Hi, I'm your new neighbor.

Arrrggh. Ok. I'm not the social butterfly I appear to be. Heh.

So, we're new here: in this town, in this subdivision Ok, so I'm still considering us as new here. It's less than a year, so we're still new. Right? Anyway. I'm not real good in most social situations where I don't know anyone, I just don't feel comfortable. Gimme a group of folks I know, and I can have a great time - completely comfortable. Not a worry in the world.
But plop me down in the middle of a group that I don't know and I feel completely out of my element.

Tonight our street had its annual Labor Day get-together. I felt obliged to go, for a couple of reasons. I've been feeling guilty that we haven't attended any of the other little get togethers that have been scheduled. I want to get to know my neighbors and have friends here; and most importantly - little man needs to get to know his neighbors too and hopefully find a buddy or twelve to play with...so, for the little man, I went. I unfolded, stretched out and dusted off my butterfly wings and we took off down the street.

Now, needless to say - but I will - I felt quite conspicuous coming down the street - just me and the kiddo. The sweet hubby was up to his knees in yard work, so he couldn't go. Little man wanted to ride his bike, so I got him all safety-helmeted-up and we headed down the driveway. As we left the driveway, we both realized (a little late) that the street has a pretty good downhill slope to it - funny, I never noticed it went downhill - until little man started to rocket past me. Did he remember how to apply the brakes? Oh, sure. Well, he got off the bike, and I got to pull it alongside me. Now, back to the conspicuous part. So, here we come around the curve of the street to the cul-de-sac, just me and LM. The party is obviously in full swing by now, so EVERYONE on the street is there. And here we come. Kinda hard to make a quiet entrance with a 4 year old in a bicycle helmet, who is excited beyond belief at his first look at the inflatable in the front yard. Had I not controlled him, he would have run ahead and left me, the social butterfly, to walk up alone. Ugh.

Now, once we got there and I got the helmet off and the bike put away, I let him loose. It's so easy for him - just go headfirst and see what happens. So then, I too, head to the inflatable where my little 'just jump right in the middle of it all' kid is. There I see a couple from two doors down, so I force myself over to talk to them - went very well, I think. Very nice. But then what? Can I commandeer you guys for the rest of the evening???? Nah. I knew that wouldn't work, so I had to try again. And again. And again.

All in all, I guess it went ok. But, if I hadn't made the first steps, again and again; I wouldn't have had a soul to talk to. Once or twice, the person I'd be talking to would have to go handle something or other - like a crying kid or whatever - so I'd find myself wandering over to the inflatable under the guise of checking on LM.....just so I wouldn't be standing in the middle of some un-named neighbors' yard alone.

I'm soooo uncomfortable, and oh yeah, I'm sure I hid it sooooo well, but yet, no one came running to my side to help me out. What's the deal? There were several groups sitting or standing around, and I barged into one or two, but sheesh! Can't you see I don't know a soul and you guys are not making it any easier for me? Everyone there knew everyone there - but me.

I really hope it'll get better and easier. These folks are very nice, I just have to get over my social anxiety and just go for it, like the LM does.

But, man. Things were so much easier when we were hermits and lived in the woods.