wishes,hopes and dreams

yo quiero taco mio!!

2011-11-03T17:10:00.002-04:00

Every afternoon, on our way home from school I typically ask Ben a few things - how his day went, whadja' eat for lunch, any problems at school, etc.   Tuesday afternoon was no different as we drove the short distance home....lunch consisted of pb&j, his day went 'fine', and no, there were no problems. Then:

me: Want anything special for supper?
him:   Can we have tacos?
me: Sure! I have taco stuff!
him: Can we have tacos tonight and spaghetti tomorrow night?
me: Sure, no problem!

We get home, argue over homework for way too long, and then I piddle around a little til it's time for me to start supper. Fast forward 30-45 minutes or so, the Daddy walks in the door from work. Ben comes in from the living room - where he's been glued to the tv - to greet his Daddy. As he's walking around the bar into the kitchen, he asks me if the tacos are ready.

Crickets.

Tacos?!

Ah! Oh no! Giggle!

I made spaghetti!!!

Somehow, when I opened the pantry door to get out the taco kit, I must have had spaghetti on the brain and pulled that out instead! It nevereverever even occurred to me as I was up to my elbows in noodles and sauce that I was making the wrong meal!
All was forgiven, though, as long as I promised we could have tacos tomorrow night - Wednesday.

Now, normally we try to eat Wednesday night supper at church - it's always good, it's cheap, and easy on the Mama - but yesterday the meal they had planned was something that I knew Ben would not eat, so I intended to go home and make the promised tacos. Wednesday afternoon riding home from school same routine - same answers too, now that I think about it......anyway......

We get home a little later than I had intended when I made the plan/promise to make tacos for him, so I asked him would it be ok if we skip the tacos (again!) and maybe have some hot dogs? He laughed and said, sure. (why yes, I'm catering to a 7 year old.....what?) So, hot dogs it was!

And another promise for tacos 'tomorrow night'.

This morning I was reminded of my taco promise.   My baby wants tacos!!

Just got a call from the Daddy. Looks like we're gonna have to skip the tacos again tonight.....

Who wants to break the news to the little man?

Melancholy

2011-10-24T11:10:00.001-04:00

Feeling a little melancholy this morning, maybe it's the season? The leaves are changing, it's getting cooler outside - Fall is here. Soon, Thanksgiving and then all too quickly Christmas will be here and gone. Another year, passed.

Where has time gone?  Maybe it's because my days and weeks are spent the same - I treasure the quiet of my days off work, with time to myself to spend as I wish. My work days are made better because I get to see my friends, not because of any great feeling of accomplishment anymore. When did that change? Am I making a difference there? Occasional glimpses of a higher purpose appear, but they're few and far between.

I got to spend some time with Mama last week when she and Dan-man came to stay with us while Greg was gone on his annual fishing trip. I don't know how good my company was, but I really enjoyed her visit. (Thanks, Mama for taking care of me!) You always amaze me with how you never complain about doing something for one of us. Well, maybe you do, but I never hear it. I know very few people who would make an apple pie at 10:30 at night just because. If the grand kids want pizza, and then want something else, and then something else...you're on it. And the #1 rule: 'Grandma overrules the Mama' stands well and true.

My memories of my childhood are fleeting - I don't remember many day to day events, and as I get older, even things that I thought I'd always remember at the time, are gone.  That makes me sad.
I allow things to come and go, moments that I think to myself, "I need to go write that down" only to be distracted by something - the moment passes, along with the memory.

I want time to stop sometimes - or at least slow down for goodness sakes! Maybe it's me? Maybe I need to savor each moment as it comes a little more. Allowing the moment to sink in a little deeper, grow roots...so that when I want to re-visit that time, I'll be able to remember.

photo credit: Shari Weinsheimer

A day or three in the life of a boy

2011-10-10T12:50:00.000-04:00

This n' that. Bits n' pieces. Here n' there over the past few days.

Thursday:
Little man piped up from the back seat to tell us that he'd volunteered to be on the Student Council at school. (2nd grade student council??) He said that when his teacher asked for volunteers, he and two other boys stepped forward. He said if he wasn't chosen as a representative, he might still get to be the alternate when the rep wasn't there.
So proud he wants to help!   Now, my question is, what kind of decisions will second graders be making? I can just see it now......Recess! Candy! No school on Mondays! Hamburgers every day! :)

*update: found out last night that Ben was not chosen to be on the SC. They had three volunteers but only two positions, so somebody had to be the losing candidate. Broke my heart when he told me that he didn't get enough votes.   He did tell me: "I voted for myself, is that ok?"    :)
Maybe next time, sweetie.

Sunday morning:
A friend from church passed on a little tidbit of information to me from Children's Church. During the lesson, the leader asked the kids what their feelings were when they saw a homeless person. Obviously, each child gave a different answer - feel sorry for them, or wonder why they're homeless, etc. Ben's answer? He said he thinks, "maybe they could come and live with me".

Sunday night/Monday morning:
At bedtime last night, I asked Ben what he'd rather do in the morning: ride the bus or be a 'car rider' to school. (On Mondays & Fridays he has a choice because I don't work on those days.  FYI - there's a BIG difference in the time he - and I - have to get up depending on which mode of transportation he chooses.) His answer last night was to ride the bus. Joy. Not the answer I'd hoped to hear.....that meant we'd have to be up by 6am.
Goodnight kisses given, I head off to the kitchen to get the coffee pot ready for my bleary-eyed-morning-self. Then it was off to bed for me.
Fast forward to this morning. Awakened by the alarm, I stumble my bleary-eyed-self into the kitchen to the coffee pot. Pour myself a cup, take a few sips (ok, half a cup) to clear the cobwebs, then head in to wake the child.
Let me just pause here to ask, is there anything sweeter in this whole wide world than a sleeping child? Even this wild, loud monkey boy that smells like a billy goat most of the time is a vision of angelic peace when he sleeps.   Ok, picking up where we left off....
I crawl into bed with my sweet sleepy child, say his name and tell him it's time to get up. He stretches and then doesn't move again. Has he gone back to sleep?   I remind him that if he wants to go back to sleep and just let me take him to school, that he could sleep for another hour - but if he planned to ride the bus, he needed to get up now.
My sweet baby then turned to me and asked me if I wanted to go back to sleep. When I told him no baby, I'm ok - he said he'd go ahead and get up too.
We headed to the living room couch where he joined me for an early morning snuggle.  40 minutes later, we were still there as the schoolbus stopped out in front of the house.
We ignored it.

I love that stinky, wild, billy-goat-smelling, monkey boy.

bad dreams

2011-10-07T11:36:00.000-04:00

Alarm clock read 7:00am. Little man was already awake, but not out of bed yet. Kisses and good morning hugs given, then he told me he'd had a bad dream. When I questioned him about it, he told me that there were three 'bad guys' in the garage and he couldn't get away from them. Their crime? They "had written on Daddy's truck with a crayon".

He was very brave though, he said he'd kicked them in the face and then closed the garage door.
When we told Daddy about the dream, he and Ben went out in the garage just to make sure they were gone for good. Nope, no sign of them! Guess they knew not to mess with my little man anymore!

9/11

2011-09-12T00:41:00.000-04:00

Earlier tonight just before little man's bedtime, as we were watching the beginning moments of a show remembering 9/11, the footage showed one of the poor souls who fell or leapt from one of the towers. I quickly put my hand over Ben's eyes and ushered him out of the living room to his bedroom - all the while listening to: "What was it, Mom?", "What was that falling?"
I told him that there are some bad things in life that I feel like I have to protect him from, and at this point, I didn't think it was something he should see. He's 7, I'm....um, not....and I have a hard time watching it and wrapping my brain around the horror - how is his little mind going to process something so terrible?

My baby is still my baby - at least for another day.

First Day of School!!!

2011-08-04T06:19:00.000-04:00

Today is the day. I have your clothes all ready. I've packed up your backpack with your bright, shiny new school supplies.  I'll pull the camera out in a few minutes so I'll be sure to have it for the required First Day of School Pictures. After breakfast, we'll get ready and I'll take you to school.

I'm going to walk with you down the long hallway and insist that you put your hand in mine.  When we get to the door of your new classroom, I'm going to kneel down (not nearly as far as last year, you're getting so big) give you a big hug and a kiss...if you let me. Be prepared: I know I'll try to sneak in another hug before you escape. Then, I'll tell you to have a great first day of school. And remind you to be good for your new teacher. And I'll miss you! Another hug? Maybe.

You'll go in to your new adventure. I'll smile and turn away, but my heart will still be there. My baby is in the second grade.

Seven

2011-05-01T16:38:00.000-04:00

Dear Ben,

You, my little man, are now seven years old. Seven. S-e-v-e-n!! Oh dear.

To top that off - in just a few short days, you will be finished with first grade! Now wait just a dang minute. There's no way you're already seven and finishing first grade?! How is this possible?

Your feet are almost as big as mine. I know: I tried on your flip flops.

You're getting taller by the minute! All of your jeans have obviously been stolen and replaced with another child's much shorter jeans (who also have the propensity to rip the left and only the left knee....amazing coincidence, yes?)

You're getting stronger and faster every day. We wrestle on the couch and I have to remind you that I'm a girl, and we're more gentle with girls! Then you whack me on the head.

You have your own crazy sense of humor. You kill me with your booty-shaking dance moves. Everything is better loud and fast.   And loud.

You're hungry ALL THE TIME.   My ears bleed from hearing, "Mama, can I have a snack?", or after supper: "I'm still hungry".

You have amazed and astounded me with your mad baseball skillz this season. To see the difference over such a short period of time - what a change! All in stride for you though. (I love watching you play!!)

You're open and honest. A true friend and social butterfly: you've never met a stranger.

Your laugh is still as infectious as ever. Your energy is non-stop. (And loud.)
You meet life head-on, and wide-open, bubba!  Your sweetness is over-powering. You grow more beautiful each and every day.  You still allow me to hold you and snuggle from time to time; these are among the minutes I treasure.

You are and always will be a very special little boy.  You were my gift from heaven, I am blessed beyond measure to be your Mom.   Happy Birthday, my sweet baby boy!

me: "I love you."
you: "I love you more."
me: "I love you most."

With all my love,

Mom

Unhappy Yellow Jackets

2011-04-19T06:07:00.000-04:00

I don't think I've mentioned the fact that the little man started playing baseball in the spring, if I have, I don't remember and I'm too sleepy to click over to check and then click back to come back here: it's 5:30 in the mornin' here, people. I don't have near enough coffee in me yet to do a whole lot of serious thinking. Forgive me.
We've had maybe 4-5 games (again with the thinking problem...maybe I should wait to finish this post when I'm more awake) and, until last night, they've won every one!!
Some games were a little closer than others; had a couple of real nail-biters and a few down-right blow outs.
Last nights game was a wringing-hands-ulcer-inducing-pacing-the-fenceline-screaming"Yayyyy!!" then groaning inside (and sometimes audibly) kind of game. When the boys made a mistake or someone who normally can just about hit it out of the park struck out, the moms sitting near me in the crowd felt it as sure as if we were playing right alongside them. Ben had a pretty good game, all in all. He went 2 for 3; only had one ball get past him in centerfield and got to be catcher for one inning. I lovelovelove to watch him play.
We had a few tears from some of the players and even a couple of bad attitudes; Coach had to give them the post-game talk about being sore losers.
We'll be back at practice on Thursday night, and we have another game on Saturday; we'll see how it goes. I'll be watching from the fenceline, as always, cheering my little player on.

silly tiger

2011-04-11T13:05:00.000-04:00

A couple of weeks ago, the little man had a project to do for school. This particular project was assigned by the Media Specialist.....um, for those who went to school (like me) prior to the super-secret-renaming of faculty-event, that would be the Librarian. Now, why and when the name changed, I don't know. Remember we're late to this parenting a school-aged child thing. Anyway....

So, this project was a research paper of sorts.  The ~~librarian~~, oops, media specialist (!) helped him research his subject: tigers. She had helped him write out several key points and then sent the information home for him to use to write his paper.   As we sat going through the information together, well....somewhat together....SOMEone wasn't too thrilled to be sitting at the table doing homework, when, quite possibly he might be missing his very favorite show that he's seen a thousand times and ohmygoodness! I-just-can't-sit-here-any-longer-Mama-because-I'm-soooooo-tiiiiirrrrredddd-and-do-we-have-to-do-this-noooooowww?????

Around this time, the Daddy came in to save the day; my glaring and threatening of bodily harm obviously wasn't working. He sat down at the table, reviewed the instructions for the paper and we all worked on it together. We had a pretty good system: Ben would read the information, we'd discuss it and then we'd decide if it needed to be included in the report.   It only needed to be three paragraphs, so it wasn't all that detailed. Our paragraphs were to include what tigers eat, where do tigers live, and how many cubs do tigers usually have. To make sure the finished product was as neat as could be, Ben dictated the information - in his words -  to me, as I wrote it onto a separate piece of paper.

We'd finally finished gathering the information, so he started to transfer the information over in his handwriting.  Roles were reversed: I dictated, he wrote.   I allowed him to have some freedom with his spelling, that is, unless he was really off on a particular word - I allowed a fair amount of mistakes, planning to come back at the completion of the paper to make corrections.

Minutes pass. Time to proof-read and correct mistakes; more groaning and whining ensue. Ok, so maybe it wasn't such a good idea to let him write everything out and then expect him to correct his mistakes afterward. Whatever.

At the point in the paper covering what tigers eat, I observed the following portion of a sentence, as written by Ben:

   ".....a tigers diet can include beer, badgers, rabbits...."

As I'm reading the sentence aloud to him, I say,

    "...a tigers diet can include beer and pretzels...."

By now, he's sitting on my lap, so he snapped his head around, giving me a surprised look and tells me that's not what it says!
I picked up the paper to peer at it closely and said, "Oh! Just beer! Ok, I see. A tigers diet can include beer. Hmm. I didn't know that."

It takes a few minutes of giggling and me forcing him to re-read his sentence for him to see that he'd written beer instead of deer.

Yes, we corrected it.

Even though I do know a few Tigers whose diets consist of beer and pretzels. Just sayin'.

Sweet dreams, little man

2011-03-16T06:06:00.000-04:00

At some point last night as I sat on the couch, mindlessly watching Cupcake Wars on tv, I had a visitor make his way into my lap. He didn't say a word, just walked over and crawled up and sat down. I covered his legs up with the ever-present fleece blanket, but didn't say a word. For once, he was being quiet and still, so I just sat there with my 50 lb baby in my lap and breathed him in.

A little while later, I whispered a "thank you for coming to sit with me" in his ear, to which I received a whispered, "you're welcome".

A little while later than that, I noticed the visitors breathing started to change. I peeked around the head resting on my chest to see his eyelashes make one last effort to stay open and then close softly; revealing the peaceful face of an angel.

I could have gotten up at that point to carry him to bed, but I didn't. These sweet moments are not as common any more. No, I savored every minute of it. My visitor stayed, sleeping peacefully on my lap. My sweet baby boy, sweet dreams.

Maxine's Mystic Revelers*

2011-02-28T12:19:00.000-05:00

Good Monday Morning! Spent the weekend on the Gulf Coast for what has become our family's annual Mardi Gras trip - and boy, we were paraded out by the time Sunday rolled around! It's so nice to get together with the extended family for a time - lots of laughter, food, and definitely noise! We are one loud group! Just ask the neighbors! Ahem.

Brought home bags full (literally) of cheap Mardi Gras stuff - beads, stuffed animals, plastic crabs, candy, Moon Pies, cups, dubloons, etc etc. The little man wanted to take some beads to his classmates this morning, so I counted out 40 strands of the multicolored beads, explained to him that he would be able to give each friend 2 strands and that he needed to make sure it would be ok with his teacher before he started passing them around. I sent a note with him, addressed to her, regarding the beads. I hope he's able to give them out without causing too much of a ruckus in the classroom. I ~~threatened~~ told him absolutely no throwing of beads in the classroom!!!
I hope he listened.

Happy Mardi Gras, everybody!

*MMR - our 'Offical' Krewe name. :)

of chivalry and oral hygeine

2011-02-21T11:59:00.000-05:00

While visiting (and enjoying every minute of it!) a friend's blog this morning, I came across a sweet post she wrote about her Gentleman-in-Training, Jonathan. It reminded me of my little man and his first demonstrations of chivalry yesterday.

We were leaving for church; just the two of us - Greg had gone earlier; and, as usual, we were running late. Most of the conversation consisted of: "hurry up....go brush your teeth!....why aren't you dressed?......shoes?...where are your shoes?.....no, you can't take your DS to church.....did you brush your teeth?....please brush your teeth!......did you brush all of your teeth?.....let's go....let's goooo!" You know, a typical Sunday morning.

I grabbed my purse, keys, etc. Ben got his little bag that holds his Bible, and a straw. Yes, a drinking straw. I don't know why, he just did. Into his mouth it goes. (maybe I should afix a brush to it so I don't have to remind him forty times to brush his teeth)

As we walked out to the car, he's his usual chatterbox self; but as we made our way around the front of the car, he paused at my door, shifted his bag to his other shoulder, and opened the car door for me! Then he proceeded to his door, stopped and smiled at me - complete with the straw sticking out of the corner of his mouth. What a gentleman! I gave him a quick squeeze, kiss and thank you, snatched the straw out of his mouth, and away we went to church.

When we got there, we gathered our things and walked (somewhat) together to the door. Reminders of: don't run in the hall, don't forget to give your tithe envelope to your teacher, be good in class, etc. We get almost to the door, when my little gentleman rushes ahead, opens the door and holds it for me! Another quick hug and kiss for my sweet boy - who is immensely proud of himself, by the way.

Looking back over yesterday morning, after typing this out; I see that an awful lot of the morning was spent with me saying "don't do this...don't do that....behave....remember not to...." I should temper my reminders with a little more praise. He didn't have to be told to open the doors for me, he just did it, out of the kindness of his heart. All the correction and rushing and do this! don't do that!....was it needed? Is that what he's going to remember? Mama was always harping on me to do something or other?
He was just being himself, a little boy. I wouldn't want it any other way.

And besides, these baby teeth are all gonna fall out anyway, right?

Love is.....

2011-02-14T14:20:00.000-05:00

changing the oil in my car...
taking the garbage out that I leave sitting by the door - 8 steps away from the garbage can...
sweeping up packing peanuts in the middle of the night because you said you'd clean up the mess...
buying Valentine's cards for me from you and our little man...
building a fire because "I'm cold" is something you hear repeatedly - AND we can roast marshmallows...then, making the perfect marshmallow for yourself...
going to work every day for our family...
our little family...
taking care of things...
never giving up on me...
sentimental...
thoughtful...
sweet...
funny...
sometimes stressed-out...
never forgotten...
always calling on the way home from work...
insisting on date nights...
a wonderful Daddy to our son...
comfortable...
for always...

Love is: You....and so much more.

Happy Valentine's Day to my sweetie. I love you.

Five + One = Six

2011-02-07T10:58:00.000-05:00

I'm learning. Slowly, it seems, but I'm learning. I chose to not make a comment the other day when every fiber of my being wanted to! We'd been working on little man's 100th day of school t-shirt project; we'd discussed what he wanted to decorate his t-shirt with, and we made the trip into town to Michael's to get the things.

His decorations? Balls. 100 of them: baseballs, footballs, soccer balls, and basketballs. His favorites.

As we stood in the aisle, I tried to use the occasion as a 'teaching moment'.   (The balls were actually stickers, probably made for scrapbookers, but I figured they would stick to a t-shirt well enough to work...maybe not for long-term use, but they'd last through the day!)
The stickers come packaged in a cellophane sleeve in groups of 5, so I helped him count out 100. He can count to 100 easily, but I wanted to help him do it by 5s, and then (making it quicker for me) 25s.   I showed him that 25 + 25 + 25 + 25 = 100.   We went over it several times. And by, "we went over it several times", I mean: I went over it several times.....to his lack of interest. Next, after many many minutes of ~~arguing and whining~~ discussion, we decided on a black t-shirt for the ball stickers. I paid for the items and off we went.

We spent a good 45 minutes a couple of nights later working on the project. More ~~arguing and whining~~ discussion about how the items should be placed on the t-shirt - finally, we grouped them in the simplest of ways - chaotically: no specific pattern...completely random. There were balls everywhere!   It actually turned out pretty cute, even if it was a little harum-scarum.
Sent the t-shirt and the little man off to school the next day, hoping for a good grade for ~~our~~ his project.

That afternoon on the ride home from school is where I had my little lesson on keeping my mouth shut. I asked the little man how his presentation went (oh yeah, forgot to tell ya they had to "present" their work....explaining how they'd come to choose their objects, and how they'd grouped their objects on the shirt. I'm sure that was entertaining.)
He told me it went "good", but he'd had too many balls on his shirt; the teacher counted them and he'd had 105. I was immediately on the defensive, because I knew I was right and she was wrong....I mean, we counted the wrappers over and over and over! Remember my 'teaching moment'??? But for some reason, I kept my mouth shut. We got home from school, he parked himself in front of the tv, I went to quietly dig through the garbage.

I found the cellophane wrappers that had held the stickers and sure enough, for whatever reason, the basketballs were packaged in groups of 6. Why? I have no idea. But I missed it. Completely.   And because I missed it, I never even thought of counting the stupid balls as we stuck them to the t-shirt. Because of my mistake, he probably won't get the best grade he could have gotten.

Now, did I come clean? To him, yes. I told him I'd missed the fact that the basketballs had more than 5 in the package.

To his teacher? No. Maybe I should have, I don't know. It was supposed to be his project. I'm a rotten mom - I let the 6 year old take the heat. Would it have done any good to tell? I don't know.

The kid? Completely unfazed by the whole thing.

Me? Going back to elementary math class.

You are:

2010-12-16T05:00:00.010-05:00

Celebrating your birthday today. And might I say, you absolutely, positively do NOT look this new age you're trying on for the first time today.

A wonderful wife, mother and grandmother (to grandbabies biological and adopted).

A truly gifted musician. Your talent, with true humility, has touched me more times than I can remember.

A fellow coffee and chocolate lover. 'Nuff said.

A priceless gift from God to those who know you and love you.

A beautiful person, inside and out.

An awesome fish..er..person.....fisherwoman?....fisherlady?

The owner of the most infectious laugh! Your joy shines through your eyes, overwhelming mere mortals like me with its warmth.

The most eloquent prayer warrior. I picture God smiling from ear to ear whenever I'm blessed to listen in on your conversation with Him.

Obviously a saint - for putting up with your trouble-making husband for all these years.

A wonderful teacher - your love of music is your gift to the children you teach.

A true friend.

An absolute blessing to me and my family.

Thank you for all that you do (and have done) for our family; for being right there with us during a really sad and confusing season - comforting when needed, always praying, and loving us through it all. Then, rejoicing with us when a crazy little monkey boy came into the world and into our hearts. You were there all along - loving him from the day he was born. Thank you for being a very special part of our lives.

Happy Birthday, sweet Nonny!

Liar, liar, pants on fire.....

2010-12-10T10:12:00.000-05:00

These are the facts:   The little man came home yesterday afternoon with a bag full of gifts purchased from the Santa Shop at his school. Knowing good and well that I hadn't sent any money to school, I asked him where he'd gotten money for gifts. He responded that he'd found $10 on the floor at school, and used that. I told him he should have returned the money to his teacher or another adult, to which he said he had. Now, we'd probably been talking about this for 5-6 minutes at this point and this was the first time he'd mentioned giving the money to anyone . So, I tried to get him to backtrack and tell me the whole story again. I had a feeling we were jumping into something I didn't want to think about: outright lying.

He re-tells the whole incident. This time, of course, adding the fact that he'd given his teacher the money. I stopped him mid-story and asked him if he'd told her he'd found it: "No."    Ok.   Then, what did she say when you handed her the money?  "Nothing."
Hmm. She said nothing when a 6 year old hands her a ten dollar bill? (I said I thought we might have a case of lying going on, I didn't say he was very good at it.)
I told him I would be seeing his teacher in the morning (today) and I'd find out the truth, and gave him ample opportunity to come clean. Nothing. He stuck to his story.   Fast forward to this morning, on the way to school.

Car: I have a crisp ten dollar bill in my pocket and a bunch of questions for the teacher. I ask the child in the backseat if there was anything he wanted to tell me before we got to the school and I spoke to Mrs. H?   Nope. Nothing.

School: Money in hand, I say good morning to Mrs. H., then start to say,  "Ben told me he found...." But before I could even get the sentence out, she had a smile on her face and was holding out a piece of paper for me to read. It was an email from another parent in the class. Needless to say, the story my child told me and the story related on the email were not the same.

The truth: The other child was sent to school with $20 to use at the Santa Shop. He made his purchases, and should have been given $11 back. The money was given to Mrs. H. to be returned to the child. Mrs. H. confirmed that she'd given the change to the child with the instructions to put it way deep into his pocket, so he wouldn't lose it.   This is where my sweet child comes into the story (and this is also where the story gets a wee bit confusing).    According to the email, at some point during the day, the little boy gave my child $10 to "rent" a book. (?) Not one to let money sit around for long, Ben went on a shopping spree at the Santa Shop.   I don't know what else the little boy told his mom, but I do know now that the story we got was a complete falsehood.

Where do we go from here? When given multiple opportunities to redeem himself, he wouldn't.  I understand that maybe he thought since the little boy had given him the money, he felt like he could use it as he wished - but why would he make up a story about finding it? And then, knowing I'd find out the truth, he doggedly stuck to his story?!

Well, hopefully, there will be no bad feelings between the children, his parents and our family. I don't know them at all, I don't even know which child it is in the class - but we've returned the money, so I hope this is over and done with. Mrs. H. said she'd go over the incident with both boys today and see what she could do to straighten things out.

What's next?

Good morning

2010-10-08T08:48:00.002-04:00

Woke the little man this morning with a kiss and a back scratch.
The usual: "up, down, over" directions started long before all the cobwebs were cleared.

Scratch. Direct. Rub.

"No, Mom! Scratch!" Oops. Pardon me, sir.

More directions: "down, down, down". Down to the perfect little boy bottom covered in tighty whities.

"I am NOT scratching your bottom, mister!" as I poked it with my finger.

Giggling, he said, "That's not my botttom, Mama, those are my bottom boobs!"

No, that's not a word we normally use. I've heard him say it before referring to my, um...lady parts....and have corrected him immediately, but this morning I didn't. I laughed.

I'm probably gonna regret that.

Change a life

2010-09-27T13:17:00.000-04:00

Spent a bit of time away from my guys this past weekend - first time ever being away from them both (at the same time) that I can recall! Went to Atlanta with a group of 50-something gals from church to the Women of Faith Conference, where we heard several wonderful speakers: Patsy Clairmont, Andy Andrews, Anita Renfroe and MaryBeth Chapman to name a few. Oh! And music. MUSIC!! Oh my!!
Mandisa - girl!  She is full of awesomesauce!
Sandi Patti - no words can begin to describe the talent.
And best of all: Steven Curtis Chapman. Oh my goodness....my heart just breaks with the beauty of the words and music he makes.

While at the conference, I learned about a program called World Vision. We saw a very moving video about a woman who, through WV, had sponsored a child in Ethiopia. This video and the words spoken afterward led me to make the decision to help out a child too. I made my way to the World Vision table. There, I stood for a few minutes looking at the many, many photos of children from all parts of the globe that so need our help. Many had eyes that were much older than their age. In those eyes, I saw hopelessness and fear;   things no child should ever have to experience.

I asked for a child near Ben's age because I can't bear the thought that there are children out there, not much different than my baby, who are hungry or scared or hopeless.   So, after a few minutes of searching, I found our sponsor child. He's 6 years old; he lives in Brazil with his mother and 4 siblings. His name is Ruan.

I came home with his profile in a folder, waiting for the right time to bring it up. I want this to be something that I can do with Ben, to teach him how very blessed we are (he is) and so that he will know that not everyone is as fortunate.   Greg went upstairs to play his guitar (probably looking for a little down-time -- being the only entertainment to a very active son for the weekend will certainly wear a guy out!!) I sat my sweet little boy next to me on the couch and told him I wanted to talk to him about something very important. He sat still, listening as I told him about a little boy named Ruan that lives in Brazil. We read his profile together.   We looked at his picture and we talked about the fact that Ruan and Ben are the same age, and probably likes to do some of the same things he does; but the big difference is that where our family has so much, his family has very little.

I asked him, "You know how when we go to the store, you sometimes say, 'Mama can I have this toy' and most of the time, I'll say yes? Well, Ruan's Mom - even though she'd love to - probably can't do that."

Then, after reading in the profile about Ruan's lack of food, I explained, "You know how when you ask me if you can have a snack after school, and I say sure? Then you go to the cupboard and get whatever snack you want? Well, Ruan isn't able to do that either because his family isn't able to afford much more than rice and beans."

I know that he probably doesn't entirely comprehend why he's able to have everything he needs/desires, when this little boy isn't,  but I know he got it.   As soon as I told him we were going to be sponsoring Ruan by sending our money to help, he got up and ran to his bedroom. He went to his piggybank and brought back a handful of change and a dollar. He said, "Can I send this? Will this help?"

I'd told Ben that one of the great things about sponsoring Ruan was that he could write letters and even send pictures to him.   So, we got out paper and pencil and these are the words Ben wrote to his new friend:

     Dear Ruan,
         My name is Ben. I am six years old.   I live in Georgia. That is in the United States.
     We want to help you.  God loves you so much. Please write me back.
     From: Ben

Words written from my little boys heart, to another little boy half a world away.

If you'd like to know more about World Vision, here's the link:   http://www.worldvision.org/
I can't wait to get started.

"And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me." Matthew 18:5 (NIV)

football

2010-09-20T13:18:00.000-04:00

This snippet of conversation heard Saturday morning between Nana and Ben, on our way to Ben's Very First Ever(!) football game. Topic? Obviously: the upcoming game.

Nana asked Ben, "Did you know your Daddy was a football player?"

Ben: "But I thought he was an Engineer!"

:)

Needed

2010-09-17T09:54:00.000-04:00

There will come a day, I know, where I won't be as needed as I am now. I see glimpses of the future from time to time: Mr. Independent has been showing up more and more frequently at our house of late.   But occasionally, I'm still needed.

My schedule at work allows me to be off on Monday and Friday (yeah, I know: how awesome is that?) so, those days I get to take the short one to school.   I really enjoy being able to do that; I get to talk to him about his day, make plans for the evening, and most importantly - get a last minute hug and kiss that, I hope, will go with him all day.

This morning was no different. As we ~~broke several speeding laws~~ drove to the school, I told him I wasn't sure if I'd be able to walk him in (because we were running a little bit late and I'd have to find a place to park and I just didn't know if we'd make it in time, and, and, and!)    As it happened, we made excellent time ~~driving like a bat out of hell~~. As I was about to turn into the school entrance, he asked me if we were late. I said no, we've got plenty of time (booyah!). Then, the sweetest question: Do we have time for you to walk me in?
Oh, absolutely, sweetie!

I'm still needed. Whew.

"In all our contacts it is probably the sense of being really needed and wanted which gives us the greatest satisfaction and creates the most lasting bond."
Eleanor Roosevelt

Top this, 5-star restaurant!

2010-08-30T11:53:00.000-04:00

Last night's supper was basically a 'Fend for Yourself' affair. Leftovers, check: just heat 'em up yourself. Well, except for Ben - even though he makes a mean scrambled egg (with supervision!) I didn't force him to fix his own supper...I'm not that bad of a mom! Sheesh!
As I'd had a cup of coffee late in the afternoon that sort of took my appetite away, I didn't eat, thinking I'd just grab something a little later. ha

Probably an hour or so later, as we were sitting at the kitchen table working on spelling words, math problems and sight words, I decided to finally fix myself something to eat.  But, before I could throw anything together, something else came up and the opportunity for me to eat was lost.

More time passed.

Even later, at Ben's urging, we trudged outside to listen to the night sounds on the back porch - we had lots of rain this weekend; happy frogs make lots of noise! After we'd oohed and ahhed over the frog songs, The Daddy said sweetly, "I have an idea! Why don't you go make us some chocolate chip cookies, Mama?"
To which, The Son jumped up and down saying, "YES! Cookies! Mama!? Make some cookies!?!"
I answered, "Um. I don't think so. I still haven't had supper. Remember? And besides, it's after 8. No cookies tonight."   ~~As I laughed maniacally and shuffled off into the dark woods.~~..
The Daddy agreed, saying he didn't realize it was that late. Well, not five seconds after that, Ben jumped up to go inside. I peeked in on him to see what was so important that he had to run inside, only to find him in the kitchen - obviously up to something. So, we waited.

A few minutes later, my baby boy walked outside with a little plate. On that little plate was a sandwich and one of his snack bags of pre-cut apples with grapes. He'd made my supper!   The sandwich? Grape jelly and apricot preserves. He said he'd looked for the peanut butter in the cupboard but couldn't find it, so he just used apricot preserves instead.
After a quick hug, he rushed back inside to make me something to drink (and so Daddy could show him where the PB was). He returned with my drink (and the PB) and stood there, just beaming.

I lost it.

My sweet baby made my supper!

Daddy had to explain that Mom's tears were happy tears. I told him it was the best sandwich I'd ever, ever had. And it was.

I love him.

ps - this morning, as I helped him out of the shower, he said, "you're welcome for the supper last night" and gave me a warm, wet hug.

You did WHAT??

2010-08-16T13:16:00.001-04:00

Sitting on the couch Thursday night, long after the kiddo had gone to bed (and I presumed was fast asleep) I had a visitor. He came walking into the living room in his underwear, crawled up on the couch with me, and said, "I can't sleep. Can I sit with you?"
Absolutely, baby.

So, after a few seconds of shuffling pillows, fleece blanket, Mom-parts and little boy-long-legs around - we're all comfy and snuggled in front of the tv. I'd been watching something on the Food Network, enjoying the thoughts that, hey! I could totally do that - if I had all the time in the world, a chef's kitchen, unlimited resources and someone to clean up after me!! (and a son that wouldn't turn his nose up at real food)
Well, I guess the show we were watching was bought and paid-for by Outback Steakhouse, because every commercial break included one from there. We discussed how yummy the steak and shrimp looked, then decided that we would talk Daddy into taking us there for supper Friday night. More snuggles n' cuddles and then it was back to bed for the little man.
Fast-forward to Friday afternoon.   I had to make a mad dash to town before we went to out to eat, so I picked Ben up after school and off we went.   We're about to get out of the car at the pharmacy when he informs me he'd had an 'accident' at school. Now, this is something we've been dealing with for a looonnng time. I think we have it licked, then it happens again. I just don't understand it at all. Well, this day, I may have over-reacted. A little. Ahem.

I couldn't believe it. We'd (meaning: he'd) done so well over the summer - a few accidents here and there, but for the most part, clean as a whistle. I've heard boys are at times tough to potty-train, but, geesh! He's 6 now! Potty-training has been over for years!   I've come to the conclusion that he tries to ignore the urge. Ignore.Ignore.Ignore. Oops! Can't ignore anymore. Then, to top it off, when he can't ignore it anymore and he has an accident, he doesn't bother to tell anyone. Not that it's much of a secret anyway!
So, I was Angry Mommy.   As we got out of the car and walked into the pharmacy, I threatened him to within an inch of his life with the ever popular: ifyouevensteponetoeawayfrommesohelpmeI'mgonna.......!!
We made our purchases and back out the door we went.

In the car on the way to meet Daddy, he was Mr. Chatterbox in the backseat. I still fumed in the front seat.   Terse, one-word answers from me, interspersed with a few Ican'tbelieveyoudiditagain! and whatonearthwereyouthinking? spoken through clenched teeth...it doesn't take a rocket scientist...he knew I was NOT HAPPY.

Even though it was against my better judgment, we still went to Outback for supper. Remember up there where I mentioned the snuggles n' cuddles and talking about Outback for supper? Yeah. Well, that warm fuzzy feeling somehow evaporated, leaving behind an angry, not-nice person. Me. Mom of the Year.

I pulled into a parking spot, put the car in park and start to gather my things to get out, when I hear from the backseat: (you'll have to imagine the heartbreaking, shaky, I'm-about-to-bawl voice)
"Mom? Even though I stinkied in my pants, can you at least look on the bright side?"

The bright side?! And what is that?

"We're still a family and I still love you."

Maybe it was the August heat in Georgia. Maybe it was the little manipulator with blue eyes. Certainly, though, I melted. Right there in the Outback Steakhouse parking lot: a big puddle of Angry Mom. I leaned over and looked into those big blue eyes, welling with tears, and said "I know, baby. No matter what, we're always gonna be a family and I'll always, always love you."
Big hugs and kisses ensued. All was right with our world.

Bring on the steak and shrimp!!

*forgot to say that when we picked up the Daddy, HE was the one to take the stinky boy into the restroom at the office, strip him down and clean up the 'accident'....I might have drown him....just sayin'.

Free

2010-08-13T12:17:00.000-04:00

Free to a good home: Bad Attitude (size medium) Small spot of grumpy on the front, but not really noticeable unless you look at it in bright light. Or any light.
Condition: pretty shabby, but could be polished to restore its shine using a mixture of salt water, sand and sun. Very little elbow grease required.
Will deliver locally.

First Grader

2010-08-09T23:13:00.000-04:00

I've got your brand-spankin' new backpack all ready.   Your lunchbox is packed with all the things you told me that you wanted to take. I ironed your clothes, for what good it'll do - they'll be wrinkled before they've been on your body for 30 seconds.   Got ya the fastest tennis shoes we could find - and after a day of ~~arguing and whining~~ practice, you can even tie the laces! Yay!  I even bought you new socks and underwear.   I want your first day of school to be THE BEST. Top to bottom.

We celebrated your "Last Free Day" today, thanks to your Daddy. We had a great time together,  just the three of us; our little family.   It was your special day.
Roller skating this afternoon, you turned to us and asked, "Well, how'd I do?"
I said, "Awesome!"
Daddy said, "Great job, bud!"
You said, "I was looking for amazing."

You got it, bud. You're amazing to me. And Daddy.   Happy First Day of 1st Grade my little man.   I'll miss you being here with me on my days off.   You go, though, and show everybody else how amazing you are.

HELLLLPPP!!!

2010-07-24T21:49:00.000-04:00

Ok. I have a problem. See that Photobucket bug that's floating around behind my posts?? Yeah, that one. ANYBODY know how to get rid of it???
Oh, and another thing; please explain: I used my own pictures on my blog - why am I getting Photobucket notices anyway?!? Help! Anyone out there???

my sweet boy

2010-06-27T21:09:00.000-04:00

Oh, kiddo, you're all boy. You amaze me with your energy and your imagination. Unless you're sleeping, you're generally moving in some manner. Every spare second is spent using your imagination; usually fighting bad guys - complete with sound effects. Anything can be a weapon in your imagination, sometimes it's just your own super 'moves' that'll take 'em down. Karate, jujitsu? Who needs 'em?  I've never felt more safe than when you're defeating the bad guys in the living room.

You challenged your Daddy to a race tonight because you're convinced that you're faster than him now. Because we'd just eaten, the race had to be put off for a little while (somebody probably would've thrown up). But when that day comes, I'll be the referee. You're pretty quick - Daddy has his work cut out for him!

At supper tonight, you spent most of the time talking and dancing instead of eating.  So entertaining - we laughed and completely enjoyed your little show.

When we had to make a trip to the grocery store this afternoon, you grabbed my hand in the parking lot without me even asking.   And I got a sweet, sweet hug in the meat department for absolutely no reason.  Mommy needs those from time to time - even in the meat department!

You're growing up so fast. You are a such a pleasure to have around, little guy.   I'm unbelievable blessed.

Vacation question and answer session.

2010-06-25T12:20:00.000-04:00

Setting: Post-vacation-loaded car - somewhere between Orlando, FL and Waverly Hall, Ga.

Question: "Hey, sweetie - what was your favorite thing about vacation this year?"

Answer: "Swimming!"

Um. And how much money did we spend on theme park tickets again??

Question: "So, what was the next favorite thing about vacation?"

Answer: "Sleeping in the bed with y'all!"

O-kay...

Question: "What was your least favorite thing about vacation?"

Answer: "When you got sick."

Aww. Who cares about how much money we spent. That's just a sweetie right there.

Love and War

2010-06-07T14:18:00.000-04:00

I'm being shot in the brain by a Lego-storm-trooper-clone-thingy. I've suffered multiple head wounds at close range. Laser shots, 'power shoots', and blasters.
Medic!!

He said he was gonna "shoot my brain so I wouldn't love him anymore".
I told him (as I kissed his ENTIRE face) that there wasn't a gun, or laser, or blaster or cannon or ANYthing big enough to shoot that outta me!

He said, "Aww, c'mon Mom, stop kissin' me!"

Nope! Never! Everever will I do that.

rednecks-r-us

2010-05-17T09:58:00.000-04:00

Sitting here at the kitchen table, enjoying my coffee for breakfast, while I wait for the tv antenna (antennae?) installers - who were supposed to be here at 8 am...drums fingers on the table....

Just got buzzed by a visiting hummingbird! I'd noticed them this weekend, out front - going back and forth to the (empty) feeders. But this morning, he/she came right up to the kitchen window and peeked inside! Methinks he's trying to tell me something. Wonder what it could be?

Had a really nice weekend, thanks for asking! Friday night, the little man and his Daddy camped out in the back yard. Yeah, they really roughed it out there in the wilderness.....DH had to have his fan and they slept on a queen-sized inflatable mattress.
Me? I wasn't invited. Boys only.

Saturday morning, we had breakfast and then had to hurry over to the soccer field for little man's last soccer game of the season. So much fun watching the kids run and run and run. I'm jealous of all that energy! All in all, I think soccer was a good experience for Ben - he really seemed to enjoy the game and certainly enjoyed all the running. It's been so sweet to watch him out on the field - he kept a perpetual smile on his face, and would cheer his friends when they'd make a goal. Then, to see him run with his hands in the air, cheering after he'd made a goal was just priceless.

(oh, the installers just got here - it's 8:58 am)     (grr)

A few errands then back home for the day. Around lunchtime, we were overtaken by the sleepies while sitting on the back porch listening to the birds and enjoying the breeze. Being the rednecks that we are, we pulled the inflatable mattress (from the aforementioned tent) onto the back porch, and that's where my napping buddy and me had our Saturday afternoon nap.

Saturday night, I had a date with my hubby while little man had a date with his girlfriend(s)
B, C and of course, Nonny. We are so thankful to that wonderful family for welcoming little man (and us!) into their family.  They overlook the fact that he's a wild child and laugh at his antics just like real grandparents/aunts would! :)

Sunday morning: church, then lunch. I got to take another nap - not on the porch this time, though - and no napping buddy. I had to force myself, but I did it!
After supper, we had a really nice thundershower come through the area. There's few things we like more, so we went outside to enjoy it. Little man kept trying to stick his hand/head out to get them wet, so I told him just take your clothes off and then you can stand under the run-off from the roof. He looked at me like, really? I said sure, go ahead. (redneck, yes)
So he did. Crazy kid. It was cold!   After he'd been playing in it for a little while, I asked him if he wanted to 'take a shower', when he said yes, I went in to get his shampoo/body wash. So, to cap off the weekend, my little Harris County-redneck-son took a 'shower' on the back porch - in the rain.   Are we classy or what? He said he was going to tell his Kindergarten teacher today that he'd taken a shower in the rain.   Great.
Nice to meet ya, we're the Clampetts.

So, thats a recap of our weekend. How'd you show your redneck roots this weekend?

Welcome! (wipe your feet)

2010-05-14T14:04:00.000-04:00

Ok! I think it's presentable now. Come on in.
Whatcha think?
Do ya like? Do ya? Hmm??

Smells clean.
No leaks.
Really like the fresh flowers.

Yeah, I think we're good for a little while.

Welcome!

time for a re-do!!

2010-05-14T12:07:00.000-04:00

Pardon the mess....I'm attempting to redecorate. The sailboat had to go, tired of looking at it - not to mention the leaks! So, unless you want to help with the clean-up and all, you might want to come back a little bit later. (although, I do have an extra broom, and paint brush around here somewhere....)

love

2010-05-10T16:49:00.001-04:00

Had a great weekend with both sides of the family for Mother's Day. Spent Sunday morning at church with Nanny and Pop, then went to eat lunch with Granny at her assisted living facility, or her "house" according to Ben.   After we stuffed ourselves on good, old-fashioned Southern cookin', we went down to the river to celebrate with my Mama. (where we had the opportunity, again, to stuff ourselves - I think we were pretty good, though. I only had strawberry shortcake, little man had 2 more deviled eggs....adding to the 4 he had at our first lunch)

It was really a beautiful, if not a little chilly, day. We had a fire in the fire pit where we roasted marshmallows and made s'mores. Man! They're sweeter than I remembered from when I was a kid. (Oh yeah, I had s'mores too; guess I didn't do as well as I'd thought)

Our brother-in-law J brought his and the boys' kayaks. My little daredevil decided he'd like to try to kayak, too. So his Daddy snapped him in a life vest and helped him in his cousin's kayak. J taught him how to hold the paddle and off they went! This child knows no fear! He had a big smile on his face the entire time he was in the water....

We all got a little tickled when he got a bit too close to the pier across the inlet from my Aunt's place - bless his heart, he couldn't figure which way to paddle, so he pretty much crashed (gently) into the pier. Then, he couldn't quite figure out how to get out of his predicament, ie: how to "back it up".   Uncle J came to the rescue though, then he was off again.

We left around 6 pm or so to head home. We weren't in the truck for 20-25 minutes when I looked in the back seat and the little guy was out cold;  and yes, he then slept the entire trip. When we got home, his daddy carried him in the house and as we were walking, we asked him about his day and told him how proud we were of his kayaking 'abilities'.
His daddy said, "Boy, you can do anything, can't ya?"
Ben replied, "No. I can't do a back flip."

LOL! I guess everything else is a breeze, but those back flips - can't do 'em!!

________________________________________________________
My Mother's day was wonderful, too. I got a lovely card and some sweet-smelling lotion, shower gel and body spray from my little man (and his daddy). I also got hand-made cards and goodies that he made at school.   My favorite gift of all? My baby climbing into bed with me Sunday morning, a sweet smile, and a whispered, "Good morning, Mama". Complete with hug and kiss.

I love being mama to this sweet, sweet boy.

Happy 6th Birthday, Ben!!!

2010-05-01T20:48:00.001-04:00

You went to bed 5 years old. You woke up this morning and you had miraculously turned 6!! You're 6 years old!! Where has the time gone, little man?

Yesterday, you were just a little bigger than your (now favorite) stuffed bear named Bear.

Yesterday, you were all snuggled in your little onesie, playing with your feet. I gave you your bottle and you fell asleep with your belly full.

Yesterday, I held you in my arms while I rocked you and sang to you. Daddy doesn't know our secret; that I would sit with you in my lap all day, just so I could look at you and memorize your every feature, only getting up to go to the bathroom or to make you another bottle.

Yesterday, you had your first day of preschool. I took you and left you there at the school, worrying that you'd miss me or be scared - I was worried for nothing. You had a ball.

Yesterday, I surprised you by meeting your class at the Aquarium for your field trip. Your face lit up so bright when I told you that I'd been able to get off work unexpectedly and I could stay - and you didn't let go of my hand all day!

Yesterday, you started Kindergarten! You were so excited to be able to ride the school bus for the first time. You got on board with a wave and a smile and never looked back.

Yesterday, you rode your bike without the training wheels for the first time. We took the training wheels off and we gave it our best shot, and off you went! Now, you're doing tricks and nothing scares you at all. You were so excited to show Daddy your new accomplishment.

Yesterday, you wrapped Daddy and me around your little finger. Today, tomorrow and forever you will always be my baby. I'm so thankful to God for the special gift of YOU. Your heart, your spirit, your love of life, your energy, your beauty. All are gifts I'll treasure all the days of my life.

Happy 6th Birthday my little man. Mommy loves you so much.

peace

2010-04-12T12:04:00.001-04:00

I'm sitting on my new back porch. Yes, I have things that need to be done, and you're right, this ain't gettin' 'em done.   Hush.
But, just look.   Look outside! It's beautiful!   The sun is so bright, the sky has absolutely no clouds. The trees have completely changed over the last week and a half - there are new, tender leaves - the prettiest green you've ever seen! The dogwoods are in full bloom. The birds are singing from every corner of the yard. I hear no sounds other than the sounds of nature.   It's just beautiful.   And so peaceful.
This setting has a horrible worsening effect on my chronic daydreamitis. I remember ~~a hundred years ago~~ in elementary school, a teacher wrote, "Teri is a day-dreamer. She'd rather look out the window...blah blah blah."   Well, y'know what? I still am! I'd rather look out the window than do many, many things.
Oh, goodness, it's so peaceful and private and wonderful and lovely out here. I'm very, very happy to be here in this time and place.  Thank you, Lord, for leading us home.

backyard blessings

2010-04-10T11:56:00.000-04:00

We made our first fire in the firepit the other night. I'd bought hotdogs and marshmallows so we could enjoy some nice, charred food. I hear it's good for digestion.

We sat around the fire with our ~~weenies in the fire~~ wire-coat-hanger-impaled-supper and dessert (not at the same time, that's just gross) and talked about life and anything else that came to our minds. The first songs from the frogs down at the creek started just after dark. We made little man hush (not an easy task) so he could hear them; that little city boy has so much to learn about living in the country! I asked him - "what do you think they're saying, bud?"

His answer?

"they're saying thank you, God".

Yep, bud. I think they are. I really think they are.

Home

2010-03-22T10:33:00.004-04:00

The movers came on Wednesday to start packing us up for another move. We've been through this many times in our family history, but mostly BB*. This will be little man's 2nd move.

For anybody 'just visitin' my little corner of the blog world (hey y'all! welcome!!) a little back-story. We moved from our home of 10 years up to Atlanta about 2 years ago. When we made the move, we thought it would be for the last time. Funny how we forgot to take into account that we aren't in control of our futures. So, we put our house on the market and started planning to head back 'home'.

Home to our family is just 2 hours south of Atlanta. We have friends here that we've had for 10 years. Little man has friends here, too. Our church home is here. Little man has "grandparents" here: folks who love him as much as his real grandparents do. My special group of ladies that I love more than chocolate, are here. This is home.

But. Home is wherever our family is. Right now, we're living in an extended stay hotel. It's not bad, really. It has a little kitchen, (fun to try to see what I can cook for my family with one skillet, one small boiler and one medium boiler - oh, and no baking pans) a separate bedroom, and a living room.
We're doing ok here. Really.

Little man started his new school last week. He's, so far, enjoying it. On the way to school this morning, he asked me when we could go visit his old school. Y'know, that's the first time he's even brought it up since we left? He's been so excited about his new school, that I guess he just sort of forgot. I told him it'd be hard to go visit, but we could certainly send his class a postcard from here. Surely to goodness we'll be able to find a postcard somewhere, right??

So, we await the closing date for our home up there, and soon afterward, here. I'm ready to get back to normal. It's all a bit surreal, to be honest. My brain has had a hard time deciphering things - I forget where we are, who 'belongs' where, etc. But, I'll get it. I'll figure everything out, eventually.

We made the walk up the aisle yesterday to re-join our old church. (Oh yeah - the invitation song? "Lord, I'm Coming Home"). We're so glad to be back, but sad that the part of our lives 'up North' is over. We made wonderful friends in the short time we were there. We'll miss everyone at our church - especially our Sunday school friends, choir. My buddies at work - through all the hell we went through, one constant: our friendships. I'll miss you guys so much.

To repeat though - home is wherever our family is. Our family is whole; together and happy. Right now, we're enjoying a little vacation of sorts. It'll make getting into our new home that much sweeter. Right now, home is right here. And we're fine.

It's a hard-knock life.....

2010-03-19T17:30:00.000-04:00

Soooooo. We had a wee bit of an afterschool meltdown here this afternoon.....it was just your typical, run-of-the-mill little boy who had played too hard and was too tired so he fell asleep in the car on the way home from school and was SOOOO TIRED and sleepy that when we got to the hotel he COULDN'T POSSIBLY walk on his OWN and MAMA PLEEEEAAAASSSEEE, oh PLEEEAAASEE, carry me, because I just CAN'T WALK oh MAMA PLEEEASSSEE cause I'M SOOOO TIRED.
Then, when I denied him (egad!!) he had a bit of a personal crisis. His whole world imploded around him. I explained that I had too much stuff to carry and I couldn't carry him AND everything else, too. Rational, don't ya think? 5 year old + rational thought = bwahahahaa!!

Which he replied, "I know, I'll carry something too and then you can carry me!"
When I tried to explain that no, I wasn't going to do that because then I'd be carrying everything AND him. He didn't quite get it. Hence the meltdown and implosion.

Poor kiddo. What a mean Mommy he has.

celebration and sadness

2010-03-17T09:35:00.002-04:00

Little man's kindergarten class had a birthday party a week or so ago for Karla. On their way home from school, he told his Daddy all about the cake and how they celebrated her special day and that her father even came for the party. How tough was that walk, to come into the classroom for your deceased childs birthday party? God bless you, Mr. Campos.

And Happy Birthday, sweet angel in heaven.

Snow is snowy when it's snowing.....

2010-03-02T16:06:00.003-05:00

Here it is, March 2nd - my birthday - and once again we have snow in Atlanta. What's up with that? So, when school was released 2 hours early, little man flew off the bus with a huge smile on his face and came running, full-force, right into me - waiting at the end of the driveway.
"Can I go play, Mom?" "Can I?"

I tell him we have to get his clothes changed first (because he's wearing pajamas....not only do I share my birthday with my wombmate seester, but also Dr. Seuss! So today the kids got to bring their favorite Dr. Seuss book to school and got to wear their pjs, too).
Upstairs we go. I layered him up in sweats and blue jeans, then took him to the kitchen to wrap his feet in plastic wrap. Even though we've had at least 10 years worth of snow this winter alone, we don't own snow shoes. Why should we? We live in ATL, for heaven's sake! Just as soon as I go purchase a pair, any and all snow will disappear; never to be seen again. So, I do what my mama did for us - I wrapped those little piggies up tight - in plastic wrap.

Now, I believe I have one-upped Mama's old plastic wrap though - I pulled out my handy-dandy Glad Press n' Seal wrap and proceeded to seal those little pink toes up like a little hamburger patty ready for the freezer. I put his tennis shoes on over that, pulled his toboggan down over his ears, helped him with his gloves, zipped up his coat and sent him out into the white day.

Approximately one hour later, my little frozen feller came in, soaking wet. Everything but his piggies. They were dry and warm and perfectly pink.

I eated him.

Yes, Virginia......

2010-02-04T08:34:00.002-05:00

One of the many questions that tend to keep me up at night finally made it's way into conversation a couple of weekends ago. Completely out of the blue.
We were in the car, headed somewhere; the sweetest hubby was driving, little man was in the back seat and I - blissfully unaware that I'd have to make a huge decision in a few seconds - was in the front passenger seat.
The sweetest voice in the world piped up from the back, asking:

"Mom, is Santa Claus real?"

My stomach dropped. My eyes went wide. I turned my head slowly to the DH with a 'oh, crap, now what?' look. I tried to ignore the question. I tried to pretend I had misunderstood. Seconds felt like minutes, when finally, I said, "Why do you ask, baby?" (oh no, oh no, oh no!)

"Because, ****** told me at school, that Santa Claus isn't real." (name omitted to protect the innocent little creep that just about ruined my sweet baby's childhood fantasies......grrrrrr!!)

DH, at this point, asked me just who is this ****** kid? I told him he's a very sweet little boy in little man's class. I know his mom, she's super-nice - but, c'mon! They're 5!!! Even if you don't believe - don't go blabbering it to everybody!

So, here goes. I have to make a decision here - split-second, I might add - do I lie, and keep up the act; or go ahead and tell him the truth? Now, people, he's 5! He'll learn soon enough about all the bad things in life.
I decided to keep up the act. Let him (and me!) keep the magic for a little while longer. Oh, and yes, he knows the most important, true meaning of Christmas is Jesus' birth. But, Santa is a special little bit of lagniappe that I'm not willing to let go of. Yet.

So, I gave a tried and true politician-type answer..... er, non-answer.

I said, "Well, I believe in Santa. And Daddy, don't YOU believe in Santa?"

To which Daddy answered, "Absolutely!"

I said, "Didn't he bring you gifts this Christmas?"

Daddy then informed him that not everyone believes the same things that we do, and that's ok. We're not to judge what others believe.

Little man seemed ok with those answers and let the subject go. For now.

Now, I wait for the next questions. Whatever they may be.

Oh, and I've adopted this from a friend: If you don't believe, you don't receive.
(I believe, I believe!) :)

t-r-o-u-b-l-e

2010-01-20T15:07:00.004-05:00

Little man had to move his clip at school today....twice. He told me just as soon as he walked through the door, which is good. Mommy's not happy if she finds out on her own. Oh, and he also told me that he'd been wrongly accused by his BFF. Swears he didn't do it. (yes, they're always innocent...) Innocent maybe -but he still got in trouble enough to get a note sent home. This is Big Trouble at our house.

So, we're sitting at the bar having an afternoon snack and also discussing his punishment. When he gets a note home from school, the standard punishment is: no TV, no computer time, no outside time. He knows this - but, ya can't blame a kid for trying.

"when I finish my snack, can I go over to Miss Alicia's and play with their wii?"

"No, you can't. You can't watch tv or play games here, why do you think you can go over there and play?"

"because. well, can they come over here and play with my wii?" (we don't have a wii)

"No, they can't. Remember, you can't go outside."

"fine. I'll just go upstairs to my room and I won't do a puzzle for you anymore and I won't snuggle with you anymore"

"Why am I being punished for something you did at school?"

"because when you punish me sometimes you get punish" (his words. Oh, and it's all so clear now.)

As he's walking up the stairs, he calls out, accusingly:

"ok, then - when you're ready to let me go outside, you can come upstairs and get me, but you better hurry because I can fall asleep real fast."

Hmph. I guess he told me.

the one where we shop, smell, stumble in the dark and Mommy wants to kick some butt.

2009-12-22T18:33:00.005-05:00

Had the oh-so enjoyable treat last Sunday night to go out amongst the other procrastinators to try to get our Christmas shopping done; took the little man, adding exponentially to the treat factor. (Cause you never quite know what you're gonna get....)

We'd done pretty well (good?) we'd made the most of our time and checked off a good bit of the purchases for the folks on our list. One last stop before leaving Macy's: we headed over to the cologne counter for the sweetest hubby. Our clerk was a young woman that immediately took a 'shine' to my little guy. She'd offer the little cards spritzed with cologne to him first, then, he'd take a sniff and tell us how he liked it. She seemed to get a kick out of it and so did he.
So, we picked out what we wanted, paid for our selection and then started to leave. As we did, the clerk asked Ben if he wanted some samples to take home. Well, of course, he did! So, she gave him 3 little envelopes with cologne samples. You'd think she had given him the best present in the world! He was so thrilled! His own cologne!!! He tried to shove the envelopes in his pockets, but they wouldn't all fit, so I stuffed two of them in my purse and let him hold one. He was so proud.

We then had to make a trip down to the Hollister store for my nephew's present - oy.
I can tell I'm getting old. We walked into the store, noting first thing that the music is so stinking loud, you can't hear yourself think! And could somebody please tell the powers that be to turn on the lights!! How on earth can you shop in the dark??? FYI.....I have no idea what color shirt I bought my nephew. I just don't understand it. Anywho.
So, there we were, stumbling in the dark - ears ringing and head throbbing - shopping for a shirt. My sweet smelling little boy walked past me and on further into the black hole that is Hollister. Just ahead of him, stands 3 (probably) teenage boys. I don't know if they're shoppers, or if they work there....it's too dark to tell. But, nevertheless, they're standing right where Ben is heading. I pause a minute to see what he's up to - what I see next surprises me. Just as he gets closer to the big boys, my little boy pulls his new cologne out and holds it out in his hand. He looks at his hand, adjusts it just so. I know what he's doing. He wants so bad for them to notice. I can see it. I see how he holds it out, nonchalantly (as nonchalant as a 5 year old can be). I got a little stab in my heart at that moment. My eyes started to sting a little, surprising me.
I don't know if it was sadness, or sweetness or what, but I felt so touched by the little scene that played before me. Oh, and no, the boys didn't notice. They were too wrapped up in their teenage selves to even note his presence on their radar. He wasn't even a blip.
My baby was undeterred, though. He just kept his prize in his hand.
Mommy wanted to go shake some boys though. They'd done absolutely nothing wrong, but to the Mom of the sweetest boy in the whole wide world, they'd committed a crime most heinous: they'd not noticed my baby when he wanted nothing more than to be noticed.
Acceptance and the need to 'fit in' comes unbelievably early and can last a lifetime.

Tragedy times two

2009-12-10T10:11:00.005-05:00

Today is Love Thursday. This is love lost.

We heard last night that a little girl had been hit by a car yesterday afternoon getting off the school bus. We knew she was a kindergartener at Ben's school. We didn't know until this morning that she'd died from her injuries. We didn't know until this morning that she was one of Ben's classmates. Her name is Karla Campos, she was 5 years old. And she was an angel.
I'll miss you, sweet girl.

http://www.ajc.com/news/cobb/family-mourns-5-year-234840.html

Tears for a little girl lost

2009-11-16T21:48:00.005-05:00

People, I am just beside myself. I am horrified beyond words. The world is full of evil, but this has touched me more than I can stand.

I try not to watch too much of the news just to protect myself from the 'misery porn' that permeates each and every newscast. Somehow, though, I got wind of the case of the little 5-year old girl reported missing last week. It seems that every week there is another case of a missing child! This case caught my attention because the little girl is the same age as my little man. I think of him - how innocent and trusting - he's only 5! This little girl - she's only 5!!

Check that - she was only 5 - they found her body today. Her little life was cut short by pure evil. This angel sent by God never had a chance to live. She never had a chance.

Her so-called mother - I can't even put into words. I cannot understand how someone who brought a child into the world could do something like what this woman is accused of doing. It's unfathomable to me.
The pictures released from the surveillance camera at the hotel showing a man holding her at the elevator just ripped my heart out. I wish I could erase the picture from my mind, but I can't. All I see is the trusting look on her face. She's holding a stuffed animal, for goodness sakes. Her little hand is on his shoulder! Oh, Dear Lord. What must she have faced? Who was there to comfort her? Her little mind couldn't have understood what was going on. Please Lord, let her not have known. Pure evil. Just pure evil. I just can't take it. It makes me ill.

Rest in peace little one. May you now rest in the arms of your Comforter, and Protector. May you now know true Love.

No one will ever, ever hurt you again, baby girl.

differences in daytime and nightime.....and, um, spelling

2009-10-28T12:16:00.004-04:00

I love, love, love to look at the various pieces of paper that come home from Kindergarten with the little man. I'm going through a stack right now; which ones to keep, and which to discard?

They've been working on the seasons, and most recently, the difference in night and day. One example of his work on night/day was two pieces of construction paper - one yellow, the other black - indicating day and night, of course - which are taped together. One the 'day' piece, he's cut out and pasted-on pictures of things pertaining to daytime......

Examples:
Sun
Breakfast
Bus
Lunch
Cutting grass
Playground

On the opposite side of the page, pictures pertaining to night.....

Examples:
Owl
Moon
Sleep

Now, he's labeled the pictures for your ease. Of course. You may notice a slight difference in the spelling. Ahem.

Sun = sun (ok, so that's an easy one...hang on)
Breakfast = drexkf (what?)
Bus = bus
Lunch = luth
Cutting grass = cuetnegras
Playground = playgrob
Owl = awl
Moon = moon
Sleep = slep

Any questions?

and the award goes to.......

2009-10-28T10:34:00.002-04:00

Last night we were supposed to go to the ball park to celebrate the end of the fall t-ball season with a picnic party, but Mother Nature decided that we needed another soaking. So, fast and furious, our team mom scrambled to find a central meeting place - cue local pizza joint. Perfect.

We braved the cold, wet weather to meet the team for pizza and trophies (and lots of jumping up and down in the booths, laughing, talking, pizza, cookies, root 'beard', and fun). Coach Glenn was there; moms, dads, grandmas and all the kids from the team. As Coach stood up to give the trophies, you could see how much he'd truly enjoyed this team and how much time he'd spent working on the presentation of the trophies. It wasn't just stand up and hand out trophies, no - he'd made certificates for each player - even naming the awards after famous baseball players - while on the back of each certificate, he'd listed accomplishments for the child, and recommendations. This obviously took some time, thought and effort. He'd name the 'award', then tell why the particular player fit the criteria, then read off the accomplishments - funny, how as he listed them off, we could easily figure out who he was referring to! We had an awesome bunch of kids this fall season - so many little characters - but so sweet and so ready to play.

When it came time for our favorite little player to receive his award, Coach Glenn read off the title: "The Alex Rodriguez Award" for Best Overall Performance!
On the reverse side of the certificate is written:
Does: Many put outs - unassisted - 3 in one inning
Hits ball hard for power
Enthusiasm at every position
Shows learning by doing
Excels in all areas - also with team relationships and game situations!
Recommend playing all positions
Needs to: Relax at the plate when batting
Continue to play all positions
Study game situations & strategy
Teach other players to improve

Well, I don't mind telling you that this mama got a little misty. (I'm sure it was just the pepperoni and jalapeno pizza I'd been working on) I hid it well, though. I put the camera up to my face and snapped a few blurry, unfocused pics. Oh wait, I was blurry and unfocused - not the pics. Little man smiled like he'd won the world series. I don't know about you, but I can't get enough of that kid.

Great job, little man!

This one, I can't explain......

2009-10-05T05:27:00.007-04:00

Some conversations are deeper than others, some not so memorable and some may be completely silly. You really never know what you're going to get when you talk to a 5 year old boy. Yesterday afternoon, the conversation the sweetest hubby and son had made my jaw drop to the floor. A little background first.

I'd left early for children's choir, leaving the two of them here to come over later. Before I left, I helped Ben get his clothes back on for church as he was in his usual state of dress: underwear and a smile. As I was heading to his room, I heard the sweet sound of a toy that, now that I think about it, I have no idea how to describe. It's one of those little plush, pull-type toys - this one happens to be a yellow kitty - with a hanger for the doorknob that plays a little lullaby when you pull it's tail... am I making any sense? Why can't I figure out what to call the blasted thing?? Anyway....we've had that little toy since Ben was a baby and I haven't seen it in probably a year or more - since we moved, I guess. So, when I walked into his room and heard the tinkling sound of a lullaby, I wondered what was up. Ben was standing in his room, hugging and cuddling the kitty, saying he wanted to take it to church with him. I told him no, he couldn't take it to church, but he could take it in the car with him if he wanted to. That seemed to appease him, so I helped him get dressed and went with him down the stairs, where I said my byes and left.

The rest of the story is recounted from what Greg told me. Ben was still hugging and cuddling the kitty as he sat on the couch to watch tv. At some point, he wound up sitting next to his daddy. Greg hugged him and asked him the age old question, "do you know how much I love you?" To which Ben answered, "more than God". His daddy explained to him that "No, God loves you even more than I or Mommy does".

Well, then Ben started telling his daddy a story. He said that when he was a baby, in heaven, that he was in a room with a bunch of other babies, and that God was there. He said that all the babies were soon gone - leaving him alone with God. He said that God stayed with him, played with him, and talked to him. But, then on a Thursday - God told him that in 3 days he'd come home to us.

Later, after we'd returned home from church, we three were standing in the kitchen. Greg asked Ben to tell me what they'd talked about earlier. Ben then proceeded to tell everything he'd told his daddy. I asked him what does God look like? He told me, " he has a beard, and white hair. And he wears a blue dress. And he's barefooted".

The description of God - I don't know if it's correct or not - have to wait and see.

The day of the week was wrong. But sometimes even now, he gets his days mixed up - so how much more so might he have gotten it wrong when he was still just a wish and a prayer in our hearts - but so well known by God!

The 3 days? Exactly spot on.

3 days was when he came into our home, our family, our hearts. 3 days old.

Thank you God for watching over him until you sent him home to be with us. And thank you God for watching over him now.

Happy Birthday, sweet friend

2009-09-30T09:51:00.003-04:00

Today is your birthday and I've got a bone to pick with you. I want to tell you a few things. So sit down. And hush.

1) I think you are just the cat's meow; I want to be just like you when I grow up.
2) I think I've never met anyone so beautiful - inside and out.
3) I think you are the epitome of Southern Hospitality, grace, beauty, warmth, humor, style, and class.
4) I think I've never tasted anything better than your cakes.
5) I think you work too hard.
6) I think I would have loved to have you for a sister for all my life, not just the last 10 years or so.
7) I think I'll never have a better choir buddy and I miss standing next to you every Sunday morning. And Wednesday night.
8) I think I want your clothes. And your shoes. So, hand 'em over.
9) I think you are the most beautiful Grandmother I've ever seen.
10) I think your husband is a nut (not earth-shattering news, everybody knows that)
11) I think you are talented beyond belief. And humble to boot.
12) I think you are smarter than a 5th grader.
13) I think I would have loved for my son to have had you for a Sunday school teacher.
14) I think I miss you something terrible.
15) I think I need a tissue.
16) I think God loves you very much.
17) I think I do too.
18) I think I need another tissue.
19) I think you're my hero and quite possibly an angel here on earth.
20) I think there's no possible way that you're 60 years old today. Oops, was that a secret?
21) I think I'm so very thankful that you have occupied the same place in time with me - my life wouldn't be the same without knowing you.
22) I think I'm so very grateful for the friendship and love you've offered me and my family.
23) I think I've been so very blessed to have you in my life.
24) I think I need another tissue.

Have a wonderful day, my sweet, sweet friend. I love you so much.

honesty lessons, bedtime talks and memories

2009-09-17T08:54:00.005-04:00

Last night, after the ordeal which is 'getting ready for bedtime', was over; we three snuggled in Ben's bed quietly talking. We'd had a tough moment or two earlier due to an unfortunate choice one little boy decided to make: to bald-face lie to his Daddy. He thought he'd be able to get away with something by lying. Not a good choice at all.
So, we're snuggled and talking afterward when I ask Ben if he would like for me to come eat lunch with him tomorrow at school. He said, " yes" then, "Daddy, can you come too?"

Well, because Daddy has been out of town for a couple of days, he's a little backed-up at work; so, even though he would love to, he explained he wouldn't be able to come. But, maybe next week he would. Now, a little background here. A few months ago, when Ben was in the summer program at his preK, one of the field trips that his class took was to the Georgia
Aquarium. (I thought I'd written about it, but I looked back over my old posts and couldn't find it - so, you'll just have to go along with me here)

I really, really, really wanted to be able to go with him, but I told him there was no way I could because I was scheduled to work that day. With the absolutely fabulous way things have been at work, I figured there was no way I'd be able to get off on such late notice. Oh, and my thoughts that maybe I would just call out sick so I could go didn't really fit in with the 'raising an honest child" plan that we're working on; so, off to work I go. I just quietly fumed and felt sorry for myself. As I tend to do.
Well, I moped about at work, making sure that everybody saw just how miserable I was - yeah, I was a joy to behold. Finally, after telling my story to a couple of my friends and getting the sympathy I so badly wanted; one of them told me to get up off my butt and go ask if I could leave - explaining why I wanted to so badly.

Hm. Well. Ok, so I did. I came clean. I explained all the above and y'know what? I got to go! I called his teacher and asked if it was too late to go, and nope, they were just about to board the bus. So, I gathered my stuff and walked out to go meet my baby at the Aquarium. I'd told his teacher not to tell Ben I was coming, as I wanted to surprise him. And I did. And he was absolutely thrilled. And so was I.

Now, back to the story at hand. So, he'd asked his Daddy if he could come to eat too, remember? Ok, so we're back on track. Well, when Daddy explained that he couldn't - Ben said, 'you could just tell your friends at work that you want to come - like Mommy did when we went to the Aquarium'.

He remembered! He remembered that I'd told him how I'd asked if I could leave and they let me! My heart. Oh, my heart. The little things that make such a big impression.....I'm so thankful I was able to go that day and it meant so much to him.

So, now, I'm going to get up off my butt and get cleaned up - I have a lunch date with my little boy. Because it's the little things that mean so much.

Fill 'er up!

2009-08-19T09:08:00.004-04:00

Picked up the big boy from school yesterday. Because it was a work day for me, he had to go to ASP, so he missed riding the bus home. After I sign him out, they'll call for him with a walkie-talkie, and shortly thereafter I'll see him walking down the hallway toward me. Occasionally, I'll get a hug and a "hi, Mom" Always, I'll get a smile.

Yesterday, I got both ~ and ~ I got to hold his hand as we walked to the car. I asked him about his day.

"It was good."

I told him I missed him today and that I'd thought about him during my day at work.

"Ok" (love it when he really opens up to me and we have these deep conversations)

Quiet for a second, then:

"Remember when I gave you the kiss and said this is for you to keep?"

I smiled to myself in the drivers seat and said, yes, I did, but I think I'm running low.
From the back seat, I heard him make a mmmm...smaaaacckkk-ing sound...

"There! That'll hold you!"

The Big Day

2009-08-10T21:24:00.005-04:00

My orders were to have scrambled eggs, bacon and biscuits ready for breakfast.
Well, everything but the biscuits came through. Cinnamon toast instead.
Greg got the sleepyhead up around 6:45 this morning so we'd have plenty of time to get everything done before having to go to the bus stop. He was still a bit groggy, but excited. I had a million butterflies in my stomach.

We talked last night before bed - reviewing what to expect, how to act, what the pick up plans were - I wanted him to be ready...so he wouldn't be scared. I think it was more for me than him, but, he listened - maybe he felt something of what I was feeling. I don't know.

So, we ate. Then got dressed, brushed, combed, back-packed. Grabbed the camera and out the door. Stopped to take pictures on the front step - we could see the neighbors and their kids all heading to the new bus stop up the hill.....not long now...gotta hurry. The parade of kids and parents with cameras started to pick up in number as we got closer. Cobb county's recent change in bus stops created quite a crowd on the corner.

Ben immediately started making the rounds - he had to see everybody and show them his new back pack. My social butterfly strikes again. I snapped a few pictures and wished we had a few more quiet minutes at home so we could have gone over the day again, but just a few minutes after we got there, the big yellow bus came over the hill. I could hear the excited comments from the opposite side of the crowd -

'here it comes!'
'the BUS!, it's here!!'
'come here, give me a hug'
'just one more picture!'

It came too fast! Greg grabbed Ben and gave him a big hug, kiss and a wish for a great day. I was trying to get pictures and walk with him - hug and kiss for me and then he was in the line....with the biggest smile on his face. He waited in line to climb aboard - he'd look ahead, then look at us, smile, then look ahead. He was ready! He never hesitated - climbed right on board with no wavering of the smile. Someone told him where to sit - the Kindergarten students sit at the front, right near the driver - so Ben got in the first seat, next to the door. I could barely see him over the cushion at the front of the bus, but he'd stand up and smile and wave for me.

As the doors closed, someone must have said something to get his attention in the bus because he turned his head away from us. Then, the bus started rolling and I didn't see his face again until we got to the school.

Yes, you read it right. We ran back to the house, got the car and drove over to the school so we could get pictures of him going into his class for the first time. Now, we'd discussed this, too.
I made sure to let him know it was simply because Mom and Dad wanted pictures of his first day at school - not because Mommy thought she'd break down without one more hug, oh no.
It was simply a photo op.

So, off we all go to walk him to his class - the excited smile remained throughout the walk through the gym, down the hall; to the Kindergarten wing of the school. Once again, my social butterfly greeted everyone he saw with a cheerful, 'good morning'; a few he questioned, 'did you see my new back pack?' I'd say he's pretty proud of it, no?

Since we weren't allowed in the classroom, we took a few pictures out in the hall. More hugs and kisses and then sent him on in. He was ready, again.
He never faltered, never looked back. We peeked in and I made sure the teacher had him down for ASP this afternoon - she did - so, we had no reason to stay.

We left the way we came, with big smiles. Never wavering.

Well, not much.

Big boy school

2009-07-20T05:37:00.011-04:00

I'm watching the days on the calendar slip by faster than ever. It feels like the start of the summer was just yesterday, or the day before at the most. Vacation has come and gone; I remember how I so looked forward to our time at the beach, and now it's just a memory, too.

How can time speed up? How can a whole week, a couple of months, half a year, even - come and go so fast that it makes my head spin? I watched my little guy 'graduate' from preK just a couple of months ago, thinking that August would never get here and now! - it's just a day or so away. That means Kindergarten is just days away. Oh my goodness gracious. Kindergarten.

Someone made the comment to me the other day that she couldn't believe how much Ben had changed in the past year. He's grown into a little BOY, not a baby anymore. Yeah, yeah - I know, he hasn't been a baby in a while; but he's my baby, still. He still has the sweetness of my baby, but the edges are getting a little rougher.

He'll still cuddle with me watching tv, but tells me it's annoying him if I'm caught looking at him; memorizing every expression on his face.

He'll allow kisses, but only on his schedule.

Hugs are a precursor for wrestling now.

We walk across a parking lot and the little hand that I've held on to so tightly for fear its owner might dart out in front of a car; now would rather be empty and independent.

So, yes. I guess he is growing up. While he's so very excited about school, my stomach turns over. I have the same feelings I felt when we moved here and we started him in a new
pre-school. Only, he's old enough now to understand that not everybody he meets will want the best for him, or want to be his friend, or don't care if he's happy or sad or scared - or whatever. He's going out into the world; (yeah, yeah - I know.....it's Kindergarten, for goodness sakes!) come what may. Head first and wide open, he'll make his way.

Sweetest boy in the whole wide world: That (ridiculously) quickly approaching August morning, we'll get you all ready to go to your big school; Mommy and Daddy will be there to watch you get on the bus you've waited on for so long. We'll give you one big hug (or six) and kisses to last (me) the whole day; and we'll watch you climb on board. We'll wave you goodbye and Mommy will try her hardest not to embarrass you by breaking down in the middle of the sidewalk. That, I will save for the privacy of our garage - cuz' there's no way I'll be able to hold it in until I go in the house. I'll be thinking of you throughout the day - wondering what new things you'll learn, if you're being good, if you're scared - if you'll speak up when you need to go to the bathroom(!), if you like your teacher; so many things.

I wish you only the best, my little man - now, big boy. Grow up big and strong but keep your sweetness. Know that Mommy and Daddy love you and will always be here for you, no matter what.

please and thank you, blah blah blah

2009-07-05T19:01:00.006-04:00

Well, well, well. Seems one of the little monsters living next door is giving out advice now.
The sweetest boy and the horde were out in the back yard minutes ago when I witnessed my own little creep pushing the smallest of the group on the slide. I yelled off the back deck -cause I'm a redneck and that's how we roll - for him not to push.

My exceedingly polite, most wonderful little creep said, "yes ma'am!" boy, was I proud!

At which point, the middle monster said, "you don't have to say yes ma'am!"

Oh, yes. Yes you do have to say yes ma'am, little monster.

So, now I have to bring my own little creep in and debrief him.

lunch date

2009-06-24T11:48:00.004-04:00

Just had a pb&j with the little man.

I finished mine in record-time...only coffee for breakfast, so I was starving.

Little man wanted cheese puffs with his. ewww.

He ate his in typical little-boy fashion - straight down the middle of the sandwich. So when he brought me his paper plate telling me he was finished, I glanced at his face and on both sides of his mouth right up to his cheeks, was peanut butter. Kinda like a peanut butter smiley face.
When I told him he had peanut butter all over his face, he used the God-given 'napkin' attached at his shoulders - his arm. Now, he has peanut butter on his face, his ear, and his forearm.

Oh, and the cheese puffs died a horrible, peanut butter asphyxiation-death.....inside his sandwich.

R.I.P. cheese puffs.

cuddle time

2009-05-24T22:14:00.002-04:00

Snuggling in the comfy chair with the sweetest boy a few minutes ago went a little sumpthin' like this:

"I love you, Mama."

"I love you too, baby. Hey, punkin', do you know how to spell 'I love you'?"

"Uh huh. M-o-m-m-y."

Yeah. I melted.

WAR EAGLE!!

2009-05-20T16:04:00.004-04:00

Another episode in the "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" chronicles.

Lunchtime today: walked my sweet self into Subway for a sammich - sporting my favorite Auburn scrubs. Could there be any better job in the world than nursing???? I mean, I get to wear my pjs to work!

Well, doncha know the first thing the 'sandwich artist' behind the counter says is "Auburn!?" (hmm...it's hard to get across in typing form the nasal, sarcastic tone he used). Then, "didn't you see the sign on the door?"*

*Excuse me here - now, normally, I'd just laugh it off - because every.stinking.time I wear my AU scrubs to work I have to deal with the oh, so original! comments from the Dawg faithful that I'm forced to work with. A few brave souls (patients) might pipe up and mention something about my choice of teams - just a few though; I guess they know I could be the one administering their sedation for their colonoscopy, so I suppose they don't want to take a chance on gettin' me all riled up. (sorry, guess my redneck is showing)

Sooo. Back to Subway. Today, I'd had my fill. I turned around and looked at the door he indicated and said, 'No, but I could just as easy turn around and walk right back out that door'. No smile. Didn't laugh it off this time. The poor guy didn't know what to say!

I just don't understand it. Here I am a paying customer, and you're gonna insult me? Yeah, yeah - I know - he was just kidding. But sheesh! It happens every.stinking.time!!! I don't have a lot of AU paraphernalia; but the sweetest hubby IS an AU grad, so we are kind of proud to wear the team colors, y'know? We don't go overboard with it by any means - generally, it's a 'whatever is clean' in the closet kind of thing - so for someone to say something about it each and every time we wear our favorite team's logo, it gets kind of old.

Oh and um....I'm not stupid. I made sure to watch the 'artist' at work when he made my sandwich. Like I could possibly withhold your sedation if you get me riled up - he could do some really nasty things to my sammich - I'm just sayin........{shudder}

Graduation Day

2009-05-16T13:51:00.005-04:00

Yesterday was another one of those 'I can't believe how fast time flies' moments. We celebrated the littleman's preK graduation. Can it be true? In a few short months, he'll be going to Kindergarten. 'Big School', as he calls it. Amazing.

We gathered out on the playground with the other parents, grandparents and families to wait on the graduates to come outside. Sweetest hubby and me climbed up to the top of the play equipment to get a good viewing/picture-taking platform. Then, here they come; in single file - some were walking with their heads straight forward, some were waving, some looked completely bored, some smiled, some looked thrilled and excited. Mine was one of the excited, smiling, waving ones. He was thrilled with the pomp and circumstance. They came to their chairs and were seated as one. An announcement by one of the teachers and then my baby and two others came forward to the platform to say the pledge. My baby! He stood up there in front of everybody, with his hand over his heart and a smile on his lips and said the pledge of allegiance - and I could hear his sweet voice above the crowd - he wasn't a bit nervous. (or it didn't show!)

Another song, then the teachers handed out gifts to their room moms and then they started giving out the certificates to the kids. Little man smiled from the moment he stood up till the moment he sat down.

Ok. So I kinda got a little moist behind my sunglasses....it was hot out there. Shut up. It was.

I'm so happy that he feels so comfortable at his preschool, I know that he's loved there.
Soon, we'll start a new chapter in littleman's life. The beginning of elementary school.
I can't believe how fast time flies.

SHOES!

2009-05-13T17:20:00.002-04:00

Last weekend we celebrated little man's 5th birthday at a local inflatables play place with 14 or so of his bestest buds. Then, family gathered at our house to un-wrap gifts and ooh and ahh. A 5 year old boy gets lots of toys for his birthday! I don't ever remember getting that much stuff - actually, I don't ever remember getting a birthday party, but that's another post for another day. Things were different 'back then', I guess. Hmm. Anyway.

So, we're unwrapping presents; some really neat toys, clothes (thanks MawMaw and Nanny!), more toys....and then - he picks up a wrapped shoebox. Paper ripped off - he pulls out a sneaker and says, "Hey! A SHOE!!!" Then, as everyone was properly impressed by the gift; he leans down to the box, jumps up quickly and shouts something to the effect of, "Cool! ANOTHER ONE!!!!"

Hee hee. Blesshisheart.

Sheriff Ben

2009-04-30T11:41:00.002-04:00

There's a new sheriff in town. He's wearing a t-shirt and tighty-whiteys and a smile.

And a badge.

And he's dancing in his t-shirt and tighty-whiteys and smile and badge.

And he's terribly, terribly cute.

Happy Birthday Sweetest Boy

2009-04-28T22:58:00.003-04:00

Little man,

You're sleeping now. You breathe in and out. Your eyelashes, so long and soft, still and quiet on your sweet face. Your beautiful mouth is open a little; sometimes you speak a word or two straight out of your dream - what is your dream tonight, baby? Could it be dinosaurs or Transformers, Power Rangers and fighting Bad Guys? My little man - you're always the Good Guy - keep the town safe. Sweet dreams, little man.

I remember the very first time I saw your beautiful face. You came into our home and into our hearts in the arms of one of God's special angels - and our lives haven't and will not ever be the same again.

Your light shines so brightly it's sometimes blinding. Your spirit fills the room. I watch you from a distance and see the changing expressions on your face and am still amazed at this gift God has given us. I see your happiness overflowing even when you are just outside playing, or running for the sheer joy of running; your energy is abundant and contagious. I see your eyes sparkle and your entire face break into a smile when you run from home plate to first base - your batting helmet too big, wobbling on your noggin - you sneak a peek at the bleachers to see if I'm watching. Yes, baby. I'm watching - I'll always be there to cheer you on - whatever you choose to do. I love to watch you and Daddy give each other high-fives when you make it to first base after taking a serious whack at the t-ball.

I love your voice - silly and serious, early-morning hoarseness, or late-night sleepiness - my favorite words in the whole wide world: "hey, ma-ma". If I could bottle that sound and have nothing else to hear the rest of my life, I'd take it and consider it enough.

You made our life so sweet when you came through our door. You're loved so much, my little man. You celebrate your birthday this week and we celebrate with you. You're a whole hand now! You're going to be 5 years old. Unbelievable. My fairy tale happily ever after has reached another precious milestone. I thank God for this; I thank God for you, my one and only sweet little boy. Your Daddy and me love you so, so much.

Happy Birthday my sweet, sweet 5 year old.

I love you,

Mommy

Brownies ARE good for you, aren't they?

2009-04-22T16:16:00.004-04:00

"mommy, can we make the brownies?"

"hey, mom....I thought you said we could make the brownies tonight..."

"after my nap, can we make the brownies?"

Ok. So there's been a box of brownies in the cupboard driving my son nuts. True, I've promised to 'help' him make them for two or three days now....but something always comes up. Like bedtime last night. Oh, yeah. It was obviously not a good enough reason for him, but it was way too late to make brownies. So, I promised him we would make them today.

Approximately 15 minutes ago, I asked him if he wanted to go make the brownies now. Yippee! Yay!! Brownies!!! Off to the kitchen we go. Maybe 30 seconds after we get the mix, eggs, water, and oil in the bowl - he's uninterested. Off he goes to watch Power Rangers but not before yelling over his shoulder "I want to lick the bowl!!"

Batter in the pan, pan goes in the oven and I've stolen a couple of licks of the spoon before I call him in (what? yeah, like you don't do it too...) the kitchen. He comes running in smiling, saying: "lick the bowl, lick the bowl!"

I've already scraped the sides of the bowl down to make it easier for him; hand him the spoon and he says: "I don't want it. I don't want to eat junk food".

Whaaaaa?

grumpy nose

2009-04-02T17:28:00.003-04:00

Grumpy boy discovered me in the bathroom; trying my best to get a nice hot bath and a little peace and quiet. Ha. Nothing like having an audience for a bath, but that's another post.
He came in on the pretense of asking for a snack. Well, it's almost supper time here, so I said no. Grumpy whining ensues. Lots and lots of it.

It lasted all the way through the end of my bath till I started to dry my hair. He's stomping around in the bathroom, whining and sniffling - he never gets to do what he wants to do...never gets what he waannnnntsssssss.......whiiiinnnnneee, sniffle......whiiiiiiinnnnnneeeeeeee........

Then, out of the blue he says, "I don't like my nose anymore!"

"Why don't you like your nose anymore, baby?"

"I don't like it cause it gets snot in it!"

Trying not to laugh, I said, "But Mommy loves your nose!"
"Even with snot."

"I want to get it taken off! I don't want it anymore."

So, I turn around and ask, "Um, how do you get your nose taken off?"

"I don't know, I guess you have to get the Nose Directions and see how to do it!"

I had to ask.

Big boy school

2009-04-02T15:30:00.004-04:00

Yesterday was a big day around here. Yesterday we registered the sweetest boy in the whole, wide, wonderful world for Kindergarten. Yesterday we walked right up to the elementary school and signed the papers. Yesterday we made our very first trip into the place that, with time - will take all the vestiges of 'babydom' from me, er, from him....oops....
He'll move from his preK, where I can still see and believe he's still my baby.
This place will begin the process of moving him into the little boy- that will turn into the big boy -that will turn into the man that he will be. Oy. I can't even begin to think about it.

And can I tell ya that my little guy was (3 ft in the air) excited to be there???? He was thrilled to no end to be in his new school. He wanted to meet the principal - can ya believe it??

So, I kept him home today from preK......my baby stayed home with me. And I loved it.

Hey, batta batta........!

2009-03-21T21:41:00.005-04:00

And how was your weekend? Mine? Fantastically great, thanks for asking!
We woke up this morning to a bright, beautiful, sunshiney day - just a little chilly when wind would blow - but perfect for the first t-ball game of our little mans life.

Had a wonderful breakfast cooked up by the sweetest hubby in the world; eaten a little too leisurely, I guess, because we had to rush like whirling dervishes to get to the field by 10:15. The team came together on the field and got the final piece of their uniforms - new caps with their names/number embroidered on the back. Now, they're officially a team. And boy are they cute.

We weren't able to have practice last Saturday because of all the rain we had in the area, so the guys really have had only had one practice - at which, part of the time was taken up with pictures and just trying to herd 9 little boys into one small area - heck, some didn't even know how to put their glove on or throw a ball, much less the intricacies of playing the game. But, there's a schedule to keep, so off we go to the field.

Scrappers (yea!) v. Mudcats (boo)

The Scrappers got to bat first. Um, lemme pause a sec here. The coach said prior to the game that the players would bat in order of their jersey number. Ok, no problem there. Hmm...
Little man is number 8. One kid out today due to illness so that leaves our little guy batting last. All the other players got to hit and then run the bases - unless they were tagged out. Last batter up in the inning is our little hero. He hits (great job, btw!) and runs to first.......inning over. He never got to run past first base!!! Grr....not fair.
Mommy was not happy.

Mudcats at bat next. If I say so myself, our little guys did a much better job than they did. Got two real outs the first two at bats for the mighty Mudcats. But who's counting? I did notice a meltdown in the (not so) mighty Mudcats dugout that lasted through the bottom of the inning. One little guy obviously did not want to be there. Hey, there's no crying in baseball!
Sorry. Had to.

Mudcats did pretty well hitting, but inning over. Scrappers out in the field had done an outstanding job. I noticed our little hero plodding back to the dugout with his head down, shoulders slumped almost to the ground, hands just dangling loosely: the picture of the downtrodden. Assistant coach, aka Daddy, stopped him just as he came to the door of the dugout and said something to him. Not sure what it was, but it didn't sit well with our guy. Now, we've got ourselves a meltdown in the Scrappers dugout. Clean up on aisle ten. Off I go to the dugout to see what was going on.

Seems the problem lies in the fact that he didn't get to get to the ball. The coach had placed the players out on the field and would move them from time to time to let them get a little experience everywhere, but the ones in the outfield never really got a chance to do much - the balls weren't gonna make it to the outfield when they couldn't even hit it past (or to) the pitchers mound. So, he was understandably upset. I talked to him and let him know that everybody would get a chance to get the ball, he just needed to wait his turn. Meanwhile, back at the game, the Scrappers were up at bat. #6, #7...and hey, bud! it's your turn at bat! Tears are wiped and off he goes to bat. Swing!! Whaack! Ruuuuuuuunnnnnn, Bennnnnn! Off he goes to first. High-five with the first base coach, aka Daddy - again. Then: inning over. GRRRRRRRRR.....

Scrappers take the field. One or two batters later for the Mudcats and then little man gets his chance to head to the pitchers mound. He was thrilled! His whole demeanor changed. You could see his face shining with the smile that took over his face. And he.was.ready. I'm tellin' ya.

Batter up! Sa-wiiiinnng! Smack! GEEEEETTTTTT IT, Beeeeennnnnn!!! Woooo Hoooo! He stopped that ball like a pro!!!!!! Now, what to do with it? So, with shouts from the coaches all around, he starts to chase that little Mudcat around the field. I've never laughed so much. He tagged him somewhere between first and second base after a very circuitous route.

No sign of the dejected little baseball player would be seen in the park the rest of the game. Just giv'em a chance to get to the ball and he's happy.
And so is his mommy.

---Had special visitors to the park today to watch the first game of the season: our little hero had his Nanny and Pop in the stands. They got a much coveted thumbs up from the field when he took the pitchers mound.
Thanks for making the trip, N and P!

Boys have a.....

2009-03-11T18:03:00.002-04:00

Just got home picking up little man from school. His teacher said, "he said the funniest thing today''. Uh oh.

Seems that one of the little girls has a rash of some sort on her, um.....hmm. Well, how bout 'thatwhichshouldbecoveredbyundies'?

Evidently this was the topic of conversation out on the playground this afternoon, so of course the little girl pulled her top up and pants down to show this rash to her friends. Little man included. Not one to keep such things to himself, little man ran to his teacher and said,

"Miss Katie, ****** just showed me her penis!!"

Yeah.

Maybe a lesson in the subtle differences between a boy and a girl would be appropriate?
Glad his daddy is coming home tomorrow.

Wonka-poopie?

2009-03-05T09:57:00.005-05:00

"Mom-my! I stinkied!!!"

Now, that is an announcement I enjoy hearing. Mostly because that means I don't have to clean up an "accident" in the undies. Yeah, we're still dealing with accidents from time to time. Boys.
Oh no, we can't be bothered with going to the bathroom to do our business when there is playing to be done.

So, off to the potty I go to see what I can do to help with clean-up duty. joy

I find one completely naked boy - leaning over, both hands on the toilet seat; perusing the results of his 'efforts'.

"look, Mom! the circle one looks like a gobstopper!"

Niiiiice. I sure hope that wasn't what Willy Wonka had in mind when he came up with the everlasting gobstopper. Ewww.

Batter, up! Eh, almost.

2009-03-01T19:18:00.004-05:00

T-ball practice was cancelled. We did get to make a trip to the field but because it had rained all night and continued to do so, the field was a sloppy mess. Got to meet the coach and all the boys on the team and also got fitted for t-shirts. Little man's number will be number 8!
Oh, and can I just say how stinkin' cute the boys were all lined up shortest to tallest.
OMG. Too cute.

Left there to buy uniform pants. Went to WallyWorld but no luck; then on to Dick's. So, ya think 4 is too old to strip a kid down to his underpants in the middle of the store? Hope not.
Cause we did; right there in the uniform aisle in front of God and everybody. My BFF made the comment: "Well, that's how rednecks do it."
Guess that answers that.

Uniform pants on a 4 year old boy = extreme cuteness. The butt? Oy. Have you ever seen anything so cute? Can't wait to get the full uniform on so I can get pictures.

Let the games begin...

2009-02-27T05:52:00.003-05:00

Saturday marks the first practice day for T-ball for my little guy. We'll see how this goes - soccer wasn't the hit we thought it would be, even though he could kick a ball from the time he started walking. He was very excited about playing soccer, just not playing soccer with everybody else. He had very little interest in learning the 'fundamentals' of the game - in his mind, to play soccer you: run, kick ball, chase ball, catch ball then kick it again. Which is good - just not really playing. Since this was a parent/child interactive soccer team; we spent most of our time yelling at him to "come baaaaccck, buddy!" as he flew across the soccer field in the opposite direction of the coach and us. We gave up after 3-4 practices.

It just wasn't worth getting mad at him for enjoying himself.

Happy Birthday

2009-02-24T21:19:00.003-05:00

History: this weekend was sweetest hubby's birthday; next week is mine.

Got a text from little man's teacher at school today. Seems he'd been telling his buddies about our recent/upcoming birthdays.

Text:

"Ben told his friends that his daddy is 45 and his mommy is 23".

Yeah, thaaaat's my BOY!!

Just call me Oscar.

2009-02-09T17:26:00.004-05:00

Ok, this has nothing to do with anything/anyone in particular. Not true, I'm sure it's hormonal. It's just me, venting.

1. Sometimes I hate, hate, hate my job. Like today.
2. Sometimes I hate people. I just want to be alone and not talk to anyone. Got a problem?
Don't wanna hear it. Need something? Get it yourself. Leave me alone.
3. I get tired of having to be nice all the time. I'm gonna explode.
4. I wish I could wiggle my nose and change things, but I can't.
5. I'm being intentionally vague. I'm sorry.
6. Not really.
7. I don't want to have to think about problems, bills, cooking, cleaning, job, laundry - etc. Not right now. I want a raincheck.
8. I want to check-out for a little while. Ok? Maybe take a hot bath and listen to music. Or not. Maybe complete silence. yeah. That would be nice.

Remembering....

2009-02-05T11:33:00.005-05:00

Yesterday, sweetest hubby and me went to pick up little man at school. When we got there we noticed his class seated on the floor listening to the afternoon teacher reading a book. It always amazes us how they can corral a roomful of 4 year olds into one small area and keep them there, relatively quiet and still, for any length of time. Must be magic.

We didn't want to interrupt the story, so we stood outside the door and peeked in, observing the class in the reflection of the mirror over the sink in the classroom. When the story was finished, little man - who'd been sitting on the front row - stood up and quietly walked the two steps to his teacher, leaned over and gave her a big hug. She hugged him back and he went to sit back down, but as he turned around he caught sight of us outside the door and came running.

I thought how sweet my little boy is. I don't get to see much of the interaction of my child and others; I drop him off in the morning as I head to work, and pick him up in the evening after work. But his day to day activities, I really don't know much about. I get daily reports from his teacher and they'll occasionally have a blurb about something he did - but mostly, I'm in the dark. It was nice to see a completely spontaneous act of kindness shown to someone other than his mommy or daddy.

These are the things I want to be able to remember. I know I'll forget most of the daily happenings, good and bad. But I want to remember how I feel when I see the smile light up his face when he sees me or his daddy. How he smells - fresh from a bath, still warm and a little damp; or after playing all day he 'smells like a billygoat'. How he thinks 'shaking his bootie-bottom' is a dance that is funnier than anything. How he says "watch this, daddy" a million times a day. How he giggles when he toots. How he wants somebody to snuggle with him in the morning. How he always wants his chocolate milk first thing like I want my coffee. How if he wants to tell you he loves you more than anything, he says he loves you "more than the city" - I have no idea why that means a lot, but to him it does. How he likes to show off his 'moves' which are essentially contorted, convoluted, made-up karate kicks - but to him that is some pretty fancy footwork. How his imagination can keep him occupied and entertained when mommy is too busy doing something other than paying him attention. I want to remember things that are even now getting fuzzy after time. When we played with the water hose for the first time in the backyard of our home in Columbus; he was only in a t-shirt and diaper and he splashed around making a muddy spot in the grass and he thought it was the greatest. Or the day we had a huge rain shower and we let him run out into it until he was soaked to the skin - how he laughed and laughed and splashed in the puddles made on the driveway.
I want to remember it all. His hugs, his smells, his voice - oh, his voice! - when he sings or talks on and on. How he wraps his fingers around mine when we walk through a parking lot, or sometimes as we walk into school he'll slip his hand into mine without my asking and how I love the feel of it.

All these things I want to remember, but I worry that I won't.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Got a little help with the housework this morning in the form of a little man who wanted to make up his bed before school (!) and he wanted to do it
all by himself; with Mama out of the room:

"I'll call you when I'm dunned".

So, I went to get his bath ready and wait.

Just a few minutes later he calls me back into his room, a big smile on his face:

"look, mama! I made up my bed and I put all of them close together because
they're best friends" (stuffed toys on his bed)

Great job, little man.

Ok, so if you know me, you're aware that I'm normally a little OCD about bed-making, but there's no way I'm gonna mess this up by straightening it and making it 'right' by my so-called standards. He worked very hard to get it just so and was so proud. I may just have to change my way of thinking when it comes to bed-making.

Sharing with Daddy

2009-02-04T13:54:00.003-05:00

Went to eat at a local restaurant after church last Sunday with my two favorite guys. After eating yeast rolls hot out of the oven with (way too much) butter; we continued to see just how fast we could get our arteries to slam shut by ordering roast beef sandwiches loaded with melted swiss cheese, tiny thin-crispy onion rings with a 'tangy' Cajun horseradish sauce - all on toasted ciabatta bread, with - of course - au jus. Ahh.
I felt the best thing to round out this infarct-arousing lunch for me would be fries. The sweetest hubby thought an order of onion rings would do the trick.
(I guess onion rings on the sandwich wouldn't be enough....)

Little man's lunch wasn't much better. He got mini-corndogs and cheetos. At least the cheetos were baked. I'm not that bad of a mom.

The sweetest hubby had to share his onion rings with the little man. After trying to bite through one particularly tough onion ring, little man pulled the whole onion out of his mouth and handed it to his daddy - keeping the other, yummy part.....

"Here, Daddy. You can have the onion. I'll eat the ring".

Never knew what to call the coating on an onion ring till now.

sweet boy

2009-01-05T05:44:00.004-05:00

Bedtime last night - another 30-45 minutes worth of getting my very active and loud boy in the bed and on the way to sleep - he makes me melt.

Ok. Lemme back up a little here. We've been trying to get little man in the bed earlier and also trying to get him to go to sleep by himself. Really, it's all our fault that he wants me/us to stay with him - that's what he's known for all of his 4.5 years. We all climb into bed, snuggle and cuddle for a little while until somebody falls asleep. Usually it's all of us. Anywho.
So, we've instituted the 'I'm gonna stay with you for 10 minutes,
then I'll leave and you sleep' plan. Yeah, right.

Well. Last night the 10 minutes were up and I started to leave. Lots of "noMommydon'tleave me!" I stood by my plan though....hmmph.

Kisses, kisses, good night sweetie. One more hug. Kisses.

Then, the bomb.

"No, Mommy don't go......Mommy, your kisses all go away when I'm by myself"

I think I did quite well, though. I only stayed for a few minutes more so I could cover my stinky boy with a hundred more kisses. That should hold him.......and me.

hello? hello?

2008-12-20T14:03:00.003-05:00

Just got in from the hospital about, oh, I guess 45 mins to an hour ago. Empty house. No note, no message. No sign of my guys. So, I place a call to the sweetest hubby's phone, but no answer. Hmm. Leave message, then wait for a response. Patiently.
Time passes.

Tried again to reach my guys. No answer.

One last time. Phone rings the obligatory 4-5 times, then straight to phone mail. Ugh. Hate phone mail. Since the first message I left hasn't been responded to, I hang up. The phone rings in my hand before I can even put it down.

me: hello?

him: hey, mommy. (do you know how much I LOVE being called mommy?!)

me: hey, baby! what are you doing, sweetie?

him: daddy's phone was ringing. is it charged now?

me: where's daddy? did you hear the phone ringing?
(I was a little confused. I had ended the call, or so I thought, so I wasn't even sure how he had gotten through.....)
did you call mommy?

him: i pushed the green button.

me: (still confused, but whatever.....) you answered daddy's phone?
how did you know what button to push?

him: yes. i pushed the green button.
i don't know.

A few seconds later, I hear the sweetest hubby's voice with an incredulous tone asking the little man what he's doing with his phone.

him: (matter-of-factly) talkin' to mommy.

Sweetest hubby figured it all out. Little man heard the phone ringing but before he could get to it, I'd hung up. But he didn't know that, so he pushed the green button to talk and that made the phone dial the last number received - mine!

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-18T10:09:00.004-05:00

Man, it's been a while. Sorry.

Can I tell you how great it is that Christmas is almost here? Can I? Can I?
The sweetest little man is just over the moon about it, and it's rubbing off on his mama. We took our annual trip to Gatlinburg/Pigeon Forge a couple of weeks ago. We love making a trip up in early fall to see the leaves when they're putting on their show; but since the arrival of the little man 4 years ago, we've discovered another reason to make a trip in December.

The real Santa Claus lives in Pigeon Forge. Yes, he does. Oh, and he sings and plays the guitar.

On our inaugural visit to this magical, amazing Christmas store (really, I've never seen anything like this place) we got there right as Santa started a song. There were probably 5-6 kids sitting on little benches down in front of him as he sang. They were entranced.
So was I.

I listened to Santa sing as I held my little man. I was a goner. I had my sweet boy in my arms and I watched his eyes as he was so captivated by Santa.
The wonder, the awe. Santa!

I couldn't help it; I had tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat and all I needed was a little push and I would have gone full-out blubbering, over the edge.

His song? "Thank God for Kids".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHWaTXMKT3s
(ok, so the video is a little cheesy, but the words.....sheesh! I'm all verklempt!)

Yep. Thank God for kids. And I do. This sweet, precious little boy - thank you, God.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Bedtime prayers

2008-11-13T13:31:00.003-05:00

Putting little man to bed is one thing. Getting him to settle down and actually go to sleep is another thing entirely. Two nights ago, we're all three in his bed, snuggled up together. The giggles and wiggles have finally ceased, so it's time for bedtime prayers. All eyes closed, hands together, whispered prayers.

Dear God,
Tdank you for all the people and the city and mommy and daddy and tdank you for the planets and pluto and mars and tdank you for our house and our church......
amen

Couple of things. Firstly: I'm not sure exactly how to spell thank you the way he says it, so that will have to do. It used to be Fank you, but now it's sort of a stuffy-nosed thank you, hence the 'tdank' you, above.

Secondly: I'm sure there was more to the prayer, but in all honesty - after the thank you for Pluto and Mars - I sort of stopped listening.
In all the prayers in all the world throughout time - y'think God has ever gotten one for Pluto and Mars???? Y' think He's up there saying, "Well, it's about time somebody recognized Pluto and Mars?"

And no, we didn't bother to tell little man that there has been some question as to the validity of Pluto actually being a planet. Why break a little guys heart?

Power rangers are human too.

2008-11-05T12:47:00.004-05:00

Yeah, so I'm a little behind in my Halloween story.....whatevah.

This is (was) little man's first time trick-or-treating; before moving to the 'big city' we lived a little ways out of town, up a long-dark driveway in the woods. No one wanted to walk up that driveway for a treat, I'm tellin' ya. So, we never actually went out trick-or-treating, either. We didn't live in a subdivision, and the nearest neighbors had an even longer dark driveway, so we would celebrate at the church fall festival.
Everybody was happy.

Fast forward to Halloween 2008. We have moved to the Halloween Capital of the South. Our subdivision has the award for the most enthusiastic halloweeny spirit. Oh my goodness, these people go all out. It was exactly a year ago that we were shopping around for a new place to live and as such, we'd made several 'covert' missions up here to get the feel of the area, see what was available, etc. One trip was to this subdivision.

It was probably the week or so before the big day and I couldn't believe what I saw. Almost every house was decorated....not just a pumpkin here, a pumpkin there.....but decorated to the nines! I've never seen anything like it.
I told the sweetest hubby that I couldn't wait to see what they do for Christmas! (oh, btw. Found out that evidently Christmas doesn't awaken the enthusiastic decorating bug that halloween does here in the burbs o' hotlanta.)

Anywho....back to the story. Oh wait. Hold on... one more thing about this peachy city.
Atlanta has a traffic problem. Seriously. You didn't know?
Well, picture this. Add the pressure of half a million people (heck, I don't know, seemed like a good round number.....I just live here.) wanting to get home 'early' for their little gouls, and you got yerself a hot mess. Just wanted to throw that one in there for your pleasure.
You're welcome.

So, we get home and have maybe 15 minutes to get ready before we have to go to the obligatory pre-trick-or-treat party at the end of the cul-de-sac. Complete with pizza and costumes. BYOB, of course. But that's another post for another time.........

SH and me notice a little bit of an 'attitude' coming from the little-man-who-would-be-the-red-power-ranger. Not a problem yet, just the first inkling that there might be a wee problem ahead.
Since I've posted before about these 'Feelings of Not Belonging' nonsense; I'm not going to go into that too much here. But as for me, I was pretty much ready to leave after finishing my piece of pizza. Little man had eaten half a piece of pizza and two brownies and was having a great time. He doesn't let something like not knowing anybody very well stop him from enjoying himself. He just jumps right in and joins the fun. Man, I wish I could do that. When does self-consciousness take over??? Somewhere around teenage years, I imagine.

Cue the big kid dressed as a ghost/zombie. I saw little man running through the cul-de-sac where we were. The big kid was behind him, chasing him; LM had a smile on his face, so I thought nothing of it. Then, on the next go around, LM wasn't laughing anymore - the laughing face was a little frantic now. Hubby stepped out of the edge of the crowd; Ben saw him and ran to him crying. He was scared.
Little man isn't one to just cry at the drop of a hat, he's really a pretty tough little guy, but like I said earlier, he wasn't his usual cheerful self. Got him all straightened up and his daddy took him over to where the other kids were and they talked to the ghost/zombie. He apologized, saying he had no idea that Ben was scared, they were just playing and that he never meant to scare him. Zombie offered his hand. Shake. Problem solved.

Next meltdown came when a little ghoul and a red power ranger ran smack into each other at a full gallop, resulting in both of them landing hard on the concrete. Tried the old, "aw, shake it off, buddy" but that didn't work. Had to hold my little ranger while he cried big, big tears and the whole gathering ogled the whiny new kid on the block. Ok, so maybe they didn't ogle. Maybe they didn't even notice. This is my story, I can say what I want. They ogled.

Last meltdown of the evening came when we were headed home to get ready for the highlight of the evening: trick-or-treating!!! Woo hoo! Ah. Not so much.

Walking home LM announced that he didn't want to go trick-or-treating. I can't even begin to relate the entire conversation - just sufice it to say that you can't rationalize with a 4-year old power ranger. In the house now and the tears are flowing freely. Daddy sends LM to his room and tells him when he's finished crying, he can come down and they'd go out to get some candy.

Just a few minutes pass. The tears are still there, but he's stopped crying. He's ready to go!
So, out the door they go; First Time Trick-or-Treating! He practices by turning around, ringing our doorbell and shouting, "Trick-or-Treat!!!!!!" with a big smile on his face.

I'm left to hand out candy here at home. Between trips to the door, I spy the days report sheet from LM's preschool teacher. So, I pick it up to read about my little guys day:

Ate all his lunch. That's good.
Painted pumpkins and decorated them to look like bats. That's original!

What's that?

Nap time.

Hmmm. Well, usually it says how long he slept...um...nope, not today.
What's that, no nap today?

Halloween party. Instead!??!!?

Well, I guess that answers that. Even power rangers need a nap. Especially 4 year old power rangers.

Now, for the rest of the story.......
Daddy and LM come home after hitting around 12 houses, maybe. Little man is pooped! The costume comes off and he sits down with me in the comfy chair to snuggle a little. With his little head resting on my shoulder, he asked me if I'd take his socks off for him. I say, sure sweetie. Socks off now, I look down to kiss his forehead and he's out like a light. Two seconds flat. Couldn't have been any more than that.
Power rangers sure are cute when they fall asleep snuggled up next to their mommy.

Please don't go

2008-10-29T15:13:00.004-04:00

He's going to move out. Yep. That's what he said.

I don't remember now what brought it on, but he made the announcement on Friday night. We were all in the living room, enjoying a quiet night at home when someone's feelings were hurt or something. It's all a blur, really. I've always heard that the mind can kind of protect you by shutting out memories that cause incredible pain. Maybe this is an example of that, I don't know.

I remember it being very cold. And raining. In fact, it rained all day last Friday. The wind was blowing so hard outside that the neighbors' Halloween pumpkin blew across their yard, into the street and landed in the storm water drain over on our side of the road. Kind of an eerie sight in the dark, cold rain. Pumpkin lying on its side, facing the cars as they passed; strange, smiling face with dark, dark eyes. But, I digress.

I'm sitting in my chair, trying to keep warm. Hubby is beside me. Words were said. Someone voices their displeasure at said words. Tears shed.
Then:

"I'm leaving. I'm going to leave this house!"

"Where are you going to go?"

"I don't know, I'm just leaving. I'm taking my stuff and going".

Tears flowing openly now.

"You can't leave; it's raining and very cold outside."

"Yes I can, I'll get my warm clothes and pillow and blankets and stuff and I'm going somewhere else!"

Ok, so the 'warm clothes' comment almost did me in.

"Well, we'll see you later. Come give me a kiss and a hug".

"NO! I'm going and you can't have a kiss."

"Ok, but you can't take your toys. The toys stay here."

Much wailing and gnashing of teeth. And falling down on the floor and whining.

"Yes I can! I wanna take my toys! My toys! I want my toys too!!!"

"Nope, but if you stay you can have your toys"

Sniff. Sniff. Tears dry up a little. Watery blue eyes with eyelashes all stuck together, runny nose, quivering chin....... he's thinking about it. Weighing his options......

Toys win.

He stays.

Mommy and Daddy are so glad.

Me, me, me! It's all about me!

2008-10-23T12:23:00.004-04:00

Got suckered into doing one of those surveys online. This time I thought it was a cute idea, so I sent it out to my friends and family to see what kind of responses I'd get from those that, ahem, know me best. Hrmph.
Look for my comments in bold.

Instructions: Okay, this one is different - this is funny. YOU fill in the blanks
about ME and send it back to ME. But FIRST send a blank one out to
all your friends, including me, so we can return the favor to you.
Be honest. They're really SCARY to get back. It only takes a few
minutes, so just do it! First send (forward) this survey to everyone
you know to see how well he or she knows you. Second, hit 'reply'
and fill this survey out about the person who sent it to you and
send it back to to me.

(my mom's response…….you'd think she'd have all the answers right, right?)

Where did we meet? RMC
Take a stab at my middle name? Jean
Do I smoke? No
Color of my eyes? Brown
Do I have any siblings? 1 sister
What's one of my favorite things to do? cuddle w/ Ben
What's my favorite type of music? Soft jazz (huh? soft jazz? where'd that come from?)
Am I shy or outgoing? outgoing
Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules? follow the rules (uh, yeah.)
Any special talents? drawing, singing
How many children do I have? 1 boy
If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what is one thing
that I would bring? Ben

(my beautiful 'baby' cousin Kellie's responses)

Where did we meet? Probably the hospital or something when I was born... I don't really remember!
Take a stab at my middle name? Jean, or **** whichever (deleted, tmi :)
Do I smoke? nope
Color of my eyes? Green? (uh, naw)
Do I have any siblings? duh! a twin sister!
What's one of my favorite things to do? Play with your little man!
What's my favorite type of music? Country and Contemporary Christian
Am I shy or outgoing? outgoing
Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules? I can remember a time or two that you were a rebel, but mostly a rule follower. (that's enough.....we'll talk later.)
Any special talents? Beautiful voice, and you know a thing or two about buttholes, you know with the whole nursing thing and all (uh, everybody remember that I'm a GI nurse, right? oh, I guess she could be referring to the doctors I have to work with....either way, yes, I do know a thing or two about buttholes.)
How many children do I have? 1, and he is the most handsome, sweetest little man in the whole world! (beautiful lady speaketh truth)
If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what is one thing
that I would bring? food I hope-- or a hairdryer! (hee hee)

(my lovely twin seester's responses – who, next to our mother, should have all the right answers…..right?.....mmm hmmm, yeah) (oh, and yes, she is a freakin' lunatic.)

Where did we meet? In our womb. (um, our womb?)
Take a stab at my middle name? :::stab!::: Got it! (ugh)
Do I smoke? Well, that's a matter of opinion...you're CUTE...but smokin'? I dunno...
Color of my eyes? same as mine.
Do I have any siblings? Yes, the most incredible sister in the entire world. (humble, much?)
What's one of my favorite things to do? Read e-mails from your incredible sister. (oy)
What's my favorite type of music? Your incredible sister singing. (uh, not so much.)
Am I shy or outgoing? oh, shy, of course...BOO! See? You jumped...
Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules? You follow the rebel rules....and get suspended from school for wearing your flag on an Alabama t-shirt. (uh, it was ISS and it wasn't just a flag, it was the rebel flag, and it was a teeny-tiny rebel flag in the shape of the great state of Alabama on a huge U.S. outline…..and I wasn't the only one. And we made the 6:00 news. And we got free pizza. So there.)
Any special talents? Which definition of "special"?
How many children do I have? 2. A tall one and a short one.
If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what is one thing
that I would bring? hopefully a cell phone!!!

(this is from my friend Barbara – she's crazy too, but strangely, got all the questions right.)

Where did we meet? Church
Take a stab at my middle name? Jean
Do I smoke? no
Color of my eyes? brown
Do I have any siblings? yep
What's one of my favorite things to do? spend time with family
What's my favorite type of music? christian/country
Am I shy or outgoing? depends on the person
Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules? follow the rules
Any special talents? has a BEAUTIFUL voice!!!
How many children do I have? one precious blue eyed boy
If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what is one thing
that I would bring? bible and some lipstick

(yet another member of my psychotic family, my crazy Aunt Charlene)

Where did we meet? after your surprise arrival of coming in twos....at grandma's house cause I wasn't allowed to go to the hospital (mama didn't know until we were born that she was having twins - that was back in the middle ages when there were no ultrasounds....and aunt lene couldn't go to the hospital to see us because she was too young.....or she had some communicable disease, or some such....)
Take a stab at my middle name? Jean
Do I smoke? YOU BETTER NOT
Color of my eyes? brown
Do I have any siblings? above mentioned other of 'twos'
What's one of my favorite things to do? spend time with TSBIGA (the sweetest boy in Georgia – abbreviated for obvious reasons…)
What's my favorite type of music? depends on your mood, but mostly country
Am I shy or outgoing? both
Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules? both
Any special talents? sings like an angel
How many children do I have? above mentioned TSBIGA
If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what is one thing
that I would bring? coffee and chocolate (true, true.)

(lastly, my other crazy Aunt Teresa, or Teesa to all....)

Where did we meet? Like I wrote for your sister while ago, the first time I met you was at RMC, and you were crying and screaming your head off, and you weren't very pretty at the time!!!
Take a stab at my middle name? Well, since it is a family name on your Dad's side, I hope I can get it right when I say "JEAN!!"
Do I smoke? Only when you walk too fast!!! lol :)
Color of my eyes? You are like your sister on that one, your eyes are dark brown!!! A brown eyed blonde!!! Or you used to be!! Lol (excuse me, but I'm still a blonde, thankyouverymuch)
Do I have any siblings? I think you had a twin, but seeing as how it is Toni, is she a sibling? And does she know that's what she is??? (oh, yes. I think she knows......mm hmm)
What's one of my favorite things to do? Go to the beach and play with Ben, maybe???
What's my favorite type of music? Like your Mama, sister, cousins, and aunts, you like George Strait, but I think you still like the type of music that was popular when you were a teenager!!! Am I shy or outgoing? I would say that you are outgoing. I told Toni that I thought she was both, but with you, I think you got brass balls, babe!! Lol (thanks!)
Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules? You mostly follow the rules, unless you don't want to, then you go your own way! (yep, it's all about me. Remember that.)
Any special talents? You can sing and draw, but I don't think you want to make a living doing either of them.
How many children do I have? You have the one beautiful little boy, that is spoiled rotten, and nobody seems to know why! (I certainly had nothing to do with it!)
If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what is one thing
that I would bring? Like your Mama, sister, cousins and aunts, you would stock up on chocolate! (true, true)

So, there ya go. Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask.

Nursing

2008-10-22T15:42:00.004-04:00

Got this question/comment from my sweet, soon to be 17 year old, 'neice'. She had read the blog I posted about Life, Love and Loss. Following is what I responded to her......
I think she'll be a great nurse.

aunt teri, how u doin? dont get to talk to u that much, but i thought ud like to know im gonna be a r.n. too. um, when u do lose a patient how does it affect u? i mean that's the major thing im worried about. suprisingly, i have a heart and im afraid it would just shatter if i lost someone. how do u deal with it?

Hey, sweetie. I didn't know that! Congrats on deciding! I've been a nurse now for um, almost 20 years and I can remember every single patient that I've had that has died. Believe it or not, it hasn't been that many, but they all were memorable.I have no question that you have a heart. I think you're awesome and your heart is too.

You'll find yourself after a while noticing that you have a bit of a shell formed. Not too hard a shell, but a shell all the same. It makes it easier to keep the enormity of what you experience from day to day from effecting you so much. The shell is sometimes disguised as humor - some awful things can be tough to bear and your humor will get you through. Medical folks have a wicked sense of humor - along with the ability to sit at the lunch table together, telling absolutely disgusting stories while eating a bologna sammich! :p

I've worked on several codes over the years and while I'm involved, I'm thinking about what the person means to the folks he/she is close to. Is she a grandma? Is someone waiting at home for him to get out of the hospital? Does he fish? Like to cook? Whats so tough is to see the work going on around the patient and then seeing the patient - where just a heartbeat before, they may have been talking, or whatever, and the next minute they're being worked on to literally save their life. Whatever that life may have been, good or bad, it's a life.

I also say a prayer. Every time.
I wonder if, like in the movies, the 'spirit' of the person is up above me, looking down. I absolutely know that at that time, the spirit of God may be in that room, and He's there to take that person home. Are there angels in the room? Ready to lead the way? I hope that's the case. I hope that the patient has had a saving relationship with the Father. What a beautiful thought that the person we're working on is now in the arms of our holy Father and we're just going through the motions, doing what we can until someone calls the code finished.

So, to sum it up. Yes, you'll be shattered. But you'll get through. And you'll remember every single person. You'll remember and you'll know that you did absolutely everything in your power but to no avail. And you'll pray. And maybe look up in the corner of the room and see the fleeting vision of heaven open up to welcome one of God's children home. And you'll remember.
I love you, kiddo.
Aunt Teri

Sushi, anyone?**

2008-10-17T13:12:00.002-04:00

Ugh. Had a most enjoyable morning. Thanks for asking. Got up at 5am to get ready for work as usual on this rainy Friday morning, but soon after the first sip of (heaven sent) coffee, I - excuse the tmi here - had to go potty. Ah, yeah.

So 30 minutes later, I decide I should call into work to let them know that I might just possibly be a wee bit late. Made my way upstairs to get ready and woo hoo, here we go again. 15 minutes later I'm back on the phone waving the white flag. Nope, this gal ain't gonna make it in today.

Go straight for the medicine cabinet. Um.....Immodium? Anyone, anyone?

There it is. When did these things become horse-pills? Anyway, pop a couple and go back to the bedroom to plant myself back in the bed. Since the daddy has been out of town, I've had a visitor in my bed. An early riser, no less. Guess who's awake and watching 'Wow Wow Wubbzy'. Loverly.

Smile......."I'm hungry, mommy". gag

"Ok, sweetie, what do you want for breakfast?" gag/bleckh

"I want waffles without the chocolate* and chocolate". ugh

Smile......."Mommy, why don't you fix you somefing and me somefing and bring it up on a tray? gag

"Oh, sweetie, mommy feels like she'll throw up or crap her pants if she puts anything remotely like food in her mouth, but thanks."
Well, ok, that's what I thought in my head. What I really said was, "Mommy's not hungry right now, sweetie, but I'll fix your waffles and chocolate and bring it up for you." I'm sweet like that.

So, down the stairs again. My guts are having a great time. I've never had an alien in my gut, but I think this morning I can relate. Something is going on down there, and it ain't good.

Back up the stairs with little Lord Fauntleroy's breakfast tray, climb back into bed and pray he doesn't want another waffle. Soon, breakfast is finished and little man says the most wonderful words in the whole wide world......"mommy, I'm still sleepy." Ahhhh. I love this kid.
Lights off, tv off, covers up and it's back to sleep for both of us.

*I buy an assortment of frozen waffles for quick breakfasts for little man. One of the most recent purchases was a waffle that's half chocolate, half vanilla. Disgusting. But he eats it and it's supposedly 'fortified'. Whatever. So, when he asked me for a waffle without the chocolate, he means a plain waffle. The second chocolate is chocolate milk, of course. What else would you drink with a waffle and syrup but chocolate milk? gaaaaaagg

**Oh, forgot to explain the sushi, anyone? title. Yesterday evening I took my visiting in-laws to a local sushi place. Nope, never been there before, but everyone that is anyone says it's the best in town. Blah, blah, blah. Not sure if that's what cause my GI distress or not, but I'd be willing to bet it had a hand in it..........

One time, at band camp....

2008-10-11T20:48:00.004-04:00

Beautiful day today. Nice and breezy, a little overcast, cool. Had the screen door and windows open to enjoy it all. So nice.

Have I mentioned we live within spittin' distance to a high school? No? Well, we do.

Oh, did I mention we live within spittin' distance to a high school with a marching band? No? Well, we do.

And, did I mention we live within spittin' distance to a high school with a marching band that practices every stinkin' day? All. Day. Long.

Now, I really, really love marching bands - not as much as my sweet seester, but hey, that's a given: she's a band nerd - but I do enjoy watching them march and listening to them play their music. But, please.

Oh, we can't see the field; there's houses and a major roadway and lots of trees betwixt our house and the school....but, by gum (!) we can certainly hear every note played. To top it off, the band director has a microphone that blasts his every verbal utterance over the amplifiers at the football field. Arggghhh.

So, today while we enjoyed the lovely weather, we also got to enjoy the band play basically the same thing over and over and over and over. All.Day.Long.
Not sure what they were doing wrong, but for some reason, the director made them play it repeatedly.
And we got to listen to it repeatedly. Oh, and btw, it sounded exactly the same every single time they played it. Every single time.
Joy.

First love

2008-10-01T14:00:00.006-04:00

Well, it's official. My little man has a girlfriend. Other than me, that is. Oh, he intends to marry me though - he asked me, and I said yes - so this little floozy is obviously just a fling until the time comes for our wedding.

Yes, he informed me of his new significant other very casually the other day. Not sure what brought it up, but he told me that he, indeed, had found another. Naturally, I was shocked.
And a little jealous. Seems this little heartbreaker is in his class at school. I guess I should have known this would eventually happen, but I never realized it would come so soon.

Don't know a lot about her, but I do know her name. Jadyn.
She's very,very cute. And blonde.
With wispy curls. Long, wispy, blonde curls.
And blue eyes. Cute, long, blonde wispy curls, blue eyes.
And short. Roughly the same height as little man.
Just the right height to see face to face.
Blue-eyes to blue-eyes.
Nose to nose.
and....
egad!!!! Lips to lips. AGHH!

My son, my sweet baby boy. Tells me in one short sentence that he has a girlfriend and that he *gasp* gave her a "kiss real". I'm assuming a "kiss real" means a real kiss in little man speak. When I asked him where he gave his kiss real, he said "on the playground." not exactly what I meant.......
So, I asked him again and he grinned, got shy and pointed to his mouth. His mouth!!!!!
ahhhh!

Floozy. Jezebel.

What's a girl to do? My heart is broken.

whaaaa??

2008-09-25T11:59:00.001-04:00

Frustrated.....

Bedtime meltdown

2008-09-24T19:51:00.000-04:00

Bed time. Last night. Little man cuddled up next to me whilst I tried to read him a story. He wanted the story, but he didn't really want to sit still or be quiet while I read the story. But, I tried. Till I gave up.

He sees the pennant bearing his name up on his bedroom wall. Benjamin.
He says, "That's not my name".
Well, true, we rarely ever call him by his full name; it's always been just Ben.
(or buddy, or little man, or puppy, or sweetie, or stinkyface…etc.)
I thought that he might be a little confused about what it said - he's only 4 and as such, doesn't read. Yet.
So, I read it to him, spelling out each of the letters for him and telling him when I finished that Benjamin is his name - his full name. Little did I know that a meltdown was imminent. Just out of the blue.

He looked right into my eyes and said that he's, "no good at anyfing."
Big, big blue eyes filled with tears and all the heartbreak a little boy could have, came spilling out.

"I can't do anyfing, and I can't write my letters, and I don't know anyfing."

Then:

"I'm mean."

What?! Um, I'm stumped already trying to understand where all the - I can't do anything stuff - came from, and then he says he's mean?? Understand that he is absolutely NOT mean (*) and his abilities with his letters and writing are exactly where they should be for a 4 year old. So, I asked him who told you that you were mean? He said, "Armond." Ok. Well, one question answered. I'm thinking then that tomorrow I'll just have to go (hunt down this little twerp Armond, and who names their kid Armond, anyway??? and show him what mean is.....) have a little talk with little man's teacher and see what might be behind my baby's bed time meltdown.

*case in point: Just last night, we went over to the local playground to let little man burn off some energy. While there, he made friends with a much smaller and very cute little girl while on the slide. Little girl lost her flip flops as she was coming down the slide, so my sweet, sweet little boy knelt down, picked them up and waited for her. When she made it to the bottom, he put them on for her. Isn't that the sweetest?!? Is that the heart of a mean child? I think not! Case closed.

Brought sweetest hubby into the conversation at some point; we both gave little man mucho, mucho assurances that he was, indeed, the sweetest boy on the planet, and he could do anyfing, (that word is driving my spell-checker absolutely crazy, btw) and that he was very smart and we were very, very proud of him. Meltdown contained.

This morning, spoke with teacher for just a few minutes and relayed the story. Her opinion of his abilities mirrors ours; she says he's doing great and that of course he needs to work on his writing. Um, the whole class does! She rolled her eyes at the comment from the twerp. She did say that her "helper" in the classroom does have a problem with tact from time to time, and if she perhaps had said anything to him, she'd address that. She also had a plan to talk to little man one on one today to see what he told her. So, we'll see what the day brings.

Oh, and twerp, you don't know mean. Yet.

leavin' on a jetplane

2008-09-16T21:54:00.000-04:00

Right at this very moment, the sweetest hubby in the world is in the air; travelling halfway around the world to Finland. Land of saunas and smoked fish for breakfast. He's scheduled to be there through the rest of the week, coming back home on Saturday. Little man and mommy are missing him already.

Godspeed, sweetie.

and the weiner is.....Tartersauce!

2008-09-16T21:12:00.000-04:00

Yippee! The mailman has delivered my prize!

A week, um, two weeks ago, maybe? Anyway, yours truly was the big weiner on a blog that I sometimes visit. Ok, yeah, so I was randomly picked by a computer program, whatevah. Doesn't matter. I won. And my prize??? An ever-so-yummy-and-free-Starbuck's gift card!!
Got to connect with the author and creator, Kelly, via email. Hey, she's the first person I've ever met from Indiana! How bout that? And, she wants to be a nurse too - in fact, she's in school right now. Yep, she's obviously demented.
Thanks, Kelly, for the gift. Good luck with your dream!

Breakfast Plans

2008-09-11T12:18:00.000-04:00

Time for bed.
Good night kisses and hugs given.
Snuggles and cuddles.
Lights out.
Covers up.

Stalling tactics begin.

"Mommy, in the mornin' after sleepy-time, do you fink you can make me some eggs and toast for breffast?"

Sure baby, I'll make you whatever you want for breakfast. Now it's time to go to sleep. Shhh.

"Mommy, when you make my eggs and toast, do you fink you can call me and wake me up and tell me it's time for breffast?"

Um, yeah, sweetie. I can call you for breakfast. Do you mean just call you from downstairs and wake you up? note how his diabolical plan is working - mommy has already forgotten that she JUST said shh, and go to sleep....keep her talking......
So, you want me to let you sleep while I fix your breakfast and then call you to come eat? must clarify plans, God forbid that I get a step wrong in the morning

"yes, Mommy-sweet-roses." that's my new name, btw. He's evil, I tell you......evil!!!!!

Ok, baby. Mommy will fix breakfast and call you to come downstairs to eat. Now, go to sleep.
You're mommy's sweet angel....'night night.

"night Mommy-sweet-roses."

Fast-forward this morning. 7 am.
Child wakes up first. Starts wiggling, but very quiet. hmmm. Could mommy sweet roses crack open one eye before being caught? Nope. Not a chance.

*smile* Whisper: "mornin', mommy", "can we get up now?"

Mm hm. You still want me to fix you breakfast and call you, since you're already awake and all?

"um, yeah, but, can you fix my eggs and toast and put it on a tray and bring it up here? you can fix me some chocolate and sit with me and we can watch my shows".
"does that sound like a good idea?"

Sounds like an excellent idea. So that's exactly what I did.
He's evil, and he has me brainwashed.

Retraction

2008-09-10T11:41:00.000-04:00

Ah. Um, so I have to take back everything I said about little man and this new found love he has with our new hometown.
Amazing the difference in 24 hours.

Left for school yesterday morning after much crying, whining, fussing, pleading...you get the idea. Someone did not want to go to school. I'm sure the culprit was in his not getting enough sleep and just being overly tired (mommy relaxes the bedtime when daddy is out of town) - (mommy always seems to forget that she will have heck to pay for this little bit of insanity).

So, we're up and I'm trying my best to get little man fed, dressed, teeth brushed, hair combed and out the door; all the while listening to, "but I don't want to go to school!" and, "I don't like my school!" and, "I want to stay home wif you!"
He sees that I'm in my scrubs, so you'd think he'd realize I'm not staying home today either, but I guess that's too much to expect for him to put two and two together on this particular morning. Out the door, his feet dragging to the car; begging and pleading now (me) and into the car we go. I'm trying my best to understand and rationalize with him, when I think - compassion. So, I ask him if I don't go to work, who's gonna take care of all the sick people at the hospital that need me?
Completely quiet from the back seat. Nothing for a few seconds....but his wheels are turning, I can hear 'em. Oh yeah.

He pulls out the big guns.

"But Mommy, I need you."

Yep. He's better at this than I am. He plays me like a piano. I'm a sucker - but not today.

At the school, I come around to let him out of the car - only slightly whining now. He's dropped his bomb so I guess he thought a quiet whine would have the best effect.
Big hug at the car door and an offer to carry him inside made it all better. I did not cave in. I scooped my 40+ pounder up, along with the twenty other things that had to be carried in, and walked into the school.
Another big hug, kiss and an I love you in his classroom and I was out the door. He was fine.

Me? Not so much.

I guess we're here to stay.

2008-09-08T21:33:00.000-04:00

I've had the pleasure to have a few 'deep' conversations with my little man in the car - either on the way to school, or on the way home from school regarding our recent move to the big city.
I'll admit, I had a few problems with this move - mainly the packing up of all our worldly possessions from a house we loved, leaving a town we'd come to consider home, leaving the most loving church 'family', jobs, friends, neighbors, etc. So, yes, needless to say, I had a tough time of it for a little while. I'm still working through it, day by day, but things are a bit better. (better living through chemicals? hmm, Tom?)
Well, the capper for me was the feelings I had regarding how little man would take all these changes. I had horrible anxiety about how he would be able to cope in a new school, with new teachers, new routine, new friends, new everything. I've said it mannnny times before that he's much better at new things than I am - he does tend to leap forward with both feet, never looking back; but I know how much he loved being at his 'old school', his old church, his old house - everything. So, with trepidation, we went forward, hoping for the best.
Back to the conversations I referred to above. Several went - not so well. Mostly a little boy who didn't understand why he couldn't go back to Ms. Joy's class; where his friends were. A little boy who didn't understand why we wouldn't be going back to our old house, our old church, our old routine. My heart ached for him when he'd say he wanted to go back, because some of the times, during the conversations in the car, I felt the same way. But, we felt that this was what God had planned for us, so like it or not (at times, still) we were in it for the long haul.
Fast forward to this morning. Sweetest hubby is out of town for the week, so it's just me and little man. We were running late, (as usual) and I was trying my best to make it through the neighborhood without running over any tennis-mom or dog-walking dad on my way to his school and my work, when from the back seat came the sweetest voice saying something like, "Mom, I like this neighborhood."
"I like these houses, they're pretty."
And, "I like my school."

Floored.

First thing: when did he start calling me Mom? I'm still Mommy. I think. Anyway.
Second thing: Huh? When did he make this discovery? Was it like Bam! Everything is ok? Or, did it creep up on him, little by little?

Couldn't get any more information out of the little guy, he clammed up after the last comment. I guess I'll have to wait till the next car ride conversation. Maybe he can tell me how I can come to the same conclusions.

living for something

2008-09-03T12:53:00.001-04:00

This is something I wrote a little while back on my myspace profile, just thought I'd pass it on.

Had two interesting patients in the two days I've worked this week. Don't get to spend an awful lot of time with my patients anymore due to the fast-paced nature of our department, but sometimes it only takes a minute or two to learn an awful lot.

This morning, I met a wonderful 80-something LOL (little old lady). Cute as a button; sitting up in the bed waiting for her colonoscopy. After checking her armband to make sure we had all the info correct and make sure we had the right patient for the procedure; my partner today, Kim, noted to her that she - "has a birthday coming up!" She smiled like a child and said, "Yep! And I've been married 58 years!" We were both floored....imagine, in today's day and age 58 years! Wow. So, of course, we asked her The Secret. She said, "Well, I just let him get his toys from time to time and it just takes care of itself."
I said we kinda follow that same rule around my house; then I told her my sweet hubby had just bought himself a new amplifier for his guitar - even though he had an amplifier already. She laughed and said, "Well my hubby just bought himself a 1987 convertible Mercedes-Benz".
Guess the older you are and the longer you're married, the boy's toys are bigger. Great.
Her colonoscopy was fine, by the way.

Yesterday, we had a man exactly my age come in for a procedure. Same scenario as above. When I noticed he still had his wedding band on, I asked him if it would come off. (you'd be surprised how many people can't get their rings off!) He said, "I think it will, yes, but....", then immediately started to choke up a little. The man sitting at his bedside said, "Hang in there, buddy" as our patient gave him his wedding band. I had no idea.

So, as we're wheeling him back to the procedure room he says, "My wife died 3 weeks ago".
He said, "I'm sorry, it's just that the last time I was here, I was with her." I took a second to peek at his armband again and remembered.
We did the procedure on his wife. We diagnosed her cancer. She found out that day she had colon cancer and that it was bad; and she found out soon after that, that the cancer had metastasized to her liver, pancreas and there was no hope. No hope.

She lasted maybe a month from diagnosis to death. He was having this colonoscopy for his kids.
His colonoscopy was normal, too. Thank God.

Barbie suitcase?

2008-09-03T12:53:00.000-04:00

So, I go to pick up little man at pre-k yesterday afternoon, and find waiting beneath his cubby, a Barbie suitcase. With a note. From his teacher.

This month at school, his class theme "All About Me". The project for each kid in the class will be to take the suitcase home, and bring it back in two days with it chock full of anything that defines them: things they like, things that make them special/unique. Then, they'll share everything with the class. Little man was completely over the moon about the suitcase and the project, in fact, when we got home, he pulled it out of the car and said, "I'm gonna start now!"

Well, I've got ideas in my head of the things that represent/define him to me; but when we walked in the house, he went straight to one of the baskets under the coffee table (that I got at Target, and really think are the cutest......anyway.) and started pulling out toy after toy after toy, to fill his suitcase.

I think he did pretty well, actually, with the toys that he pulled out......
Spiderman mask.....if you know him, you understand.
Bumble bee.......from happy meal at Het*.
Train/locomotive......his sweet Aunt ToniMac gave him.
Spongebob......well, because he's the man.
White Power Ranger......newest hero and idol, thanks to Nanny.
Black Spiderman......old standby.
Bobble-head Star Wars creature from yet another happy meal.......no comment
Red Power Ranger......again, thanks to Nanny.
Optimus Prime........because he's Cool.
Microphone..........certainly not for volume control, that's fer shure.
Bob the Tomato........another old standby.
Can o' Flarp.........because fart sounds are just the funniest thing to a 4 year old.
Super Cool Sheriff Deputy Badge.......because he rules the roost around here -truly.

So, as I'm sitting here going through this Barbie suitcase filled with these treasures, I can see in my head, the picture of him going through the basket and the built-in cabinet in the living room. Pieces and parts of toys - all sorts and sizes - probably hundreds of things that he's collected over the past 3-4 years. Most of the stuff he doesn't even play with anymore, but he took the time yesterday to sit and sort through it to find things that he deems as special enough to take to school to show his friends.

And in my head, I can remember times with each of these toys. And a little man. With an imagination and energy to bring each and every one of them to life; for himself and the luckiest mommy and daddy in the world.

*het is a shortened version of our name for McDonalds = HetMcDonalds. It's been HetMcDonalds since little man started talking.....we think maybe it's because someone once said something like "At McDonald's", but he heard "hetmcdonalds". So, it stuck. It's Het.

Hi, I'm your new neighbor.

2008-08-31T22:01:00.000-04:00

Arrrggh. Ok. I'm not the social butterfly I appear to be. Heh.

So, we're new here: in this town, in this subdivision Ok, so I'm still considering us as new here. It's less than a year, so we're still new. Right? Anyway. I'm not real good in most social situations where I don't know anyone, I just don't feel comfortable. Gimme a group of folks I know, and I can have a great time - completely comfortable. Not a worry in the world.
But plop me down in the middle of a group that I don't know and I feel completely out of my element.

Tonight our street had its annual Labor Day get-together. I felt obliged to go, for a couple of reasons. I've been feeling guilty that we haven't attended any of the other little get togethers that have been scheduled. I want to get to know my neighbors and have friends here; and most importantly - little man needs to get to know his neighbors too and hopefully find a buddy or twelve to play with...so, for the little man, I went. I unfolded, stretched out and dusted off my butterfly wings and we took off down the street.

Now, needless to say - but I will - I felt quite conspicuous coming down the street - just me and the kiddo. The sweet hubby was up to his knees in yard work, so he couldn't go. Little man wanted to ride his bike, so I got him all safety-helmeted-up and we headed down the driveway. As we left the driveway, we both realized (a little late) that the street has a pretty good downhill slope to it - funny, I never noticed it went downhill - until little man started to rocket past me. Did he remember how to apply the brakes? Oh, sure. Well, he got off the bike, and I got to pull it alongside me. Now, back to the conspicuous part. So, here we come around the curve of the street to the cul-de-sac, just me and LM. The party is obviously in full swing by now, so EVERYONE on the street is there. And here we come. Kinda hard to make a quiet entrance with a 4 year old in a bicycle helmet, who is excited beyond belief at his first look at the inflatable in the front yard. Had I not controlled him, he would have run ahead and left me, the social butterfly, to walk up alone. Ugh.

Now, once we got there and I got the helmet off and the bike put away, I let him loose. It's so easy for him - just go headfirst and see what happens. So then, I too, head to the inflatable where my little 'just jump right in the middle of it all' kid is. There I see a couple from two doors down, so I force myself over to talk to them - went very well, I think. Very nice. But then what? Can I commandeer you guys for the rest of the evening???? Nah. I knew that wouldn't work, so I had to try again. And again. And again.

All in all, I guess it went ok. But, if I hadn't made the first steps, again and again; I wouldn't have had a soul to talk to. Once or twice, the person I'd be talking to would have to go handle something or other - like a crying kid or whatever - so I'd find myself wandering over to the inflatable under the guise of checking on LM.....just so I wouldn't be standing in the middle of some un-named neighbors' yard alone.

I'm soooo uncomfortable, and oh yeah, I'm sure I hid it sooooo well, but yet, no one came running to my side to help me out. What's the deal? There were several groups sitting or standing around, and I barged into one or two, but sheesh! Can't you see I don't know a soul and you guys are not making it any easier for me? Everyone there knew everyone there - but me.

I really hope it'll get better and easier. These folks are very nice, I just have to get over my social anxiety and just go for it, like the LM does.

But, man. Things were so much easier when we were hermits and lived in the woods.

Belly aches and accidents

2008-08-28T09:34:00.000-04:00

Yesterday afternoon, I got a call from little man's pre-K teacher saying that he'd had a couple of "accidents" and he'd been complaining that his tummy hurt; so, I hopped in the car to pick him up around 1:30 or so. Got him home, settled him onto the comfy chair with the remote and 'his shows', then went to throw the noxious evidence of his sick tummy (clothes) into the wash. One word. Yuck.

He' s been battling a sick tummy since Tuesday, when he got up saying his tummy hurt. Had him sit on the potty before school, with good results, thankyouverymuch. Called the hospital to tell them I was dealing with a potential sick kid, and that I'd either be late, or not be coming in at all. Then, I snuggled with the potential sick kid for a while in the comfy chair to see if there were any more problems, or episodes. After 30 minutes or so with nothing, I asked him how he felt.
"I feel good."
"You want to go to school now?"
"Yeh."

So, off we go. Actually, he wanted his daddy to take him, so off they went and off I went to the hospital. Fast forward to late Tuesday afternoon. I'm checking my cell phone to see if I had any important calls or whatever (yeah, right. I'm such a social butterfly....) and I see that I have a message from the school. Great. That's never good.

So, I'm circling down the parking garage - floor by floor - all the while trying not to crash because I'm fumbling with my blasted phone trying to get to my voicemails. Yep, you guessed it. Little man had had several accidents and they were out of clean clothes, could we come pick him up a little early? Now, mind you, it's now 4:50. I had to work a little over, normally I get off at 4. Of all the days that I needed to get off on time (or early) this was one. But, it didn't happen.

Two things: 1)I don't carry my phone with me in the department - too much potential nasty stuff for it to fall into......nuf' said. And, 2)If they needed me to come get him early, WHY didn't they call me at work? Or the Daddy at work???

So, all I could think about was what my poor little guy was doing about clothes (is he nekkid???), and he was really sick and I'd made him go to school, and am I the worst mommy in the world????

When I got to the school, he looked like a little orphan. But a happy little orphan. No, he didn't look, nor act, sick at all. In fact, when I got there, he and two other kids were playing swords with these dowel thingys - um, can we say, not a good idea??? Anywho, since they'd gone through all his clean clothes, they'd given him some out of the lost and found, or somewhere. But, bless his heart, he had on a pair of shorts that were too short - fit in the waist, but waay short; girls maybe? and an Oshkosh long-sleeved t-shirt that on him, looked like 3/4 length sleeves.

But, you know what the first thing he said to me was? Well, after "MOMM!!", he said, "Look at my NEW clothes!!!!" He was thrilled!

What a kid.

Vitamin Ben

2008-08-27T14:12:00.000-04:00

Was able to see my little man in action this morning in his Pre-K class (without having to go all undercover....y'know - hiding behind door-frames, peeking around corners, etc.).

This week, little man has been crowned "Teachers Helper" -- with all the glory and responsibility that goes along with such a highly decorated and coveted title. So, before I left to go home and wonder what to do with myself all day; little man asked me if I would stay for a little while while he led the class in reciting the days of the week and the months of the year (in both Spanish and English, mind you). Then, they did the Pledge of Allegiance (oh yes, they did!) Woo hoo! The full version, not the watered down, leave "under God" out, PC version.
Now, he, nor any of his classmates, got it completely right, but they sure tried. It was too cute.

What just melted me (yes, I leave little puddles of myself wherever I am, it seems, when dealing with this kids' toxic, kryptonite cuteness) was how proud he was to be up in the front of the class -being the one to lead them - and the fact that his Mommy was there to see it all. To see the smile on his face was just the greatest. I felt my face completely reflecting that smile and I hope he could see how proud I was of him. I know, I know, it wasn't brain surgery; but hey, he's only 4 and this is a big deal!

So, there. There's your dose of cuteness to get you through the day. It cures what ails ya.

Good morning, mommy

2008-08-26T06:18:00.000-04:00

This morning, just like every morning, I'm got a sweet early morning hug and kiss from the sweetest boy in the world. All sleepy-eyed, scratchy voiced and warm from his bed; he's hanging onto his daddy's back before going downstairs to get breakfast and get ready for school.
Kisses and hugs and a "good morning, mommy", then he says, "Mommy, last night I had a dream about getting kisses on my lips from you." I melted. Right there on the floor. In a puddle.

This kid, this kid.

Sweet.

my sweet hubby

2008-08-16T22:21:00.000-04:00

I've got the sweetest hubby in the world.

Don't believe me? Alrighty. Here's a few examples just from today:
*He got up this morning and made special pancakes for the little mans breakfast (because the little guy asked for them) then sat down to eat a cold bowl of Special K for himself.
*He helped me balance the checkbook....(numbers + me = trouble).
*He changed out the deadbolts on the doors so we don't have to use a key to open them - which, if you think about it, could be pretty dangerous - unless you wanted to keep the key in the lock at all times.....which we don't.
*He cleaned the bathrooms upstairs and down.
*He ate the supper I cooked. ('nuf said)

He did all this and more - and he's sick - or getting sick. Think he's either fighting allergies or has the beginnings of a cold or something. But, he still took care of us and never complained.

Ain't he sumpthin?

ooh, that smell

2008-08-12T19:21:00.001-04:00

The sweetest boy in the world just tooted.

I'm sittin' here on the couch with the laptop, readin' some blogs, when I hear a sound, look up and over to where the sweetest one is sitting, to find him looking at me with a grin on his face. Immediately after, he covers this same sweet face with his hands and says, "something smells bad in here!"

First time smelling his own noxious creation. Priceless.

First Day

2008-08-12T19:21:00.000-04:00

We made it. Both of us.
Picked up little man from his first day of pre-K yesterday afternoon - when I got there, I had a second or two of Mommy-peeping-tom-time to watch him in action. There he stood, with kids on both sides of him, bent over the munchkin-sized table putting a puzzle together. My little guy.

Well, my stalking time was over pretty quickly because I was caught by one of his classmates who yelled,
"Beee-innn! Your Maaa-uuuumm isth hee-rrr!" (extra syllables courtesy of a good, southern upbringing, thankyouverymuch)

He looked up and I could see that he didn't see me at first, but once he did, he dropped his puzzle pieces and ran across the room yelling, "Mommmy!!!!" Awwww. Does a mommy's heart good.

So, on the drive home, I asked him how he liked his first day of school. Did he have fun? Did he behave? Did he like his new teacher and new room and new classmates? Yes to all. And that's it. That's all I got.
Got the daily report from his homework folder (pre-K homework?!?) with information on what his class is working on and what their objectives were, etc. Shows he participated in everything, but that's about it. Nothing really personalized except the little blurb on the bottom of the page saying, "Ben had a good day, enjoyed story time and working in centers today".

Well, for the muchly-anticipated and muchly-dreaded, first day of pre-K; I guess everything went pretty ok. No one (read: me) ran screaming down the hall of the preschool, at least. Having a very busy day at the hospital yesterday, I didn't have much of a chance to think about what this new chapter in Ben's life meant for me (cuz it's all about me, y'know....) So, we survived. He's growing up. And there's not a thing I can do about it....and honestly, I wouldn't if I could.

My little man is doing great, thanks for asking. He's unbelieveably smart, wickedly funny, super-super sweet, compassionate/caring, ridiculously energetic, completely loving and full of joy. He's gonna be fine.

Thank you, Lord.

2008-08-08T11:07:00.003-04:00

Well, we had a visitor in the bedroom. Of the lizard variety (actually, I think it's a skink?).
I spied it earlier in the day and tried my best to wrangle it out of the house, but, being faster than me (which isn't saying much....) it made it's way under the dresser and refused to budge. So, I left it to rot.

Later on I walked into the bedroom to get something, and came face to foot with the little bugger (his face, my feet). He had travelled across the bedroom to his new hiding place - under my bed. When I saw him again, he was just making his way out from under there, so we had a staring contest for a minute or two. Naturally, I called Ben in there to see it. It's not everyday a boy gets to see a real lizard in his mommy and daddy's bedroom, y'know....

Of course, Ben runs straight toward it; causing said lizard/skink to high-tail it back under the bed. Great. I'm destined to sleep with a lizard carcass under my bed?

Well, not being easily offended (obviously) Ben got down on his hands and knees, pulled up the bed skirt and said at the top of his lungs, "Wizzard! Where ARREE jew??" (had a little trouble with his y's and j's).

Then, "Wizzard!! COMMEEERRR!!"

Had I not recently emptied my bladder, I probably would have at that point......
I just wish we had cameras taping at the time....mighta won on America's Funniest.

Never caught the wizzard.