Sitting on the couch Thursday night, long after the kiddo had gone to bed (and I presumed was fast asleep) I had a visitor. He came walking into the living room in his underwear, crawled up on the couch with me, and said, "I can't sleep. Can I sit with you?"
Absolutely, baby.
So, after a few seconds of shuffling pillows, fleece blanket, Mom-parts and little boy-long-legs around - we're all comfy and snuggled in front of the tv. I'd been watching something on the Food Network, enjoying the thoughts that, hey! I could totally do that - if I had all the time in the world, a chef's kitchen, unlimited resources and someone to clean up after me!! (and a son that wouldn't turn his nose up at real food)
Well, I guess the show we were watching was bought and paid-for by Outback Steakhouse, because every commercial break included one from there. We discussed how yummy the steak and shrimp looked, then decided that we would talk Daddy into taking us there for supper Friday night. More snuggles n' cuddles and then it was back to bed for the little man.
Fast-forward to Friday afternoon. I had to make a mad dash to town before we went to out to eat, so I picked Ben up after school and off we went. We're about to get out of the car at the pharmacy when he informs me he'd had an 'accident' at school. Now, this is something we've been dealing with for a looonnng time. I think we have it licked, then it happens again. I just don't understand it at all. Well, this day, I may have over-reacted. A little. Ahem.
I couldn't believe it. We'd (meaning: he'd) done so well over the summer - a few accidents here and there, but for the most part, clean as a whistle. I've heard boys are at times tough to potty-train, but, geesh! He's 6 now! Potty-training has been over for years! I've come to the conclusion that he tries to ignore the urge. Ignore.Ignore.Ignore. Oops! Can't ignore anymore. Then, to top it off, when he can't ignore it anymore and he has an accident, he doesn't bother to tell anyone. Not that it's much of a secret anyway!
So, I was Angry Mommy. As we got out of the car and walked into the pharmacy, I threatened him to within an inch of his life with the ever popular: ifyouevensteponetoeawayfrommesohelpmeI'mgonna.......!!
We made our purchases and back out the door we went.
In the car on the way to meet Daddy, he was Mr. Chatterbox in the backseat. I still fumed in the front seat. Terse, one-word answers from me, interspersed with a few Ican'tbelieveyoudiditagain! and whatonearthwereyouthinking? spoken through clenched teeth...it doesn't take a rocket scientist...he knew I was NOT HAPPY.
Even though it was against my better judgment, we still went to Outback for supper. Remember up there where I mentioned the snuggles n' cuddles and talking about Outback for supper? Yeah. Well, that warm fuzzy feeling somehow evaporated, leaving behind an angry, not-nice person. Me. Mom of the Year.
I pulled into a parking spot, put the car in park and start to gather my things to get out, when I hear from the backseat: (you'll have to imagine the heartbreaking, shaky, I'm-about-to-bawl voice)
"Mom? Even though I stinkied in my pants, can you at least look on the bright side?"
The bright side?! And what is that?
"We're still a family and I still love you."
Maybe it was the August heat in Georgia. Maybe it was the little manipulator with blue eyes. Certainly, though, I melted. Right there in the Outback Steakhouse parking lot: a big puddle of Angry Mom. I leaned over and looked into those big blue eyes, welling with tears, and said "I know, baby. No matter what, we're always gonna be a family and I'll always, always love you."
Big hugs and kisses ensued. All was right with our world.
Bring on the steak and shrimp!!
*forgot to say that when we picked up the Daddy, HE was the one to take the stinky boy into the restroom at the office, strip him down and clean up the 'accident'....I might have drown him....just sayin'.
Showing posts with label bodily functions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bodily functions. Show all posts
Boys have a.....
Just got home picking up little man from school. His teacher said, "he said the funniest thing today''. Uh oh.
Seems that one of the little girls has a rash of some sort on her, um.....hmm. Well, how bout 'thatwhichshouldbecoveredbyundies'?
Evidently this was the topic of conversation out on the playground this afternoon, so of course the little girl pulled her top up and pants down to show this rash to her friends. Little man included. Not one to keep such things to himself, little man ran to his teacher and said,
"Miss Katie, ****** just showed me her penis!!"
Yeah.
Maybe a lesson in the subtle differences between a boy and a girl would be appropriate?
Glad his daddy is coming home tomorrow.
Seems that one of the little girls has a rash of some sort on her, um.....hmm. Well, how bout 'thatwhichshouldbecoveredbyundies'?
Evidently this was the topic of conversation out on the playground this afternoon, so of course the little girl pulled her top up and pants down to show this rash to her friends. Little man included. Not one to keep such things to himself, little man ran to his teacher and said,
"Miss Katie, ****** just showed me her penis!!"
Yeah.
Maybe a lesson in the subtle differences between a boy and a girl would be appropriate?
Glad his daddy is coming home tomorrow.
Wonka-poopie?
"Mom-my! I stinkied!!!"
Now, that is an announcement I enjoy hearing. Mostly because that means I don't have to clean up an "accident" in the undies. Yeah, we're still dealing with accidents from time to time. Boys.
Oh no, we can't be bothered with going to the bathroom to do our business when there is playing to be done.
So, off to the potty I go to see what I can do to help with clean-up duty. joy
I find one completely naked boy - leaning over, both hands on the toilet seat; perusing the results of his 'efforts'.
"look, Mom! the circle one looks like a gobstopper!"
Niiiiice. I sure hope that wasn't what Willy Wonka had in mind when he came up with the everlasting gobstopper. Ewww.
Now, that is an announcement I enjoy hearing. Mostly because that means I don't have to clean up an "accident" in the undies. Yeah, we're still dealing with accidents from time to time. Boys.
Oh no, we can't be bothered with going to the bathroom to do our business when there is playing to be done.
So, off to the potty I go to see what I can do to help with clean-up duty. joy
I find one completely naked boy - leaning over, both hands on the toilet seat; perusing the results of his 'efforts'.
"look, Mom! the circle one looks like a gobstopper!"
Niiiiice. I sure hope that wasn't what Willy Wonka had in mind when he came up with the everlasting gobstopper. Ewww.
Sushi, anyone?**
Ugh. Had a most enjoyable morning. Thanks for asking. Got up at 5am to get ready for work as usual on this rainy Friday morning, but soon after the first sip of (heaven sent) coffee, I - excuse the tmi here - had to go potty. Ah, yeah.
So 30 minutes later, I decide I should call into work to let them know that I might just possibly be a wee bit late. Made my way upstairs to get ready and woo hoo, here we go again. 15 minutes later I'm back on the phone waving the white flag. Nope, this gal ain't gonna make it in today.
Go straight for the medicine cabinet. Um.....Immodium? Anyone, anyone?
There it is. When did these things become horse-pills? Anyway, pop a couple and go back to the bedroom to plant myself back in the bed. Since the daddy has been out of town, I've had a visitor in my bed. An early riser, no less. Guess who's awake and watching 'Wow Wow Wubbzy'. Loverly.
Smile......."I'm hungry, mommy". gag
"Ok, sweetie, what do you want for breakfast?" gag/bleckh
"I want waffles without the chocolate* and chocolate". ugh
Smile......."Mommy, why don't you fix you somefing and me somefing and bring it up on a tray? gag
"Oh, sweetie, mommy feels like she'll throw up or crap her pants if she puts anything remotely like food in her mouth, but thanks."
Well, ok, that's what I thought in my head. What I really said was, "Mommy's not hungry right now, sweetie, but I'll fix your waffles and chocolate and bring it up for you." I'm sweet like that.
So, down the stairs again. My guts are having a great time. I've never had an alien in my gut, but I think this morning I can relate. Something is going on down there, and it ain't good.
Back up the stairs with little Lord Fauntleroy's breakfast tray, climb back into bed and pray he doesn't want another waffle. Soon, breakfast is finished and little man says the most wonderful words in the whole wide world......"mommy, I'm still sleepy." Ahhhh. I love this kid.
Lights off, tv off, covers up and it's back to sleep for both of us.
*I buy an assortment of frozen waffles for quick breakfasts for little man. One of the most recent purchases was a waffle that's half chocolate, half vanilla. Disgusting. But he eats it and it's supposedly 'fortified'. Whatever. So, when he asked me for a waffle without the chocolate, he means a plain waffle. The second chocolate is chocolate milk, of course. What else would you drink with a waffle and syrup but chocolate milk? gaaaaaagg
**Oh, forgot to explain the sushi, anyone? title. Yesterday evening I took my visiting in-laws to a local sushi place. Nope, never been there before, but everyone that is anyone says it's the best in town. Blah, blah, blah. Not sure if that's what cause my GI distress or not, but I'd be willing to bet it had a hand in it..........
So 30 minutes later, I decide I should call into work to let them know that I might just possibly be a wee bit late. Made my way upstairs to get ready and woo hoo, here we go again. 15 minutes later I'm back on the phone waving the white flag. Nope, this gal ain't gonna make it in today.
Go straight for the medicine cabinet. Um.....Immodium? Anyone, anyone?
There it is. When did these things become horse-pills? Anyway, pop a couple and go back to the bedroom to plant myself back in the bed. Since the daddy has been out of town, I've had a visitor in my bed. An early riser, no less. Guess who's awake and watching 'Wow Wow Wubbzy'. Loverly.
Smile......."I'm hungry, mommy". gag
"Ok, sweetie, what do you want for breakfast?" gag/bleckh
"I want waffles without the chocolate* and chocolate". ugh
Smile......."Mommy, why don't you fix you somefing and me somefing and bring it up on a tray? gag
"Oh, sweetie, mommy feels like she'll throw up or crap her pants if she puts anything remotely like food in her mouth, but thanks."
Well, ok, that's what I thought in my head. What I really said was, "Mommy's not hungry right now, sweetie, but I'll fix your waffles and chocolate and bring it up for you." I'm sweet like that.
So, down the stairs again. My guts are having a great time. I've never had an alien in my gut, but I think this morning I can relate. Something is going on down there, and it ain't good.
Back up the stairs with little Lord Fauntleroy's breakfast tray, climb back into bed and pray he doesn't want another waffle. Soon, breakfast is finished and little man says the most wonderful words in the whole wide world......"mommy, I'm still sleepy." Ahhhh. I love this kid.
Lights off, tv off, covers up and it's back to sleep for both of us.
*I buy an assortment of frozen waffles for quick breakfasts for little man. One of the most recent purchases was a waffle that's half chocolate, half vanilla. Disgusting. But he eats it and it's supposedly 'fortified'. Whatever. So, when he asked me for a waffle without the chocolate, he means a plain waffle. The second chocolate is chocolate milk, of course. What else would you drink with a waffle and syrup but chocolate milk? gaaaaaagg
**Oh, forgot to explain the sushi, anyone? title. Yesterday evening I took my visiting in-laws to a local sushi place. Nope, never been there before, but everyone that is anyone says it's the best in town. Blah, blah, blah. Not sure if that's what cause my GI distress or not, but I'd be willing to bet it had a hand in it..........
Belly aches and accidents
Yesterday afternoon, I got a call from little man's pre-K teacher saying that he'd had a couple of "accidents" and he'd been complaining that his tummy hurt; so, I hopped in the car to pick him up around 1:30 or so. Got him home, settled him onto the comfy chair with the remote and 'his shows', then went to throw the noxious evidence of his sick tummy (clothes) into the wash. One word. Yuck.
He' s been battling a sick tummy since Tuesday, when he got up saying his tummy hurt. Had him sit on the potty before school, with good results, thankyouverymuch. Called the hospital to tell them I was dealing with a potential sick kid, and that I'd either be late, or not be coming in at all. Then, I snuggled with the potential sick kid for a while in the comfy chair to see if there were any more problems, or episodes. After 30 minutes or so with nothing, I asked him how he felt.
"I feel good."
"You want to go to school now?"
"Yeh."
So, off we go. Actually, he wanted his daddy to take him, so off they went and off I went to the hospital. Fast forward to late Tuesday afternoon. I'm checking my cell phone to see if I had any important calls or whatever (yeah, right. I'm such a social butterfly....) and I see that I have a message from the school. Great. That's never good.
So, I'm circling down the parking garage - floor by floor - all the while trying not to crash because I'm fumbling with my blasted phone trying to get to my voicemails. Yep, you guessed it. Little man had had several accidents and they were out of clean clothes, could we come pick him up a little early? Now, mind you, it's now 4:50. I had to work a little over, normally I get off at 4. Of all the days that I needed to get off on time (or early) this was one. But, it didn't happen.
Two things: 1)I don't carry my phone with me in the department - too much potential nasty stuff for it to fall into......nuf' said. And, 2)If they needed me to come get him early, WHY didn't they call me at work? Or the Daddy at work???
So, all I could think about was what my poor little guy was doing about clothes (is he nekkid???), and he was really sick and I'd made him go to school, and am I the worst mommy in the world????
When I got to the school, he looked like a little orphan. But a happy little orphan. No, he didn't look, nor act, sick at all. In fact, when I got there, he and two other kids were playing swords with these dowel thingys - um, can we say, not a good idea??? Anywho, since they'd gone through all his clean clothes, they'd given him some out of the lost and found, or somewhere. But, bless his heart, he had on a pair of shorts that were too short - fit in the waist, but waay short; girls maybe? and an Oshkosh long-sleeved t-shirt that on him, looked like 3/4 length sleeves.
But, you know what the first thing he said to me was? Well, after "MOMM!!", he said, "Look at my NEW clothes!!!!" He was thrilled!
What a kid.
He' s been battling a sick tummy since Tuesday, when he got up saying his tummy hurt. Had him sit on the potty before school, with good results, thankyouverymuch. Called the hospital to tell them I was dealing with a potential sick kid, and that I'd either be late, or not be coming in at all. Then, I snuggled with the potential sick kid for a while in the comfy chair to see if there were any more problems, or episodes. After 30 minutes or so with nothing, I asked him how he felt.
"I feel good."
"You want to go to school now?"
"Yeh."
So, off we go. Actually, he wanted his daddy to take him, so off they went and off I went to the hospital. Fast forward to late Tuesday afternoon. I'm checking my cell phone to see if I had any important calls or whatever (yeah, right. I'm such a social butterfly....) and I see that I have a message from the school. Great. That's never good.
So, I'm circling down the parking garage - floor by floor - all the while trying not to crash because I'm fumbling with my blasted phone trying to get to my voicemails. Yep, you guessed it. Little man had had several accidents and they were out of clean clothes, could we come pick him up a little early? Now, mind you, it's now 4:50. I had to work a little over, normally I get off at 4. Of all the days that I needed to get off on time (or early) this was one. But, it didn't happen.
Two things: 1)I don't carry my phone with me in the department - too much potential nasty stuff for it to fall into......nuf' said. And, 2)If they needed me to come get him early, WHY didn't they call me at work? Or the Daddy at work???
So, all I could think about was what my poor little guy was doing about clothes (is he nekkid???), and he was really sick and I'd made him go to school, and am I the worst mommy in the world????
When I got to the school, he looked like a little orphan. But a happy little orphan. No, he didn't look, nor act, sick at all. In fact, when I got there, he and two other kids were playing swords with these dowel thingys - um, can we say, not a good idea??? Anywho, since they'd gone through all his clean clothes, they'd given him some out of the lost and found, or somewhere. But, bless his heart, he had on a pair of shorts that were too short - fit in the waist, but waay short; girls maybe? and an Oshkosh long-sleeved t-shirt that on him, looked like 3/4 length sleeves.
But, you know what the first thing he said to me was? Well, after "MOMM!!", he said, "Look at my NEW clothes!!!!" He was thrilled!
What a kid.
ooh, that smell
The sweetest boy in the world just tooted.
I'm sittin' here on the couch with the laptop, readin' some blogs, when I hear a sound, look up and over to where the sweetest one is sitting, to find him looking at me with a grin on his face. Immediately after, he covers this same sweet face with his hands and says, "something smells bad in here!"
I'm sittin' here on the couch with the laptop, readin' some blogs, when I hear a sound, look up and over to where the sweetest one is sitting, to find him looking at me with a grin on his face. Immediately after, he covers this same sweet face with his hands and says, "something smells bad in here!"
First time smelling his own noxious creation. Priceless.
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