Hi, I'm your new neighbor.

Arrrggh. Ok. I'm not the social butterfly I appear to be. Heh.

So, we're new here: in this town, in this subdivision Ok, so I'm still considering us as new here. It's less than a year, so we're still new. Right? Anyway. I'm not real good in most social situations where I don't know anyone, I just don't feel comfortable. Gimme a group of folks I know, and I can have a great time - completely comfortable. Not a worry in the world.
But plop me down in the middle of a group that I don't know and I feel completely out of my element.

Tonight our street had its annual Labor Day get-together. I felt obliged to go, for a couple of reasons. I've been feeling guilty that we haven't attended any of the other little get togethers that have been scheduled. I want to get to know my neighbors and have friends here; and most importantly - little man needs to get to know his neighbors too and hopefully find a buddy or twelve to play with...so, for the little man, I went. I unfolded, stretched out and dusted off my butterfly wings and we took off down the street.

Now, needless to say - but I will - I felt quite conspicuous coming down the street - just me and the kiddo. The sweet hubby was up to his knees in yard work, so he couldn't go. Little man wanted to ride his bike, so I got him all safety-helmeted-up and we headed down the driveway. As we left the driveway, we both realized (a little late) that the street has a pretty good downhill slope to it - funny, I never noticed it went downhill - until little man started to rocket past me. Did he remember how to apply the brakes? Oh, sure. Well, he got off the bike, and I got to pull it alongside me. Now, back to the conspicuous part. So, here we come around the curve of the street to the cul-de-sac, just me and LM. The party is obviously in full swing by now, so EVERYONE on the street is there. And here we come. Kinda hard to make a quiet entrance with a 4 year old in a bicycle helmet, who is excited beyond belief at his first look at the inflatable in the front yard. Had I not controlled him, he would have run ahead and left me, the social butterfly, to walk up alone. Ugh.

Now, once we got there and I got the helmet off and the bike put away, I let him loose. It's so easy for him - just go headfirst and see what happens. So then, I too, head to the inflatable where my little 'just jump right in the middle of it all' kid is. There I see a couple from two doors down, so I force myself over to talk to them - went very well, I think. Very nice. But then what? Can I commandeer you guys for the rest of the evening???? Nah. I knew that wouldn't work, so I had to try again. And again. And again.

All in all, I guess it went ok. But, if I hadn't made the first steps, again and again; I wouldn't have had a soul to talk to. Once or twice, the person I'd be talking to would have to go handle something or other - like a crying kid or whatever - so I'd find myself wandering over to the inflatable under the guise of checking on LM.....just so I wouldn't be standing in the middle of some un-named neighbors' yard alone.

I'm soooo uncomfortable, and oh yeah, I'm sure I hid it sooooo well, but yet, no one came running to my side to help me out. What's the deal? There were several groups sitting or standing around, and I barged into one or two, but sheesh! Can't you see I don't know a soul and you guys are not making it any easier for me? Everyone there knew everyone there - but me.

I really hope it'll get better and easier. These folks are very nice, I just have to get over my social anxiety and just go for it, like the LM does.

But, man. Things were so much easier when we were hermits and lived in the woods.

Belly aches and accidents

Yesterday afternoon, I got a call from little man's pre-K teacher saying that he'd had a couple of "accidents" and he'd been complaining that his tummy hurt; so, I hopped in the car to pick him up around 1:30 or so. Got him home, settled him onto the comfy chair with the remote and 'his shows', then went to throw the noxious evidence of his sick tummy (clothes) into the wash. One word. Yuck.

He' s been battling a sick tummy since Tuesday, when he got up saying his tummy hurt. Had him sit on the potty before school, with good results, thankyouverymuch. Called the hospital to tell them I was dealing with a potential sick kid, and that I'd either be late, or not be coming in at all. Then, I snuggled with the potential sick kid for a while in the comfy chair to see if there were any more problems, or episodes. After 30 minutes or so with nothing, I asked him how he felt.
"I feel good."
"You want to go to school now?"

So, off we go. Actually, he wanted his daddy to take him, so off they went and off I went to the hospital. Fast forward to late Tuesday afternoon. I'm checking my cell phone to see if I had any important calls or whatever (yeah, right. I'm such a social butterfly....) and I see that I have a message from the school. Great. That's never good.

So, I'm circling down the parking garage - floor by floor - all the while trying not to crash because I'm fumbling with my blasted phone trying to get to my voicemails. Yep, you guessed it. Little man had had several accidents and they were out of clean clothes, could we come pick him up a little early? Now, mind you, it's now 4:50. I had to work a little over, normally I get off at 4. Of all the days that I needed to get off on time (or early) this was one. But, it didn't happen.

Two things: 1)I don't carry my phone with me in the department - too much potential nasty stuff for it to fall into......nuf' said. And, 2)If they needed me to come get him early, WHY didn't they call me at work? Or the Daddy at work???

So, all I could think about was what my poor little guy was doing about clothes (is he nekkid???), and he was really sick and I'd made him go to school, and am I the worst mommy in the world????

When I got to the school, he looked like a little orphan. But a happy little orphan. No, he didn't look, nor act, sick at all. In fact, when I got there, he and two other kids were playing swords with these dowel thingys - um, can we say, not a good idea??? Anywho, since they'd gone through all his clean clothes, they'd given him some out of the lost and found, or somewhere. But, bless his heart, he had on a pair of shorts that were too short - fit in the waist, but waay short; girls maybe? and an Oshkosh long-sleeved t-shirt that on him, looked like 3/4 length sleeves.

But, you know what the first thing he said to me was? Well, after "MOMM!!", he said, "Look at my NEW clothes!!!!" He was thrilled!

What a kid.

Vitamin Ben

Was able to see my little man in action this morning in his Pre-K class (without having to go all undercover....y'know - hiding behind door-frames, peeking around corners, etc.).

This week, little man has been crowned "Teachers Helper" -- with all the glory and responsibility that goes along with such a highly decorated and coveted title. So, before I left to go home and wonder what to do with myself all day; little man asked me if I would stay for a little while while he led the class in reciting the days of the week and the months of the year (in both Spanish and English, mind you). Then, they did the Pledge of Allegiance (oh yes, they did!) Woo hoo! The full version, not the watered down, leave "under God" out, PC version.
Now, he, nor any of his classmates, got it completely right, but they sure tried. It was too cute.

What just melted me (yes, I leave little puddles of myself wherever I am, it seems, when dealing with this kids' toxic, kryptonite cuteness) was how proud he was to be up in the front of the class -being the one to lead them - and the fact that his Mommy was there to see it all. To see the smile on his face was just the greatest. I felt my face completely reflecting that smile and I hope he could see how proud I was of him. I know, I know, it wasn't brain surgery; but hey, he's only 4 and this is a big deal!

So, there. There's your dose of cuteness to get you through the day. It cures what ails ya.

Good morning, mommy

This morning, just like every morning, I'm got a sweet early morning hug and kiss from the sweetest boy in the world. All sleepy-eyed, scratchy voiced and warm from his bed; he's hanging onto his daddy's back before going downstairs to get breakfast and get ready for school.
Kisses and hugs and a "good morning, mommy", then he says, "Mommy, last night I had a dream about getting kisses on my lips from you." I melted. Right there on the floor. In a puddle.

This kid, this kid.


my sweet hubby

I've got the sweetest hubby in the world.

Don't believe me? Alrighty. Here's a few examples just from today:
*He got up this morning and made special pancakes for the little mans breakfast (because the little guy asked for them) then sat down to eat a cold bowl of Special K for himself.
*He helped me balance the checkbook....(numbers + me = trouble).
*He changed out the deadbolts on the doors so we don't have to use a key to open them - which, if you think about it, could be pretty dangerous - unless you wanted to keep the key in the lock at all times.....which we don't.
*He cleaned the bathrooms upstairs and down.
*He ate the supper I cooked. ('nuf said)

He did all this and more - and he's sick - or getting sick. Think he's either fighting allergies or has the beginnings of a cold or something. But, he still took care of us and never complained.

Ain't he sumpthin?

ooh, that smell

The sweetest boy in the world just tooted.

I'm sittin' here on the couch with the laptop, readin' some blogs, when I hear a sound, look up and over to where the sweetest one is sitting, to find him looking at me with a grin on his face. Immediately after, he covers this same sweet face with his hands and says, "something smells bad in here!"

First time smelling his own noxious creation. Priceless.

First Day

We made it. Both of us.
Picked up little man from his first day of pre-K yesterday afternoon - when I got there, I had a second or two of Mommy-peeping-tom-time to watch him in action. There he stood, with kids on both sides of him, bent over the munchkin-sized table putting a puzzle together. My little guy.

Well, my stalking time was over pretty quickly because I was caught by one of his classmates who yelled,
"Beee-innn! Your Maaa-uuuumm isth hee-rrr!" (extra syllables courtesy of a good, southern upbringing, thankyouverymuch)

He looked up and I could see that he didn't see me at first, but once he did, he dropped his puzzle pieces and ran across the room yelling, "Mommmy!!!!" Awwww. Does a mommy's heart good.

So, on the drive home, I asked him how he liked his first day of school. Did he have fun? Did he behave? Did he like his new teacher and new room and new classmates? Yes to all. And that's it. That's all I got.
Got the daily report from his homework folder (pre-K homework?!?) with information on what his class is working on and what their objectives were, etc. Shows he participated in everything, but that's about it. Nothing really personalized except the little blurb on the bottom of the page saying, "Ben had a good day, enjoyed story time and working in centers today".

Well, for the muchly-anticipated and muchly-dreaded, first day of pre-K; I guess everything went pretty ok. No one (read: me) ran screaming down the hall of the preschool, at least. Having a very busy day at the hospital yesterday, I didn't have much of a chance to think about what this new chapter in Ben's life meant for me (cuz it's all about me, y'know....) So, we survived. He's growing up. And there's not a thing I can do about it....and honestly, I wouldn't if I could.

My little man is doing great, thanks for asking. He's unbelieveably smart, wickedly funny, super-super sweet, compassionate/caring, ridiculously energetic, completely loving and full of joy. He's gonna be fine.

Thank you, Lord.
Well, we had a visitor in the bedroom. Of the lizard variety (actually, I think it's a skink?).
I spied it earlier in the day and tried my best to wrangle it out of the house, but, being faster than me (which isn't saying much....) it made it's way under the dresser and refused to budge. So, I left it to rot.

Later on I walked into the bedroom to get something, and came face to foot with the little bugger (his face, my feet). He had travelled across the bedroom to his new hiding place - under my bed. When I saw him again, he was just making his way out from under there, so we had a staring contest for a minute or two. Naturally, I called Ben in there to see it. It's not everyday a boy gets to see a real lizard in his mommy and daddy's bedroom, y'know....

Of course, Ben runs straight toward it; causing said lizard/skink to high-tail it back under the bed. Great. I'm destined to sleep with a lizard carcass under my bed?

Well, not being easily offended (obviously) Ben got down on his hands and knees, pulled up the bed skirt and said at the top of his lungs, "Wizzard! Where ARREE jew??" (had a little trouble with his y's and j's).

Then, "Wizzard!! COMMEEERRR!!"

Had I not recently emptied my bladder, I probably would have at that point......
I just wish we had cameras taping at the time....mighta won on America's Funniest.

Never caught the wizzard.

remembering, con'td.

Just got finished giving an emergency bath. Sitting here at the computer, I hear a little voice from behind me say, "What dat, Mommy?" Upon further inspection, I see something strongly resembling a pile of chocolate pudding on the kitchen floor. Knowing that I don't have any chocolate pudding in the house, but wishing that I did; I quickly jumped up to take a closer look.

Approximately 1/4 to 1/2 a cup of poopie in pile form somehow found itself on my kitchen floor.

Again, knowing for certain there is no chocolate pudding in the house and that I hadn't just relieved myself; for I felt no relief, I quickly made the assumption (cuz' I'm shmart like that) we'd had an Official Diaper Release. Not only had we had an ODR, but there had been entire Thigh to Foot Smearage. The worst kind.

Further investigation found that prior to the sweet voice asking the aforementioned question, there appeared to have been some 'pokeage'.
The index finger of the right hand had been used (best poking finger, obviously, as evidenced by it's priority use as Nose Picker).
Hence the emergency bath. Oh, the joys of Motherhood. Guess the question, "what dat, mommy?" is never something you really want to hear.
But, all clean and sweet smelling again now. Both of us.


Got a couple of stories I wanted to share from when little man was smaller.....entertain yourself while I go find a few......

Little boy, growing up

Four years ago, the sweetest hubby and me welcomed into our hearts and home a certain little blue-eyed baby boy - soon to become known as the sweetest boy in Georgia. For anyone and everyone close to us, and who've been touched by this super-duper-little perpetual-motion-machine; thank you for loving him as much as we do.
Next week - on August 11, to be exact; this same little guy will start Pre-K. Now, he's been in preschool and has completely mastered that....but this, well, this is a big step. For both of us. For all of us. (ok, probably bigger for me, the mommy, than him, the little man.....let's get real, here)
Before Ben was born/adopted, I was a full-time nurse. Monday-Friday, with some weekend call work. Not too bad. Kinda used to it. Enter the miraculous birth of the sweetest boy in Ga. I was able to take an almost 3 month "maternity leave". When that time was over, I thought I'd be able to drop this little bundle off at our church daycare and start right back to work, same as before. Nope. Not a chance.
Somehow, in such a short time, this little parasite had moved into my heart and taken over. The sweetest hubby, who is also the smartest hubby in the world and who understands me better'n anybody; knew that it was very important for me to be at home with my baby boy. So, my 'back to work full-time' lasted maybe a week. With my hubby's blessings, I was able to take a prn position in my department working only two days a week; no weekends and no holidays. (how great is that?) The rest of the week, I got to spend with my baby boy. What an unbelievable gift. Something I'll always treasure and something I'll never regret.
Amazing, though, how time flies.
Fast-forward to next week. Pre-K. Now, in just a few days, my little man will be heading off for 'school' -- 5 days a week. I'm still working part-time; when we moved to the Big City, I got a part-time job so I could still stay home with Ben a couple of days a week - and, again, sweetest hubby agreed and understood. (see a theme here? ain't he sumpthin?)
I new this day would come, I just didn't know it would be so soon.... we went shopping for school supplies this past weekend, and went out last night for new underwear and socks. Gotta have new underwear for big boy school. Power Rangers and Incredible Hulk. Spiderman has been put on the shelf for a little while. (don't worry, Spidey, you were the first- and the best - superhero, for my little superhero...)
So, it's off to school next week. For the first time, ever, my little boy will be without me for longer than he's with me. I can't decide if I want to just lock him up in the closet and keep him for myself....or let him go. I can't keep him from the bad things in the world, but I want to. I know, sheesh, it's just preschool. But things are tough out there for a kid!
I want to protect him from ever being hurt; physically or emotionally. I know kids can be so mean; even the ones that are supposed to be your friends. I want him to feel loved by his 'teachers', not to be treated as just another kid; I want him to keep his sweet, sweet spirit. I want him to keep his innocence and imagination. I want him to excel in everything he does - but not so much that he's not able to still have fun and have friends. I want him to learn and soak up everything around him.
Oh, there's a million and one things that I want for this little man. I want him to be happy. and secure. and safe. and feel loved. and wanted. and confident. and strong. and compassionate. and joyful. and forgiven. and saved. and loved. Loved.
Feeling a bit sad, but down deep inside, happy too.....because my little blue-eyed baby boy is growing up. Thanks for listening.

Ben's story

Once Upon a Time, in a not-so faraway kingdom and not-so long ago time, a man and a woman lived and wished and hoped and prayed for a baby they could love all for their very own, forever and ever....they wanted more than anything to be called Mommy and Daddy.
Many years came and went; but their wishes, their hopes and their prayers didn’t come to pass; for you see, this man and this woman weren’t able to have a baby on their own. But God knew the wishes and hopes and (most importantly) He heard all the way from Heaven - the prayers from this man and this woman.
Then, He made a miracle happen!

Somewhere in time, God made a secret plan! He decided that this man and this woman would be the perfect Mommy and Daddy for a very, very special little blue-eyed baby boy. But, in order for His wonderful and miraculous plan to be fulfilled, God had to bring together two young people, each from very different and very far-away parts of the world; to a big, big city with lots and lots of bright lights, and millions and millions of people. It took God only one night, but in that one night, a very, very special blue-eyed baby boy was created.

Time passed for the man and the woman: still wishing and hoping and praying for a baby; when one evening their phone rang. The woman answered the phone and a Nice Lady on the phone (one of God’s special angels on earth) told the man and woman about the birth of a very, very special blue-eyed baby boy, and that the young couple, led by God, had chosen the man and the woman to be the special baby’s parents forever and ever and always! The man and the woman were so excited that their wishes and hopes and prayers had finally been answered!! They had been waiting for this call for what seemed to them like forever!!
The man and the woman immediately went out far and wide in the kingdom to get all the things their new baby son might need: little bitty bottles and formula to fill them; a stroller for exploring; a bouncy chair for when he wanted to sit up and, well, bounce; a car seat to ride safely throughout the kingdom; and the littlest and sweetest clothes and diapers you’ve ever seen...so many more things they’d need as time went by, and all of it to welcome this beautiful baby boy home. Their whole world would change, and soon, so would their names; for you see, now and for always, they would be known as Mommy and Daddy; and their very, very special blue-eyed baby boy would be given the name Ben.
Then, just a few days later, this very, very special, beautiful blue-eyed baby boy; who we now know and love so much, came home to live forever and ever and always with his Mommy and Daddy! Everyone in the kingdom rejoiced! Ben came home to a house so full of love and thankfulness to God for His secret, wonderful plan.

The kingdom of Mommy and Daddy and Ben is full of hugs and kisses and love and laughter, all because of the wonderful and secret, miraculous plan God had for a beautiful, blue-eyed baby boy....named Ben.

welcome to the fairytale

Wishes, hopes and dreams do come true......
That was/is the title of a story/book that I wrote for my little man to try to explain his 'story' to him somehow/sometime. I'd looked all over the internet to try to find the best possible way for us to explain adoption to the sweetest boy in the whole, wide world; but never could find the perfect way. I started this process when my sweetest boy was just a baby - he's 4 now. So, I decided a fairy tale would be (somewhat) appropriate because that's what I feel like I'm living. Call me corny and a sap, I don't care. This is my life and this is my (new) blog and if you don't like it, or believe it....go somewhere else. My, my. Tough ol' gal, ain't I?
So, here goes. I'm inviting you into my family, warts and all. Meet the sweetest hubby in the world - my number one guy; and the sweetest boy in the world - my number two guy. And me, I'm just T.