Big boy school

I'm watching the days on the calendar slip by faster than ever. It feels like the start of the summer was just yesterday, or the day before at the most. Vacation has come and gone; I remember how I so looked forward to our time at the beach, and now it's just a memory, too.

How can time speed up? How can a whole week, a couple of months, half a year, even - come and go so fast that it makes my head spin? I watched my little guy 'graduate' from preK just a couple of months ago, thinking that August would never get here and now! - it's just a day or so away. That means Kindergarten is just days away. Oh my goodness gracious. Kindergarten.

Someone made the comment to me the other day that she couldn't believe how much Ben had changed in the past year. He's grown into a little BOY, not a baby anymore. Yeah, yeah - I know, he hasn't been a baby in a while; but he's my baby, still. He still has the sweetness of my baby, but the edges are getting a little rougher.

He'll still cuddle with me watching tv, but tells me it's annoying him if I'm caught looking at him; memorizing every expression on his face.

He'll allow kisses, but only on his schedule.

Hugs are a precursor for wrestling now.

We walk across a parking lot and the little hand that I've held on to so tightly for fear its owner might dart out in front of a car; now would rather be empty and independent.



So, yes. I guess he is growing up. While he's so very excited about school, my stomach turns over. I have the same feelings I felt when we moved here and we started him in a new
pre-school. Only, he's old enough now to understand that not everybody he meets will want the best for him, or want to be his friend, or don't care if he's happy or sad or scared - or whatever. He's going out into the world; (yeah, yeah - I know.....it's Kindergarten, for goodness sakes!) come what may. Head first and wide open, he'll make his way.

Sweetest boy in the whole wide world: That (ridiculously) quickly approaching August morning, we'll get you all ready to go to your big school; Mommy and Daddy will be there to watch you get on the bus you've waited on for so long. We'll give you one big hug (or six) and kisses to last (me) the whole day; and we'll watch you climb on board. We'll wave you goodbye and Mommy will try her hardest not to embarrass you by breaking down in the middle of the sidewalk. That, I will save for the privacy of our garage - cuz' there's no way I'll be able to hold it in until I go in the house. I'll be thinking of you throughout the day - wondering what new things you'll learn, if you're being good, if you're scared - if you'll speak up when you need to go to the bathroom(!), if you like your teacher; so many things.

I wish you only the best, my little man - now, big boy. Grow up big and strong but keep your sweetness. Know that Mommy and Daddy love you and will always be here for you, no matter what.