the one where we shop, smell, stumble in the dark and Mommy wants to kick some butt.

Had the oh-so enjoyable treat last Sunday night to go out amongst the other procrastinators to try to get our Christmas shopping done; took the little man, adding exponentially to the treat factor. (Cause you never quite know what you're gonna get....)

We'd done pretty well (good?) we'd made the most of our time and checked off a good bit of the purchases for the folks on our list. One last stop before leaving Macy's: we headed over to the cologne counter for the sweetest hubby. Our clerk was a young woman that immediately took a 'shine' to my little guy. She'd offer the little cards spritzed with cologne to him first, then, he'd take a sniff and tell us how he liked it. She seemed to get a kick out of it and so did he.
So, we picked out what we wanted, paid for our selection and then started to leave. As we did, the clerk asked Ben if he wanted some samples to take home. Well, of course, he did! So, she gave him 3 little envelopes with cologne samples. You'd think she had given him the best present in the world! He was so thrilled! His own cologne!!! He tried to shove the envelopes in his pockets, but they wouldn't all fit, so I stuffed two of them in my purse and let him hold one. He was so proud.

We then had to make a trip down to the Hollister store for my nephew's present - oy.
I can tell I'm getting old. We walked into the store, noting first thing that the music is so stinking loud, you can't hear yourself think! And could somebody please tell the powers that be to turn on the lights!! How on earth can you shop in the dark??? FYI.....I have no idea what color shirt I bought my nephew. I just don't understand it. Anywho.
So, there we were, stumbling in the dark - ears ringing and head throbbing - shopping for a shirt. My sweet smelling little boy walked past me and on further into the black hole that is Hollister. Just ahead of him, stands 3 (probably) teenage boys. I don't know if they're shoppers, or if they work's too dark to tell. But, nevertheless, they're standing right where Ben is heading. I pause a minute to see what he's up to - what I see next surprises me. Just as he gets closer to the big boys, my little boy pulls his new cologne out and holds it out in his hand. He looks at his hand, adjusts it just so. I know what he's doing. He wants so bad for them to notice. I can see it. I see how he holds it out, nonchalantly (as nonchalant as a 5 year old can be). I got a little stab in my heart at that moment. My eyes started to sting a little, surprising me.
I don't know if it was sadness, or sweetness or what, but I felt so touched by the little scene that played before me. Oh, and no, the boys didn't notice. They were too wrapped up in their teenage selves to even note his presence on their radar. He wasn't even a blip.
My baby was undeterred, though. He just kept his prize in his hand.
Mommy wanted to go shake some boys though. They'd done absolutely nothing wrong, but to the Mom of the sweetest boy in the whole wide world, they'd committed a crime most heinous: they'd not noticed my baby when he wanted nothing more than to be noticed.
Acceptance and the need to 'fit in' comes unbelievably early and can last a lifetime.

Tragedy times two

Today is Love Thursday. This is love lost.

We heard last night that a little girl had been hit by a car yesterday afternoon getting off the school bus. We knew she was a kindergartener at Ben's school. We didn't know until this morning that she'd died from her injuries. We didn't know until this morning that she was one of Ben's classmates. Her name is Karla Campos, she was 5 years old. And she was an angel.
I'll miss you, sweet girl.