Nursing

Got this question/comment from my sweet, soon to be 17 year old, 'neice'. She had read the blog I posted about Life, Love and Loss. Following is what I responded to her......
I think she'll be a great nurse.

aunt teri, how u doin? dont get to talk to u that much, but i thought ud like to know im gonna be a r.n. too. um, when u do lose a patient how does it affect u? i mean that's the major thing im worried about. suprisingly, i have a heart and im afraid it would just shatter if i lost someone. how do u deal with it?



Hey, sweetie. I didn't know that! Congrats on deciding! I've been a nurse now for um, almost 20 years and I can remember every single patient that I've had that has died. Believe it or not, it hasn't been that many, but they all were memorable.I have no question that you have a heart. I think you're awesome and your heart is too.

You'll find yourself after a while noticing that you have a bit of a shell formed. Not too hard a shell, but a shell all the same. It makes it easier to keep the enormity of what you experience from day to day from effecting you so much. The shell is sometimes disguised as humor - some awful things can be tough to bear and your humor will get you through. Medical folks have a wicked sense of humor - along with the ability to sit at the lunch table together, telling absolutely disgusting stories while eating a bologna sammich! :p

I've worked on several codes over the years and while I'm involved, I'm thinking about what the person means to the folks he/she is close to. Is she a grandma? Is someone waiting at home for him to get out of the hospital? Does he fish? Like to cook? Whats so tough is to see the work going on around the patient and then seeing the patient - where just a heartbeat before, they may have been talking, or whatever, and the next minute they're being worked on to literally save their life. Whatever that life may have been, good or bad, it's a life.

I also say a prayer. Every time.
I wonder if, like in the movies, the 'spirit' of the person is up above me, looking down. I absolutely know that at that time, the spirit of God may be in that room, and He's there to take that person home. Are there angels in the room? Ready to lead the way? I hope that's the case. I hope that the patient has had a saving relationship with the Father. What a beautiful thought that the person we're working on is now in the arms of our holy Father and we're just going through the motions, doing what we can until someone calls the code finished.

So, to sum it up. Yes, you'll be shattered. But you'll get through. And you'll remember every single person. You'll remember and you'll know that you did absolutely everything in your power but to no avail. And you'll pray. And maybe look up in the corner of the room and see the fleeting vision of heaven open up to welcome one of God's children home. And you'll remember.
I love you, kiddo.
Aunt Teri