she was 5 years old. And she was an angel.
I'll miss you, sweet girl.

http://www.ajc.com/news/cobb/family-mourns-5-year-234840.html

Tears for a little girl lost

People, I am just beside myself. I am horrified beyond words. The world is full of evil, but this has touched me more than I can stand.

I try not to watch too much of the news just to protect myself from the 'misery porn' that permeates each and every newscast. Somehow, though, I got wind of the case of the little 5-year old girl reported missing last week. It seems that every week there is another case of a missing child! This case caught my attention because the little girl is the same age as my little man. I think of him - how innocent and trusting - he's only 5! This little girl - she's only 5!!

Check that - she was only 5 - they found her body today. Her little life was cut short by pure evil. This angel sent by God never had a chance to live. She never had a chance.

Her so-called mother - I can't even put into words. I cannot understand how someone who brought a child into the world could do something like what this woman is accused of doing. It's unfathomable to me.
The pictures released from the surveillance camera at the hotel showing a man holding her at the elevator just ripped my heart out. I wish I could erase the picture from my mind, but I can't. All I see is the trusting look on her face. She's holding a stuffed animal, for goodness sakes. Her little hand is on his shoulder! Oh, Dear Lord. What must she have faced? Who was there to comfort her? Her little mind couldn't have understood what was going on. Please Lord, let her not have known. Pure evil. Just pure evil. I just can't take it. It makes me ill.

Rest in peace little one. May you now rest in the arms of your Comforter, and Protector. May you now know true Love.

No one will ever, ever hurt you again, baby girl.

Happy Birthday, sweet friend

Today is your birthday and I've got a bone to pick with you. I want to tell you a few things. So sit down. And hush.

1) I think you are just the cat's meow; I want to be just like you when I grow up.
2) I think I've never met anyone so beautiful - inside and out.
3) I think you are the epitome of Southern Hospitality, grace, beauty, warmth, humor, style, and class.
4) I think I've never tasted anything better than your cakes.
5) I think you work too hard.
6) I think I would have loved to have you for a sister for all my life, not just the last 10 years or so.
7) I think I'll never have a better choir buddy and I miss standing next to you every Sunday morning. And Wednesday night.
8) I think I want your clothes. And your shoes. So, hand 'em over.
9) I think you are the most beautiful Grandmother I've ever seen.
10) I think your husband is a nut (not earth-shattering news, everybody knows that)
11) I think you are talented beyond belief. And humble to boot.
12) I think you are smarter than a 5th grader.
13) I think I would have loved for my son to have had you for a Sunday school teacher.
14) I think I miss you something terrible.
15) I think I need a tissue.
16) I think God loves you very much.
17) I think I do too.
18) I think I need another tissue.
19) I think you're my hero and quite possibly an angel here on earth.
20) I think there's no possible way that you're 60 years old today. Oops, was that a secret?
21) I think I'm so very thankful that you have occupied the same place in time with me - my life wouldn't be the same without knowing you.
22) I think I'm so very grateful for the friendship and love you've offered me and my family.
23) I think I've been so very blessed to have you in my life.
24) I think I need another tissue.

Have a wonderful day, my sweet, sweet friend. I love you so much.

The Big Day

My orders were to have scrambled eggs, bacon and biscuits ready for breakfast.
Well, everything but the biscuits came through. Cinnamon toast instead.
Greg got the sleepyhead up around 6:45 this morning so we'd have plenty of time to get everything done before having to go to the bus stop. He was still a bit groggy, but excited. I had a million butterflies in my stomach.

We talked last night before bed - reviewing what to expect, how to act, what the pick up plans were - I wanted him to be ready...so he wouldn't be scared. I think it was more for me than him, but, he listened - maybe he felt something of what I was feeling. I don't know.

So, we ate. Then got dressed, brushed, combed, back-packed. Grabbed the camera and out the door. Stopped to take pictures on the front step - we could see the neighbors and their kids all heading to the new bus stop up the hill.....not long now...gotta hurry. The parade of kids and parents with cameras started to pick up in number as we got closer. Cobb county's recent change in bus stops created quite a crowd on the corner.

Ben immediately started making the rounds - he had to see everybody and show them his new back pack. My social butterfly strikes again. I snapped a few pictures and wished we had a few more quiet minutes at home so we could have gone over the day again, but just a few minutes after we got there, the big yellow bus came over the hill. I could hear the excited comments from the opposite side of the crowd -

'here it comes!'
'the BUS!, it's here!!'
'come here, give me a hug'
'just one more picture!'

It came too fast! Greg grabbed Ben and gave him a big hug, kiss and a wish for a great day. I was trying to get pictures and walk with him - hug and kiss for me and then he was in the line....with the biggest smile on his face. He waited in line to climb aboard - he'd look ahead, then look at us, smile, then look ahead. He was ready! He never hesitated - climbed right on board with no wavering of the smile. Someone told him where to sit - the Kindergarten students sit at the front, right near the driver - so Ben got in the first seat, next to the door. I could barely see him over the cushion at the front of the bus, but he'd stand up and smile and wave for me.

As the doors closed, someone must have said something to get his attention in the bus because he turned his head away from us. Then, the bus started rolling and I didn't see his face again until we got to the school.

Yes, you read it right. We ran back to the house, got the car and drove over to the school so we could get pictures of him going into his class for the first time. Now, we'd discussed this, too.
I made sure to let him know it was simply because Mom and Dad wanted pictures of his first day at school - not because Mommy thought she'd break down without one more hug, oh no.
It was simply a photo op.

So, off we all go to walk him to his class - the excited smile remained throughout the walk through the gym, down the hall; to the Kindergarten wing of the school. Once again, my social butterfly greeted everyone he saw with a cheerful, 'good morning'; a few he questioned, 'did you see my new back pack?' I'd say he's pretty proud of it, no?

Since we weren't allowed in the classroom, we took a few pictures out in the hall. More hugs and kisses and then sent him on in. He was ready, again.
He never faltered, never looked back. We peeked in and I made sure the teacher had him down for ASP this afternoon - she did - so, we had no reason to stay.

We left the way we came, with big smiles. Never wavering.

Well, not much.

Big boy school

I'm watching the days on the calendar slip by faster than ever. It feels like the start of the summer was just yesterday, or the day before at the most. Vacation has come and gone; I remember how I so looked forward to our time at the beach, and now it's just a memory, too.

How can time speed up? How can a whole week, a couple of months, half a year, even - come and go so fast that it makes my head spin? I watched my little guy 'graduate' from preK just a couple of months ago, thinking that August would never get here and now! - it's just a day or so away. That means Kindergarten is just days away. Oh my goodness gracious. Kindergarten.

Someone made the comment to me the other day that she couldn't believe how much Ben had changed in the past year. He's grown into a little BOY, not a baby anymore. Yeah, yeah - I know, he hasn't been a baby in a while; but he's my baby, still. He still has the sweetness of my baby, but the edges are getting a little rougher.

He'll still cuddle with me watching tv, but tells me it's annoying him if I'm caught looking at him; memorizing every expression on his face.

He'll allow kisses, but only on his schedule.

Hugs are a precursor for wrestling now.

We walk across a parking lot and the little hand that I've held on to so tightly for fear its owner might dart out in front of a car; now would rather be empty and independent.



So, yes. I guess he is growing up. While he's so very excited about school, my stomach turns over. I have the same feelings I felt when we moved here and we started him in a new
pre-school. Only, he's old enough now to understand that not everybody he meets will want the best for him, or want to be his friend, or don't care if he's happy or sad or scared - or whatever. He's going out into the world; (yeah, yeah - I know.....it's Kindergarten, for goodness sakes!) come what may. Head first and wide open, he'll make his way.

Sweetest boy in the whole wide world: That (ridiculously) quickly approaching August morning, we'll get you all ready to go to your big school; Mommy and Daddy will be there to watch you get on the bus you've waited on for so long. We'll give you one big hug (or six) and kisses to last (me) the whole day; and we'll watch you climb on board. We'll wave you goodbye and Mommy will try her hardest not to embarrass you by breaking down in the middle of the sidewalk. That, I will save for the privacy of our garage - cuz' there's no way I'll be able to hold it in until I go in the house. I'll be thinking of you throughout the day - wondering what new things you'll learn, if you're being good, if you're scared - if you'll speak up when you need to go to the bathroom(!), if you like your teacher; so many things.

I wish you only the best, my little man - now, big boy. Grow up big and strong but keep your sweetness. Know that Mommy and Daddy love you and will always be here for you, no matter what.

WAR EAGLE!!

Another episode in the "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" chronicles.

Lunchtime today: walked my sweet self into Subway for a sammich - sporting my favorite Auburn scrubs. Could there be any better job in the world than nursing???? I mean, I get to wear my pjs to work!

Well, doncha know the first thing the 'sandwich artist' behind the counter says is "Auburn!?" (hmm...it's hard to get across in typing form the nasal, sarcastic tone he used). Then, "didn't you see the sign on the door?"*

*Excuse me here - now, normally, I'd just laugh it off - because every.stinking.time I wear my AU scrubs to work I have to deal with the oh, so original! comments from the Dawg faithful that I'm forced to work with. A few brave souls (patients) might pipe up and mention something about my choice of teams - just a few though; I guess they know I could be the one administering their sedation for their colonoscopy, so I suppose they don't want to take a chance on gettin' me all riled up. (sorry, guess my redneck is showing)

Sooo. Back to Subway. Today, I'd had my fill. I turned around and looked at the door he indicated and said, 'No, but I could just as easy turn around and walk right back out that door'. No smile. Didn't laugh it off this time. The poor guy didn't know what to say!

I just don't understand it. Here I am a paying customer, and you're gonna insult me? Yeah, yeah - I know - he was just kidding. But sheesh! It happens every.stinking.time!!! I don't have a lot of AU paraphernalia; but the sweetest hubby IS an AU grad, so we are kind of proud to wear the team colors, y'know? We don't go overboard with it by any means - generally, it's a 'whatever is clean' in the closet kind of thing - so for someone to say something about it each and every time we wear our favorite team's logo, it gets kind of old.

Oh and um....I'm not stupid. I made sure to watch the 'artist' at work when he made my sandwich. Like I could possibly withhold your sedation if you get me riled up - he could do some really nasty things to my sammich - I'm just sayin........{shudder}

Happy Birthday Sweetest Boy

Little man,

You're sleeping now. You breathe in and out. Your eyelashes, so long and soft, still and quiet on your sweet face. Your beautiful mouth is open a little; sometimes you speak a word or two straight out of your dream - what is your dream tonight, baby? Could it be dinosaurs or Transformers, Power Rangers and fighting Bad Guys? My little man - you're always the Good Guy - keep the town safe. Sweet dreams, little man.

I remember the very first time I saw your beautiful face. You came into our home and into our hearts in the arms of one of God's special angels - and our lives haven't and will not ever be the same again.

Your light shines so brightly it's sometimes blinding. Your spirit fills the room. I watch you from a distance and see the changing expressions on your face and am still amazed at this gift God has given us. I see your happiness overflowing even when you are just outside playing, or running for the sheer joy of running; your energy is abundant and contagious. I see your eyes sparkle and your entire face break into a smile when you run from home plate to first base - your batting helmet too big, wobbling on your noggin - you sneak a peek at the bleachers to see if I'm watching. Yes, baby. I'm watching - I'll always be there to cheer you on - whatever you choose to do. I love to watch you and Daddy give each other high-fives when you make it to first base after taking a serious whack at the t-ball.

I love your voice - silly and serious, early-morning hoarseness, or late-night sleepiness - my favorite words in the whole wide world: "hey, ma-ma". If I could bottle that sound and have nothing else to hear the rest of my life, I'd take it and consider it enough.

You made our life so sweet when you came through our door. You're loved so much, my little man. You celebrate your birthday this week and we celebrate with you. You're a whole hand now! You're going to be 5 years old. Unbelievable. My fairy tale happily ever after has reached another precious milestone. I thank God for this; I thank God for you, my one and only sweet little boy. Your Daddy and me love you so, so much.

Happy Birthday my sweet, sweet 5 year old.

I love you,

Mommy

Big boy school

Yesterday was a big day around here. Yesterday we registered the sweetest boy in the whole, wide, wonderful world for Kindergarten. Yesterday we walked right up to the elementary school and signed the papers. Yesterday we made our very first trip into the place that, with time - will take all the vestiges of 'babydom' from me, er, from him....oops....
He'll move from his preK, where I can still see and believe he's still my baby.
This place will begin the process of moving him into the little boy- that will turn into the big boy -that will turn into the man that he will be. Oy. I can't even begin to think about it.

And can I tell ya that my little guy was (3 ft in the air) excited to be there???? He was thrilled to no end to be in his new school. He wanted to meet the principal - can ya believe it??

So, I kept him home today from preK......my baby stayed home with me. And I loved it.