The Big Day

My orders were to have scrambled eggs, bacon and biscuits ready for breakfast.
Well, everything but the biscuits came through. Cinnamon toast instead.
Greg got the sleepyhead up around 6:45 this morning so we'd have plenty of time to get everything done before having to go to the bus stop. He was still a bit groggy, but excited. I had a million butterflies in my stomach.

We talked last night before bed - reviewing what to expect, how to act, what the pick up plans were - I wanted him to be ready...so he wouldn't be scared. I think it was more for me than him, but, he listened - maybe he felt something of what I was feeling. I don't know.

So, we ate. Then got dressed, brushed, combed, back-packed. Grabbed the camera and out the door. Stopped to take pictures on the front step - we could see the neighbors and their kids all heading to the new bus stop up the hill.....not long now...gotta hurry. The parade of kids and parents with cameras started to pick up in number as we got closer. Cobb county's recent change in bus stops created quite a crowd on the corner.

Ben immediately started making the rounds - he had to see everybody and show them his new back pack. My social butterfly strikes again. I snapped a few pictures and wished we had a few more quiet minutes at home so we could have gone over the day again, but just a few minutes after we got there, the big yellow bus came over the hill. I could hear the excited comments from the opposite side of the crowd -

'here it comes!'
'the BUS!, it's here!!'
'come here, give me a hug'
'just one more picture!'

It came too fast! Greg grabbed Ben and gave him a big hug, kiss and a wish for a great day. I was trying to get pictures and walk with him - hug and kiss for me and then he was in the line....with the biggest smile on his face. He waited in line to climb aboard - he'd look ahead, then look at us, smile, then look ahead. He was ready! He never hesitated - climbed right on board with no wavering of the smile. Someone told him where to sit - the Kindergarten students sit at the front, right near the driver - so Ben got in the first seat, next to the door. I could barely see him over the cushion at the front of the bus, but he'd stand up and smile and wave for me.

As the doors closed, someone must have said something to get his attention in the bus because he turned his head away from us. Then, the bus started rolling and I didn't see his face again until we got to the school.

Yes, you read it right. We ran back to the house, got the car and drove over to the school so we could get pictures of him going into his class for the first time. Now, we'd discussed this, too.
I made sure to let him know it was simply because Mom and Dad wanted pictures of his first day at school - not because Mommy thought she'd break down without one more hug, oh no.
It was simply a photo op.

So, off we all go to walk him to his class - the excited smile remained throughout the walk through the gym, down the hall; to the Kindergarten wing of the school. Once again, my social butterfly greeted everyone he saw with a cheerful, 'good morning'; a few he questioned, 'did you see my new back pack?' I'd say he's pretty proud of it, no?

Since we weren't allowed in the classroom, we took a few pictures out in the hall. More hugs and kisses and then sent him on in. He was ready, again.
He never faltered, never looked back. We peeked in and I made sure the teacher had him down for ASP this afternoon - she did - so, we had no reason to stay.

We left the way we came, with big smiles. Never wavering.

Well, not much.

Hi, I'm your new neighbor.

Arrrggh. Ok. I'm not the social butterfly I appear to be. Heh.

So, we're new here: in this town, in this subdivision Ok, so I'm still considering us as new here. It's less than a year, so we're still new. Right? Anyway. I'm not real good in most social situations where I don't know anyone, I just don't feel comfortable. Gimme a group of folks I know, and I can have a great time - completely comfortable. Not a worry in the world.
But plop me down in the middle of a group that I don't know and I feel completely out of my element.

Tonight our street had its annual Labor Day get-together. I felt obliged to go, for a couple of reasons. I've been feeling guilty that we haven't attended any of the other little get togethers that have been scheduled. I want to get to know my neighbors and have friends here; and most importantly - little man needs to get to know his neighbors too and hopefully find a buddy or twelve to play with...so, for the little man, I went. I unfolded, stretched out and dusted off my butterfly wings and we took off down the street.

Now, needless to say - but I will - I felt quite conspicuous coming down the street - just me and the kiddo. The sweet hubby was up to his knees in yard work, so he couldn't go. Little man wanted to ride his bike, so I got him all safety-helmeted-up and we headed down the driveway. As we left the driveway, we both realized (a little late) that the street has a pretty good downhill slope to it - funny, I never noticed it went downhill - until little man started to rocket past me. Did he remember how to apply the brakes? Oh, sure. Well, he got off the bike, and I got to pull it alongside me. Now, back to the conspicuous part. So, here we come around the curve of the street to the cul-de-sac, just me and LM. The party is obviously in full swing by now, so EVERYONE on the street is there. And here we come. Kinda hard to make a quiet entrance with a 4 year old in a bicycle helmet, who is excited beyond belief at his first look at the inflatable in the front yard. Had I not controlled him, he would have run ahead and left me, the social butterfly, to walk up alone. Ugh.

Now, once we got there and I got the helmet off and the bike put away, I let him loose. It's so easy for him - just go headfirst and see what happens. So then, I too, head to the inflatable where my little 'just jump right in the middle of it all' kid is. There I see a couple from two doors down, so I force myself over to talk to them - went very well, I think. Very nice. But then what? Can I commandeer you guys for the rest of the evening???? Nah. I knew that wouldn't work, so I had to try again. And again. And again.

All in all, I guess it went ok. But, if I hadn't made the first steps, again and again; I wouldn't have had a soul to talk to. Once or twice, the person I'd be talking to would have to go handle something or other - like a crying kid or whatever - so I'd find myself wandering over to the inflatable under the guise of checking on LM.....just so I wouldn't be standing in the middle of some un-named neighbors' yard alone.

I'm soooo uncomfortable, and oh yeah, I'm sure I hid it sooooo well, but yet, no one came running to my side to help me out. What's the deal? There were several groups sitting or standing around, and I barged into one or two, but sheesh! Can't you see I don't know a soul and you guys are not making it any easier for me? Everyone there knew everyone there - but me.

I really hope it'll get better and easier. These folks are very nice, I just have to get over my social anxiety and just go for it, like the LM does.

But, man. Things were so much easier when we were hermits and lived in the woods.